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Featured Sexual Purity

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Koe Bowmaker, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. Koe Bowmaker

    Koe Bowmaker New Member

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    Bold = scripture, regular = my thoughts


    Write down some practical ways we might help young people choose God’s way in the area of sex. (Question taken from a bible study I'm doing)


    Be around people that will keep you accountable. This is why church is important. To be constantly around others that:


    1. Sharpen you


    Iron sharpens iron,

    and one man sharpens another.


    2. Correct you in love


    Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.

    - Galatians 6:1


    3. Remind you of the purpose of sex & the context in which it is beneficial


    Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.


    But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.


    You may think there’s no harm in having sex before marriage; but you created neither yourself nor sex so you can’t give yourself or any activity objective purpose. If there is no God it’s all relative. Everyone has moral absolutes. Any time you use the word should you remove relative morality. The word should appeals to a standard outside of us & you act as if it’s real. Society cannot create this as society is constantly changing, therefore societies morals aren’t absolute.


    The grass withers, the flower fades,

    but the word of our God will stand forever.


    You may think it’s changed over time, which it has to an extent, but the core principles remain the same. The language has been modernised so that it’s easier to understand for different cultures, but the morals are never changing. The covenants are different throughout the bible. The old covenants lead people to the end of themselves, to recognise their need for a saviour. Jesus said in Matthew 5:17:


    Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfil them.



    2 Corinthians 5:16-21 explains the transition from the old law to the new after Jesus resurrection:


    16 From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.



    Furthermore exemplified in Romans 3:21-27:


    21 But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— 22 the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

    27 Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2019
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  2. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    What, would you say would be the advantage of waiting for marriage? Let's say there are two couples who will get married anyway........ One got busy before the wedding, and the other after.

    Which couple is better off and why?
     
  3. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    Paul the apostle wrote that it is God who works into each believer both the ability and the desire to do His will (Philippians 2:13). Paul wrote also that it is God who has begun a good work in those who are saved and He is the One who will bring that work to completion. (Philippians 1:6) That work is accomplished by the Holy Spirit who comes to live within every believer (Titus 3:5-6; Romans 8:9-11; 1 Corinthians 6:19) and in so doing spiritually "quickens" them. The Spirit pours out the love of God into the hearts of every genuine believer (Romans 5:5; Galatians 5:22); the Spirit imparts joy, peace and hope to the believer (Romans 15:13); the Spirit was the Power Source for mighty apostolic signs and wonders (Romans 15:19; Acts 2) the Spirit sanctifies every believer (1 Corinthians 6:11); the Spirit is the One who imparts all spiritual gifts to the members of the Church (1 Corinthians 12:6-11); and a believer puts to death the deeds of the flesh by the power of the Spirit (Romans 8:13). Why am I going on about the Holy Spirit when your request was for practical ways to help young people obey God in the sexual area? Because it is only by the Spirit that consistent, persistent and God-pleasing obedience in this area may be maintained.

    Christians like to offer up all sorts of systems and strategies for countering the sexual impulse: cold showers, keeping busy, accountability, cutting off access to temptation, Bible reading, prayer, cognitive therapies, getting married, etc. Some of these counters to sexual temptation have a solid biblical basis and definitely contribute to staying free of sexual sin, but the heart of obedience to God is found in living in daily, even moment-by-moment submission to the Holy Spirit.

    I lived for many years as I think the majority of believers do, exerting my own human resources in the business of obedience to God and finding only ever limited, external success. I could go for a bit in my own human effort; I could steel myself for a time, determining not to yield to sin. But, I didn't really enjoy doing so and, of course, my focus was then upon my sin; my own resistance to sin made me obsessed with it. And my preoccupation with sin in time conformed me to it. But this is why God never in His word urges us to focus upon our sin. We are always conformed in some manner to that upon which we focus; it's just the way God has made us. And so, we are told to "look unto Jesus" and to "consider him" (Hebrews 12:2-4); we are told to think on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, virtuous and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8); we are told to meditate upon and delight in God's word (Psalms 1; Psalms 119:11; Jeremiah 15:16; Psalms 19:7-11, etc.); we are told to be "spiritually minded," occupied with eternal, holy, Christ-centered things (Romans 8:5-14; Colossians 3:1-3; Philippians 3:20; 2 Corinthians 3:18).

    I did try to fix my mind upon God's truth. And it did help significantly. But the Power Source for living a holy life isn't ultimately in the truth of God's word, powerful though it is. To think as I did that God's word was the key to holy living is akin to thinking the road map to Toronto is the means by which you'll get there. The road map shows you the direction in which you must go and the best route along which to do so and thus, in a sense, is vital in getting you to Toronto, but it is your car, not the map, that will actually move you from where you are to Toronto. So, too, with God's word and the Holy Spirit. Scripture is a crucial "road map" to spiritual living, but it is the Holy Spirit who is the "car" that will take me to the spiritual destination laid out for me in the "road map" of God's word. It took me a while to figure this out.

    By God's grace, what I have come to see in Scripture is that the real "key" to Christian living, to consistent victory over all sin, sexual or otherwise, is constant surrender to the Holy Spirit. In fact, Paul indicates that this is a basic characteristic of the true son of God:

    Romans 8:14
    14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.


    As Paul noted here, it is the one who is led by the Spirit, whose living is ordered and directed by the Spirit, who is a "son" (or daughter) of God. I was once a believer who held a general fidelity to God and to Christ and who believed the Holy Spirit was living within, giving me spiritual life and power, but I was not actually led of the Spirit in any direct, consistent way. I would seek the Spirit's guidance, not expecting any real, clear answer, and I would ask for His power in moments of spiritual struggle, but I did not ever actually consciously surrender myself to His will and way. As a result, I was very...inconsistent in the holiness of my living. My life was crowded by compromise and sin - much of which I did not even recognize as such.

    Repeated failure began to press in upon me. Frustration and confusion mounted. I came to despair of ever being able to live as God had called me to (except in short-lived bursts that always ended in failure). This was just the place I needed to be, however. Only in utter and repeated failure was I ready to begin to depend entirely upon God as I should have been all along. And so I did. But, my dependence wasn't surrender. I could admit I was utterly weak and incapable of living as God had called me to live, but this didn't mean I would humble myself (James 4:10; 1 Peter 5:6), and yield myself (Romans 6:13-18), and submit myself to the Holy Spirit (James 4:7); it meant instead that I should apply to the Spirit for more power, that I should never try to act in my own power, that only God could make me who I should be. I would have to be made better, I would have to be powered-up by God.

    But this was wrong. Quite wrong. The Holy Spirit does not empower those whose lives are not fully surrendered to him. God is not into half-measures, you see. He doesn't demand just bits and pieces of me; He won't accept only a marginal, supporting role in my life. No, He comes to my life as GOD. He will rule in me, just as He does in all of the universe. He is LORD, the Boss, the One who calls the shots. And until I walk in moment-by-moment surrender to Him, I cannot truly enjoy Him and experience full and consistent victory over sin. As in so many aspects of Christian living, God puts things on their heads: Victory is found only in surrender.

    I encounter so many believers who want God's power, but want more or less complete personal autonomy at the same time. Christians want God's stuff, but they don't want Him. I was certainly this way. The idea that God can shape me and direct me any way He likes was a scary prospect. What if God's will and way diverges sharply from my own? How much of my life of comfort and self-service will have to go in order to live "according to the Spirit"? "What if God wants me to go to Africa?", one girl said to me. Another said, "What if He wants me to marry an ugly guy?" "Will I have to give up everything I enjoy?" one fellow asked me.

    Here's the thing, though: God doesn't just direct the surrendered believer but gives him/her the desire to do as He wills. Remember, Paul wrote that God gives us both the desire and ability to do His will (Philippians 2:13). And so He does. As the believer lives in persistent, conscious surrender to the Spirit, they find they desire more and more what He desires, they develop a hunger for holiness as well as the capacity to live in holiness. And this is the way to consistent, biblical victory over all sin.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2019
  4. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    What advice do you need?
     
  5. Koe Bowmaker

    Koe Bowmaker New Member

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    Thank you for your detailed response. I think that the Spirit obviously empowers us once we believe & receive Him, but without the Spirit we're powerless. So it's our job as Christians, empowered by the Spirit, to inform others that they need forgiveness, otherwise they'll never receive the Spirit to empower them.
     
  6. Koe Bowmaker

    Koe Bowmaker New Member

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    Maybe I put this in the wrong section. I saw someone else post something similar in this section. I more so posted it to give others advice but I'm open to any advice people have in the area of lust & sexual morality.
     
  7. Koe Bowmaker

    Koe Bowmaker New Member

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    Simply because God created people & sex with a purpose. But I also think it teaches self-control. If you can't wait until you're married to have sex with you're would be spouse, you're not developing to self-control necessary for monogamy. The shame associated with sex before the marriage could also destroy the relationship.
     
  8. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    Appropriate shame is good. And what is the biggest problem in the Western world today? Immoral sexual activity. And how was this helped along? The birth control pill in the 1960s along with immoral preaching by people called Hippies. It's OK, they said. In the 1970s, legal abortion. And in Europe, in Ireland, legal abortion today. And in the 1980s, fake "No-Fault" divorce completes its sweep of the United States. "It got too easy" is what I heard. It's nobody's fault? Of course it is. Aside from abandoning the person you married, how can it not be?

    Women need to be modest. Men cannot think of women as only sexual objects. And without compatibility outside of the bedroom, how does the couple have a relationship? What will they talk about? What will keep the relationship going? Not sex.
     
  9. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    Can you tell us what the purpose of sex is.....and give a scripture reference if you have one.

    I think the opposite..... to foster self control, you must engage in an action in moderation.... cut it in and out as you choose to and not based on urges. As one who waited more than 25 years....I can tell you that there is no self control needed to abstain from something you never experience......it is afterwards that self control is in play.

    But self control is an admirable quality to have....and is a natural fruit of the spirit.

    Therefore, cleaning the inside is all that is needed......while making the outside of the tomb appear clean, profits little.

    Are you of the mind that monogamy is only possible with Virgins....and is difficult for those who are not, with or without the Spirit of God?

    The only one who would experience this shame, are those taught to feel it....namely religious people.....who are the same one that would look on another with shame who commits this act.

    So for you to get non-religious people to do as you like, you must first teach them the law, and to feel ashamed...After this....then, as you state....they can go on to destroy the relationship.

    Why would you want to introduce this shame to one who does not yet have it, when you know it has the possibility of destroying relationships?
     
  10. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    The world denies shame and guilt and sin. The world also denies hell. To the degree that it denies the truth it falls more and more into error. It is left with the lust of the flesh.

    Shame does not destroy relationships.
     
  11. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    And because of this, they are free of the guilt, shame and fear that plague most religious people.

    Therefore, are those that experience this shame and guilt and fear, standing in the liberty wherewith Christ has made them free....no longer entangled in bandage?

    Guilt and shame, causes many in the world to kill themselves......look at Judas. Are we in possession of the good news.....if our new introduces guilt and shame to those who does not yet experience it?

    Maybe, maybe not.....these were the thoughts of the OPer.
     
  12. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    Don't try to add confusion. All of mankind has its origin and final rest with God or in hell. The truth is the truth. All men will be judged. All men will either enter Heaven or not. I saw this on a billboard:

    Life is short.
    Eternity isn't.
     
  13. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    And you believe that the way to heaven is by not engaging in sex before marriage?
    This thread is not about salvation or making it to heaven, It is about placing shame on others.

    If you want me to add more confusion.....answer me this, since you believe the billboards:

    "And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?"

    Why are pushing into the future, a promise meant for today?
     
  14. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    THE biggest problem in the West today is sex before marriage. In the United States, the CDC has been issuing STD Epidemic warnings. Fact.
     
  15. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    This is what most believers would say, yes. But, I know many professing Christians who have lived for decades as such who are for the most unchanged from who they were before being saved. Paul the apostle wrote to believers - genuinely born-again people - who were carnal, selfish, contentious and guilty of grave sexual sin. How could they be made spiritually alive by the Holy Spirit without living transformed lives? How could they be empowered by the Holy Spirit unto a new, second spiritual birth but remain bound in sin? The answer is that they had not died to themselves in surrender to God, they were not living the crucified life that is the life of self-denial and constant submission to God that I described in my last post. And so long as this was so, they were saved but not living in the victory over sin that could only be theirs in surrender to the Spirit.
     
  16. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

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    The biggest in some ways, perhaps. But idolatry is more dangerous, and less likely to be repented of. And very common.
     
  17. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    This is worse than that? And your point is what? How do you know who repents about what?
     
  18. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

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    Can't publish that on this forum - it is against the rules posting who does what, unless they post it first, and then still sometimes still not allowed.
     
  19. Mattin91

    Mattin91 Member

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    Nice dodge. I didn't ask for graphic descriptions, just how you know which sexual sins get repented of.
     
  20. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +10,345
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    It's not a good idea to assume something posted is not true, especially when you have no evidence that it is not true, and there is good evidence that it is true.
     
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