Sexual immorality between married couples.

[Jermayn]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

 

[archer75]

You'll get wildly different answers on this.

 

[Sabertooth]

Just enjoying each other? No, as long as you are not injuring each other.

(Adding porn remains wrong, though.)

 

[thecolorsblend]

I am Catholic and speak from that perspective.

Without getting gross, the Church has specific teachings on immoral sexual acts. Married or not, certain acts are simply prohibited. Meaning, anything other than conventional relations between man and wife are immoral.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

marriage is about love and the sexual aspect is about intimacy. Certain fetishes are about lust and are a perversion of the intimate relationship of the two becoming one flesh.

 

[solid_core]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

No. Do whatever you two like. Its your bed.

But if its about sadism and other similar things, there can be some underlying problem like hatred towards the opposite gender in general etc. Generally, any strange sexual behaviour has some roots in childhood and its better to solve it than to let it grow more.

But immoral per se? No, I do not think so.

 

[Kris Jordan]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

According to the Bible, the marriage bed is pure. Meaning, "anything goes" between a man and his wife, as long as both are willing participants in all sexual acts and no outsiders are involved (i.e., porn, other people. etc.).

 

[Not David]

Seeing the other person as a sexual object.

 

[Al Touthentop]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

By my reading, no.

 

[bèlla]

Most ideas regarding immorality are not the result of biblical precepts. They’re an outgrowth of religious teachings, parental influence, and social conditioning. Couples are rarely aligned in all three and problems ensue.

~Bella

 

[createdtoworship]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

I am Catholic and speak from that perspective.

Without getting gross, the Church has specific teachings on immoral sexual acts. Married or not, certain acts are simply prohibited. Meaning, anything other than conventional relations between man and wife are immoral.

According to the Bible, the marriage bed is pure. Meaning, "anything goes" between a man and his wife, as long as both are willing participants in all sexual acts and no outsiders are involved (i.e., porn, other people. etc.).

If people are worried that they need spice in their marriage bed, instead of going for porn or other fetish. Try fasting from sex for a week, or a month or several months. I am sure spice will return. Fasting has many benefits. Typically sexual dysfunction is the result of over stimulation. One the stimulation is removed, things return to normal. This goes for any type of dysfunction, self gratification, struggles with porn you name it. Get rid of that stuff and a healthy marriage bed returns.

 

[Alistair_Wonderland]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

I am of the opinion that if the Bible does not directly forbid something, it isn't wrong. None of these "this verse infers this meaning" rules; I can make up a dozen meanings for any verse if I wanted to. God didn't make the Bible to only be understood by theologians, and He's still as sovereign in controlling what His words say now as He was when it was written.

If it's not directly, explicitly condemned, then any other law is a law of man. And those are subjective; some people may disregard them, others may be tempted to sin if they do. But no, between a hubby and wifey, there is no sin in the bedroom, so long as it's consenting between just the two of them and isn't harmful. So if a couple likes spanking or roleplaying, it's their business. Besides, it's not like any of the people at your church are actually going to find out unless you tell them, so if you're worried about man's opinions, don't. God is way more chill than most people (he made every tiny aspect of sex, after all), and it's none of anyone else's business what goes on when you close that door. (Assuming you're inside; so long as you have your privacy, I guess you could enjoy each other outside, too.)

 

[createdtoworship]

I am of the opinion that if the Bible does not directly forbid something, it isn't wrong.

this is not a biblical mindset. Can we do recreation, yeah. I look at it as resting in Him. But recreation is not mentioned in the Bible, but too much recreation can become an idol. On another note: if something is not pure, lovely, gentle, patient, kind....

etc.

If you can't imagine Jesus doing something, it's probably not a good thing.
For example I don't see Jesus speeding to work, getting anxious over a late appointment etc. Jesus was never in a hurry. It does not say you can't be in a hurry. But usually when we are in a hurry we are anxious, and the Bible does forbid being anxious. Due usually to making mistakes while being anxious.

Furthermore: some ideas while not in the Bible are still wrong. Things that are not gentle. Anything not kind (even if not mentioned in the Bible), anything not loving (even if not mentioned)....

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things areof good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.- Phillipians 4:8

many fetishes, in marriage are based on lust, or anger, or a host of unbiblical principles.

The fruit of the spirit is gentleness, kindness, self control etc. (galatians 5:22-23)

(not saying that you were talking about that by the way)

But it is implied in this thread.....

 

[Alistair_Wonderland]

this is not a biblical mindset. Can we do recreation, yeah. I look at it as resting in Him. But recreation is not mentioned in the Bible, but too much recreation can become an idol. On another note: if something is not pure, lovely, gentle, patient, kind....

etc.

If you can't imagine Jesus doing something, it's probably not a good thing.
For example I don't see Jesus speeding to work, getting anxious over a late appointment etc. Jesus was never in a hurry. It does not say you can't be in a hurry. But usually when we are in a hurry we are anxious, and the Bible does forbid being anxious. Due usually to making mistakes while being anxious.

Furthermore: some ideas while not in the Bible are still wrong. Things that are not gentle. Anything not kind (even if not mentioned in the Bible), anything not loving (even if not mentioned)....

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things areof good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.- Phillipians 4:8

many fetishes, in marriage are based on lust, or anger, or a host of unbiblical principles.

The fruit of the spirit is gentleness, kindness, self control etc. (galatians 5:22-23)

(not saying that you were talking about that by the way)

But it is implied in this thread.....

There is truth in what you say, but "for every thing there is a time and place". If someone's affections towards their spouse are more aggressive, it is not often out of lust (as lust is desire without love, I do not believe spouses who love each other can lust after each other), but out of love, and so long as the affection is welcomed, it shouldn't be considered in any way not gentle just because the physical aspects are more vigorous, for the same gentle, caring love that brings a couple together manifests itself not by physical activity, but by a desire to fulfill your dearly beloved's every desire (including the kinky ones).
I feel that by defining what a couple can do between one another in the bedroom is to try and define love, and love takes many forms, some like a gentle butterfly, others like a raging inferno. Putting barriers on the unforbidden is only going to incite temptation; many people sin not because their actions are sinful, but because of the mentality behind them. Eating pork is not a sin, but in the old days it was, not because bacon is of the devil, but because of the rebellious mindset behind it.

As for "If you can't imagine Jesus doing something, it's probably not a good thing.", I can't honestly imagine Jesus having sex at all, since He did not take a wife.

It is ultimately a matter of semantics. What do you feel comfortable doing with your partner? So long as it is based in love, is it not a kindness to fulfill your spouses wishes and prevent them from being tempted to seek fulfillment elsewhere? And so long as the gentle caring of the heart remains, the physical activity is only a manifestation of that feeling. Some people love their spouse so much that they can't restrain themselves to slow petting, but have to express the depth and strength of their passion more vigorously. Besides, Leviticus tells us not to mate with animals; if God puts down a rule which even the most depraved unbelievers know and agree with, then He's making certain to provide absolute clarity in His word so that even the simplest of fools can understand it. (Lucky for fools like me.)
God knows the heart of man and how he tries to justify his actions. It is why many Biblical passages are written so bluntly and repeated over and over; because God doesn't leave loopholes. He knows we're going to try and find a way around the rules. So he designed them so that the only way to get around them is to straight up deny or question their legitimacy, and by that point you're pretty much just telling God "I know better than you", and with that mentality you probably aren't actually seeking to do the right thing.

Sorry if I'm ranting. I fully respect your opinion, and I understand that maybe God knows such behavior would not be good for you. I just have very strong feelings on the suppression of God-given sexual desires in the modern Christian church. So many doctrines of men. Ugh. God wouldn't have made it so much fun if He didn't want us to enjoy it.

 

[createdtoworship]

There is truth in what you say, but "for every thing there is a time and place". If someone's affections towards their spouse are more aggressive, it is not often out of lust (as lust is desire without love, I do not believe spouses who love each other can lust after each other), but out of love, and so long as the affection is welcomed, it shouldn't be considered in any way not gentle just because the physical aspects are more vigorous, for the same gentle, caring love that brings a couple together manifests itself not by physical activity, but by a desire to fulfill your dearly beloved's every desire (including the kinky ones).
I feel that by defining what a couple can do between one another in the bedroom is to try and define love, and love takes many forms, some like a gentle butterfly, others like a raging inferno. Putting barriers on the unforbidden is only going to incite temptation; many people sin not because their actions are sinful, but because of the mentality behind them. Eating pork is not a sin, but in the old days it was, not because bacon is of the devil, but because of the rebellious mindset behind it.

As for "If you can't imagine Jesus doing something, it's probably not a good thing.", I can't honestly imagine Jesus having sex at all, since He did not take a wife.

It is ultimately a matter of semantics. What do you feel comfortable doing with your partner? So long as it is based in love, is it not a kindness to fulfill your spouses wishes and prevent them from being tempted to seek fulfillment elsewhere? And so long as the gentle caring of the heart remains, the physical activity is only a manifestation of that feeling. Some people love their spouse so much that they can't restrain themselves to slow petting, but have to express the depth and strength of their passion more vigorously. Besides, Leviticus tells us not to mate with animals; if God puts down a rule which even the most depraved unbelievers know and agree with, then He's making certain to provide absolute clarity in His word so that even the simplest of fools can understand it. (Lucky for fools like me.)
God knows the heart of man and how he tries to justify his actions. It is why many Biblical passages are written so bluntly and repeated over and over; because God doesn't leave loopholes. He knows we're going to try and find a way around the rules. So he designed them so that the only way to get around them is to straight up deny or question their legitimacy, and by that point you're pretty much just telling God "I know better than you", and with that mentality you probably aren't actually seeking to do the right thing.

Sorry if I'm ranting. I fully respect your opinion, and I understand that maybe God knows such behavior would not be good for you. I just have very strong feelings on the suppression of God-given sexual desires in the modern Christian church. So many doctrines of men. Ugh. God wouldn't have made it so much fun if He didn't want us to enjoy it.

While I agree lust is acceptable towards one's spouse. I would disagree with you on another point....
you mention aggression in a marriage bed. And how would that fit biblically speaking. 2 Tim 3:16 mentions that the bible is good for all sorts of life matters. There is nothing that we go through or do that is not addressed in the instruction manual. If the Bible says "be gentle." How is using aggression, obedient to that? Any by the way forbidding aggression does not in any way tempt myself for example who have crucified that affection and desire. While yes, there is temptation initially when there is a rule put in place (but temptation is not always there). There is a learning curve associated with it. And there is temptation during that learning phase. But what I noticed is if you can typically set a habit for about three months, usually that habit gets burned in your long term memory. And at that point the verse that says "resist the devil and he will flee" James 4:7 becomes true. But again one must resolve in his or her mind to love as Jesus loved. That means romance, gentleness, self sacrifice. Helping your mate, making the bed, doing dishes, doing laundry. Love and self sacrifice do way more for passion in the marital bed than carnal aggression ever could.

 

[Sabertooth]

How is using aggression, obedient to that?

I remember reading (at a Christian marriage-related site) about one couple who liked to include sports-style wrestling in their [ahem, activities].

 

[Sketcher]

Is it possible for married couples to be sexually immoral? I'm not talking about things like swinging or adultery, as those are obviously immoral, but married couples who are faithful to one another.

- Nonconsensual sex
- Public indecency
- Any fetish that does gross physical harm to one or the other
- Any fetish that literally endangers other people

I think giving examples would be against the rules, or too close for comfort.

 

[Sabertooth]

- Nonconsensual sex
- Public indecency
- Any fetish that does gross physical harm to one or the other
- Any fetish that literally endangers other people

I think giving examples would be against the rules, or too close for comfort.

You are just expanding on the caveats of previous posters.

 

[createdtoworship]

I remember reading (at a Christian marriage-related site) about one couple who liked to include sports-style wrestling in their [ahem, activities].

I would just think that was being playful. But I think there are some types of fetishes that are simply unbiblical. The whole "anything goes because I am married, and my bedroom door is locked" is not a good idea.

 

[createdtoworship]

- Nonconsensual sex
- Public indecency
- Any fetish that does gross physical harm to one or the other
- Any fetish that literally endangers other people

I think giving examples would be against the rules, or too close for comfort.

yes I agree, things that don't follow the fruits of the spirit, "gentleness, self control"