Hi. Im 16 and well..my brother when he was 13 14 or so..he would expose himself to me when I was around 10 or 11...and it happened a lot. I never told my parents..I was too afraid..because I love my brother and I didnt want to get him in trouble. Here recently until I told my mother..I caught him watching me in the shower and stuff. My mom made it to where he cant look anymore but didnt confront him and to the best of my knowledge..he stopped. But..for the past 2 years..I have had a bad problem with touching yourself and pornography. My brother exposing himself and doing this...could this play a part in my problem with touching yourself and porn? Im really concerned.
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Sexually abused
- Thread starter Greyshade89
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Maybe, but I think teenage hormones coming on track are the most likely cause.
John
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John
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madison1101
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It could be both, you are at an age where you are going to be desirous of sexual release. Also, you were exposed to sexual stimulation when you were not old enough to understand or process what was happening.
Don't beat up on yourself for this stumbling you are doing. Immerse yourself in God's Word, and pray. When you stumble, claim 1 John 1:9 and confess and repent.
Mom should consider confronting her son about his sexual acting out. He could need help from a professional.
Don't beat up on yourself for this stumbling you are doing. Immerse yourself in God's Word, and pray. When you stumble, claim 1 John 1:9 and confess and repent.
Mom should consider confronting her son about his sexual acting out. He could need help from a professional.
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theres no doubt when you are abused,raped or psychologicaly scarred by a unwarrented sexual experience it can cause improper behaviour,ive seen it with many women who have been assaulted,in your case i think its nothing to be overly concerned with as the previous post has said your waking up to your sexual desires,just keep a close eye on yourself that you keep it within reason
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whisper_dishmon said:
I seriously think that could have a BIG part of it. I was exposed to pornography when I was 4 or 5 when someone in my house was watching it. I was hooked from them until I was 21. (Heehe I'm only 22, but I'm free!!! Been free for 18 months!!!)
But one thing to consider is... did you forgive your brother for doing so? and did you repent of any sins you have committed because of your brother doing what he did to you? You need to pray that to God that you forgive him and that you repent of what you've done because of that. And if you feel unforgiveness creeping up again, do it again and again, and eventually it will go away, and not only that but whatever it caused will lose it's power, whether it's porn/masturbation or whether it's something else. Seriously, holding grudges holds us in captivity.
God bless
Take it easy! PEACE
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Can't say for sure.
I know that a lot of girls struggle with these things as well.
Porn...it's so available these days. I would try to take care of that first.
Masturbation...heck, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Even James Dobson says to leave kids alone about it.
I know that a lot of girls struggle with these things as well.
Porn...it's so available these days. I would try to take care of that first.
Masturbation...heck, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Even James Dobson says to leave kids alone about it.
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thanks...I totally forgive my brother..he is my best friend to be honest. Im scared to death that I might miss a blessing from God if Im out of His will cause of all this porn and stuff. You cant get blessings if you are choosing something that brings curses. I really want to stop..its really hard.
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You were exposed to things when you weren't ready to see or fully understand it. This happens to people who are exposed to sexual conduct when they are younger. It's not natural as some people assume, but a lot of us are exposed to this kind of environment at a young age. At least you're not out there having sex...then you would be in trouble.
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God is not going to walk away from you because of the porn/masturbation issue. He would have abandoned an awful lot of teenagers if that was his policy.
This may give you some perspective on masturbation.
Our society is not all that comfortable with sex in many ways. We speak about dirty stories and use a word like filth when referring to something sexual. We are taught to cover up parts of our bodies, and we thereby become aware that there is something a bit unusual about them. We often are embarrassed about sexual matters and our sexual parts and shame is also an accompanying emotion.
So, when you began to touch yourself and experience sexual pleasure you would feel ashamed and guilty. It was not something that you could talk about with your parents, or get any advice on. The hiddenness of you masturbating made it wrong. But, your parents rightfully had sex together, yet would have been embarrassed if you had seen them doing it, even though they were doing nothing morally wrong. So, you see, those negative feelings arent always reliable indicators that something is actually wrong. Can you understand this?
However a large number of teenagers begin to touch as their hormones kick in, (12-15) so it is quite likely that you may have experimented with it as a young teenager anyway if you had without the earlier experiences you had . Our hormones produce emotional and physical sensations that are hard to ignore. Guys start getting erections, which cannot be ignored. Girls can have very strong feelings too. This is a normal and healthy development.
But this normal development happens against a background of shame and negative attitudes about our sexual organs and sex in general. There is usually little if any, communication with adults, especially parents about what is happening. You have sex education at school, but that does not cover everything. So, when someone begins to touch themselves and finds it is very pleasurable there is plenty of incentive to continue. And, once we have activated our sex drive it seems to develop a life of its own, and becomes very hard to stop. But our negative background so often leads us to feel guilty and unclean. It is done privately, and that adds to our sense of doing something that is unacceptable. Can you identify with any of this?
We all need to cope with our newly developed sex drive in some way. These days, many teenagers just go ahead and have sex. For a Christian, that is not an option, although many Christians are pretty active sexually in various ways.
I hope you find something helpful and supportive to work with.
John
NZ
This may give you some perspective on masturbation.
Our society is not all that comfortable with sex in many ways. We speak about dirty stories and use a word like filth when referring to something sexual. We are taught to cover up parts of our bodies, and we thereby become aware that there is something a bit unusual about them. We often are embarrassed about sexual matters and our sexual parts and shame is also an accompanying emotion.
So, when you began to touch yourself and experience sexual pleasure you would feel ashamed and guilty. It was not something that you could talk about with your parents, or get any advice on. The hiddenness of you masturbating made it wrong. But, your parents rightfully had sex together, yet would have been embarrassed if you had seen them doing it, even though they were doing nothing morally wrong. So, you see, those negative feelings arent always reliable indicators that something is actually wrong. Can you understand this?
However a large number of teenagers begin to touch as their hormones kick in, (12-15) so it is quite likely that you may have experimented with it as a young teenager anyway if you had without the earlier experiences you had . Our hormones produce emotional and physical sensations that are hard to ignore. Guys start getting erections, which cannot be ignored. Girls can have very strong feelings too. This is a normal and healthy development.
But this normal development happens against a background of shame and negative attitudes about our sexual organs and sex in general. There is usually little if any, communication with adults, especially parents about what is happening. You have sex education at school, but that does not cover everything. So, when someone begins to touch themselves and finds it is very pleasurable there is plenty of incentive to continue. And, once we have activated our sex drive it seems to develop a life of its own, and becomes very hard to stop. But our negative background so often leads us to feel guilty and unclean. It is done privately, and that adds to our sense of doing something that is unacceptable. Can you identify with any of this?
We all need to cope with our newly developed sex drive in some way. These days, many teenagers just go ahead and have sex. For a Christian, that is not an option, although many Christians are pretty active sexually in various ways.
I hope you find something helpful and supportive to work with.
John
NZ
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Most of us have been sexually-abused or have sexually-seduced during our childhood.
Your masturbation and porn orientation is certainly not due to the sexual abuse. Masturbation and Porn orientation is common during the Teen years which may continue, increase or reduce or stop with passing years depending on the individual.
Your masturbation and porn orientation is certainly not due to the sexual abuse. Masturbation and Porn orientation is common during the Teen years which may continue, increase or reduce or stop with passing years depending on the individual.
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whisper_dishmon said:
touching yourself is unclean sex, using your mind and thoughts to perverse the situation, which makes it unclean! If you have to touch, do it clean with no thoughts of anything which will make you willfully sin to adultry (which is in our hears) lust and so forth! Do it with no thoughts of anything that can arise the situation of your being!
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ForgivenToo
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I have to disagree with the majority here. I was sexually abused as a child and i totally feel that it led me to be more interested in things of sexual nature. Of course i grew up in a time when sex wasn't "in your face" like it is today. I do feel that if i wasn't abused i would have made different choices in my sexual life. Pornography is easily available now and the majority of the world is "into it" in one sense or another.
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Chopsticks
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Hey whisper..
im 16 and well, i had some problem with masturbation untill
i thought of solution, whenever you feel like watching porn or touch
because of your lust, just take a 10 seconds, close your eyes and think about god,
and ask yourself "Does This Glorify the God's name?"
if you think it is glorifiying the god's name go ahead(I doubt you will...)
but if it doesnt, then again, close your eyes and pray something like
"God, I'm not going to watch those porns just for you"
as far as your brother is concerned,, i would really pray about it,,,, very deeply,,,,,
I know that sometimes boy's hormones get out of control to the point
where they are just desperate to have sex..........
now take care.........
i hope that everythings get better,,,,,
god bless you
im 16 and well, i had some problem with masturbation untill
i thought of solution, whenever you feel like watching porn or touch
because of your lust, just take a 10 seconds, close your eyes and think about god,
and ask yourself "Does This Glorify the God's name?"
if you think it is glorifiying the god's name go ahead(I doubt you will...
)but if it doesnt, then again, close your eyes and pray something like
"God, I'm not going to watch those porns just for you"
as far as your brother is concerned,, i would really pray about it,,,, very deeply,,,,,
I know that sometimes boy's hormones get out of control to the point
where they are just desperate to have sex..........
now take care.........
i hope that everythings get better,,,,,
god bless you
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