Severe depression - Need prayers

[NostalgicGranny]

Well, the good news is that "new job - new co-worker friends".

Why don't you pursue your hobbies outside of work? Find someplace to play tennis outside of your job. Music & theater can be pursued recreational or as a continuing education type thing. Language could be pursued with more education and/or as a job.

I'm having a hard time finding a new place of worship as well. Someplace that I feel like I fit in, but I'm still looking. So I guess I'm a fine one to say take it there.
Don't give up though. It's there somewhere I just know it is. You will know when you find it too, it will feel just like home. Like the way you envision home feeling. And there is just something comforting about worshiping someplace where everyone holds your same beliefs.

Wow! You seem to have so many talents, and I'm just me . . . I wish I could do half the stuff you are capable of! I know you can do this. You can rise above the garbage that is going on right now.

In any case I am praying for you today.
</IMG>

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Take it slowly, brother... let people get to know you. You are a very caring , compassionate person, and others will appreciate that. But friendship doesn't happen overnight.
God is in control, and He *will* put you with the people who will support you and help you to grow in Him, and who you can support too.
He has the perfect job for you - and His timing is perfect.. He is planning it, you just need to wait and to trust...
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."


Praying for you.

Well said! I really really agree with this.

 

[Jase]

Well, the good news is that "new job - new co-worker friends".

If I find a new job that is. But then it's just the same thing again. I meet new people, get attached, then either I leave or they leave and we never keep in touch. Friendships never seem to last for me.

Why don't you pursue your hobbies outside of work? Find someplace to play tennis outside of your job. Music & theater can be pursued recreational or as a continuing education type thing. Language could be pursued with more education and/or as a job.

Well, where I work is one of the few places to play tennis anywhere near me. No where else within 45 minutes has as much. I'd love to pursue a career in music or languages, but they are just too hard to be successful at. Entertainment is the hardest career field in the world imo short of the President, and without living in another country, it's extremely difficult to be as fluent as you need to be in another language to actually use it as a career. I'd love to be an interpreter for the United Nations or Government, or work at an Embassy, but you have to basically be born bilingual to get those kind of jobs ( especially at the U.N.).

I'm having a hard time finding a new place of worship as well. Someplace that I feel like I fit in, but I'm still looking. So I guess I'm a fine one to say take it there.
Don't give up though. It's there somewhere I just know it is. You will know when you find it too, it will feel just like home. Like the way you envision home feeling. And there is just something comforting about worshiping someplace where everyone holds your same beliefs.

For me, i may just have to wait until I move to another place to find someplace. Unfortunately, us Messianic Jews/Jewish Christians are extremely rare.

Wow! You seem to have so many talents, and I'm just me . . . I wish I could do half the stuff you are capable of! I know you can do this. You can rise above the garbage that is going on right now.

Oh, i'm not that talented Music is probably the only one of my hobbies I would consider myself talented or gifted, but I'm no where near capable of doing it professionally.


Thanks for the prayers. Today is a rough day for me too. I hate New Years. I always spend it alone. Just laying in bed, staring at the wall trying to sleep through the new year. For most people, New Years is a cheerful event. For me, it's just a reminder of having to live through another year of suffering.

 

[Criada]

Father, please wrap Jase in Your arms and let him know Your love.
Lord, let this be a year of change, of restoration and blessing.
Heal, guide, protect and bless him, Lord.
Fill him with Your peace, and give him hope for the coming year
in the name of Jesus
Amen


God bless you, Jase.

 

[Jase]

Father, please wrap Jase in Your arms and let him know Your love.
Lord, let this be a year of change, of restoration and blessing.
Heal, guide, protect and bless him, Lord.
Fill him with Your peace, and give him hope for the coming year
in the name of Jesus
Amen


God bless you, Jase.

Thanks Criada. Aside from my regular problems, I'm also so frustrated with what God wants me to do or what my purpose is. For example, I mentioned I'm fairly talented in music. I have a lot of potential with piano, and I think i have potential vocally. But I don't feel like God is really opening doors for me to pursue that. Entertainment is sooooo hard to be successful in. So why does God give me a musical gift,and not help me be successful at it? I'm trying to start writing music too, but i just don't think I have what it takes.

Then, back to the friends/co-workers issue. Did God bring us together for a reason? It seems like all the friends I do make tend to be the bad boy/girl type ( or at least used to be). I've never been bad, so why are we brought together? My best friend and I always joke that I'm an Angel and he's a Demon.

Maybe to witness to them, but they don't really want to get into that discussion. Why does God allow me to develop these friendships and get attached to people, knowing we are so different it's going to be a struggle for me ( because they like to party and stuff, and I don't)? And he knows we are eventually going to no longer work together, and then I'm just going to get upset.

I just feel so helpless in these type of situations. I even have dreams where if something were to happen to these people (God forbid), that God would grant me the ability to heal them or save them. What do those kinds of thoughts and dreams mean?

Sorry, now I'm just rambling. Honestly, all these problems are probably just in my head, and these dreams and attempts at friendship are just my subconscious need to be loved by people. Maybe i'm just pathetic that I have no one. I know you will disagree, but it's certainly an easier explanation.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

The job & friendship thing is that way for pretty much everyone Jase. Look around - you will see it's true. Not that many people form lasting relationships with co-workers.

I live in the country so a 45 minute drive to do something hobby related is pretty much a piece of cake. Besides it isn't about which place is better. It's about pursuing your hobbies outside of work. Guess it's more the desire to want to do it. Sometimes I drive into town simply because I haven't been anywhere lately. Just to get out, and inter-react with other people.

You are talking your way OUT of a career in music or language before you even begin. Everyone has to pay their dues no matter what career the choose. That's just another fact of life. There are a ton of ways to utilize those two talents. Advertising would be one way to use both of those two talents. And also teaching.

Almost every company asks on the job application if you know another language. Do some research to find out what countries the company works with or has operations in. If it correlates with any of the languages you know then they need you. Some understanding is better than none. There is also a fairly good market for interpreting letters and other documents. It would be a good way to go into business for yourself. Plus the best part is you could do it on the side as a hobby until your clientele is build up enough to do it full time.

Most likely the UN would want to see that you have proved yourself in that field before they would hire you as an interpreter. Paid your dues so to speak. There is more than just the UN. Military, government, immigration, education to name a few need someone who understands other languages. Even as a cashier (depending on where you live) another language is an asset.

Again as far as going to worship you have to at least contact yours to find out what is recommended for when people are so far away. You never can tell, someone else might be relatively near you and maybe you could study together or car pool.

Even when you don't want to go out and do something, sometimes it is just better to do it. Especially if it involves going outside. Vitamin D or lack of it can make a person depressed. It comes from good old fashioned sunshine. You get it even just walking to your car to go somewhere. So make yourself go out. If none of your hobbies are near by get new ones. Even elementary schools sometimes have adult oriented classes after hours. Check into it. You might find you don't like the new hobby. So what. You've met people. People who are trying to better their selves. And there is always going to be the next time.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Then, back to the friends/co-workers issue. Did God bring us together for a reason? It seems like all the friends I do make tend to be the bad boy/girl type ( or at least used to be). I've never been bad, so why are we brought together?

Why does God allow me to develop these friendships and get attached to people, knowing we are so different it's going to be a struggle for me ( because they like to party and stuff, and I don't)? And he knows we are eventually going to no longer work together, and then I'm just going to get upset.

That's just it, God doesn't just allow it, you do. He gave us free will. If he had wanted to just control us he would have made puppets instead of mankind. The bible does tell us basically, to be careful who we associate ourselves with. But sometimes he does put others in our path. Maybe they need you to testify, maybe they need you to show them how to walk through a given situation without being lost in sin. Or maybe you need them in someway that you haven't discovered yet. That is something only time will tell for sure. BEsides, God never said we wouldn't struggle. But because he is God, we have hope. We have someone to do the fighting for us when we can't or won't.

I just feel so helpless in these type of situations. I even have dreams where if something were to happen to these people (God forbid), that God would grant me the ability to heal them or save them. What do those kinds of thoughts and dreams mean?

Maybe fantasy - maybe he will grant you the ability to help them heal or to save them. Everyone dreams. Everyone has fantasies. Most of them do not materialize. And for the most part (to Christians) it isn't a sin.

these dreams and attempts at friendship are just my subconscious need to be loved by people. Maybe i'm just pathetic that I have no one. I know you will disagree, but it's certainly an easier explanation.

You aren't pathetic Jase. Your lost within yourself right now. The only way to find yourself again is to get up out of your chair, face the light, and take a step toward the light. Then take another step, and another. Just keep going until you can feel the warmth of the light shining on your face.

 

[Criada]

Jase, I don't have any answers really. I am struggling in so many ways myself.
But - I *know* that God loves you, and that His plans for you are perfect.
As for your friends, the fact that they don't want to discuss God doesn't mean that you are not witnessing to them. Our most powerful testimony is in the way that we live, and they will see God working in you, even if they don't want to hear what you have to say!
And you are not pathetic. You are loved and accepted by God, and you are seeking Him in your hurt. And that is all any of us can do.. and it is enough, because He has promised that if you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him.
Still praying for you, brother.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

I'm still praying for you Jase.

 

[michristke]

still praying

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Praying for you Jase!

 

[Criada]

Praying, Jase.
God bless you.

 

[michristke]

still praying

 

[NostalgicGranny]

Still praying.

 

[Criada]

How are you doing Jase?
You are still in my prayers, brother.
God bless you.

 

[michristke]

still praying

 

[Criada]

Praying, Jase.

 

[NostalgicGranny]

 

[Jase]

Been awhile since i've visited this thread. Unfortunately, I still need more prayers. I'm still struggling with chronic loneliness so much. And I'm still searching for God's purpose for me. For some reason God wants me to be alone forever. I know I will never be loved or get to love anyone. How do you live with that feeling?

I also have 2 new best friends and I'm wondering if God sent me to them for a reason. I'm just so frustrated that I feel like I can't help them or be there for them enough.

I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep every night.

 

[Hisbygrace]

Dear Jase, don't be conned into believing that God wants you to be alone forever, that was not His purpose in creating us. But, sometimes He doesn't bring someone into our lives right away because He wants us to build our relationship with Him first. I am glad that he has brought two new friends into your life and I hope that those friendships grow. There are many kinds of relationships in life and perhaps He wants you to learn about friendship first. Be patient and keep the faith, He knows exactly who He wants to bring into your life for that special relationship and the wait is worth what He has to offer.

Dear heavenly Father I lift up Jase to You tonight in the name of Your precious Son Jesus and I pray that You would free him from this loneliness that he is feeling. Father strenghten him and give him confidence to believe that You have the perfect person in mind for him. Amen.