Severe Anxiety When it Comes to Religious Things

[Carolina Slim]

Hello all. I made a brief introduction in the Introduce Yourself area, so I hope you don't mind me posting here. I'm not sure where else to really talk about this, my friends know I suffer with it but it's something that keeps coming back to me.

My attention to religious/spiritual things tends to rise and fall along with my mood shifts. I'm currently seeing a therapist and getting treatment, but the category of Christianity just sets off anxiety attacks like nothing else.

I used to be pretty... devout? I guess is the word but after awhile I couldn't take it anymore due to how severe the anxiety attacks would get. For awhile there I stopped concerning myself with all things religious and almost hit hard atheism from how difficult it became to deal with the episodes. But as time went on it seemed like God still wasn't done with me however, as I've been getting this inclination like something far greater than me is drawing me toward it, and I'm fairly certain that's God doing his thing still. Like I described it to another friend, I am trapped in the gravity well of something my greater, all I can do is follow the lead.

But it's probably the hardest thing I deal with when I try and pursue it, my head starts buzzing again, the old emotions come out, and I lock down mentally and physically. I'm trying to face these things, but I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone else with Bipolar faced feelings like this? If so, what did you do?

 

[Babe Ruth]

Slim, thanks for your candor. Is there something specific within Christianity that brings on the anxiety (?) A certain prayer, part of the service, or church building etc ?
A good therapist may be able to help u pinpoint the how & why or your triggers.

Once you start to understand your anxiety it could become easier to manage/overcome. Hope and Help for your Nerves (Claire Weekes) is a classic guide for non-pharmaceutical management of anxiety.
Keep us posted, peace.

 

[Sabertooth]

I find this to be unusual (even with mental issues). Do you recall your born-again birthday?

 

[Carolina Slim]

Slim, thanks for your candor. Is there something specific within Christianity that brings on the anxiety (?) A certain prayer, part of the service, or church building etc ?
A good therapist may be able to help u pinpoint the how & why or your triggers.

Once you start to understand your anxiety it could become easier to manage/overcome. Hope and Help for your Nerves (Claire Weekes) is a classic guide for non-pharmaceutical management of anxiety.
Keep us posted, peace.

I've always been on the antisocial side, not necessarily panic in a crowd but I'm more private than not. Mostly it's just this fear that God's angry at me and that Salvation is for everyone else but not for me, kind of thinking. My poor friend has had to reassure me so many times over the years that's not the case.

 

[Carolina Slim]

I find this to be unusual (even with mental issues). Do you recall your born-again birthday?

There were so many times I surrendered as it were when I was younger due to similar anxieties I couldn't name one in specific for you.

 

[Sabertooth]

There were so many times I surrendered as it were when I was younger due to similar anxieties I couldn't name one in specific for you.

Mostly it's just this fear that God's angry at me and that Salvation is for everyone else but not for me, kind of thinking.

This sounds like a person who has only encountered God as Judge, not necessarily as Savior.

In Exodus 33:18-23, Moses was chit-chatting with God as a Friend. Moses asked that he could see God's face. But God said that he could not. As much as God liked Moses, His Presence would be mortally overwhelming since Moses wasn't spiritually prepared to face Him. (Moses, later, DID get to see God face-to-face, once so properly prepared.)

God loves you, too. Like Moses, you, too, would die in His presence, if you were not properly prepared for that encounter. Salvation isn't about you promising anew to be more obedient. It is about receiving His protective covering so we CAN enjoy His presence.

I am autistic. You don't need to be neuro-typical for this to work. (BTW, my born-again birthday is July 6th, 1977. )

 

[drjean]

((((safe hug)))
If God is calling you to do something in the future, don't worry because He will prepare you very well for it, and He won't push you into it ahead of time. He gives plenty of time for long term plans is what I found...and He is very patient. He doesn't expect you to do something you cannot do. Be at ease if you can, and limit yourself to praising Him for His love...and don't fret about anything else "religious".

 

[Carolina Slim]

This sounds like a person who has only encountered God as Judge, not necessarily as Savior.

In Exodus 33:18-23, Moses was chit-chatting with God as a Friend. Moses asked that he could see God's face. But God said that he could not. As much as God liked Moses, His Presence would be mortally overwhelming since Moses wasn't spiritually prepared to face Him. (Moses, later, DID get to see God face-to-face, once so properly prepared.)

God loves you, too. Like Moses, you, too, would die in His presence, if you were not properly prepared for that encounter. Salvation isn't about you promising anew to be more obedient. It is about receiving His protective covering so we CAN enjoy His presence.

I am autistic. You don't need to be neuro-typical for this to work. (BTW, my born-again birthday is July 6th, 1977. )

I am as well actually, Aspergers or high functioning I think they call it now? Also, now that you mention it the date February 11th, 2007 comes to mind.

 

[Sabertooth]

Also, now that you mention it the date February 11th, 2007 comes to mind.

What happened on that date?

 

[Carolina Slim]

What happened on that date?

Was dealing with severe anxiety over issues again and a friend of mine who's been a long time believer was with me through it, praying to Christ that night.

I think I made a point of remembering the day so if I ever suffered doubt about it again I could look back to it as a night I asked Him to help me.

 

[Anguspure]

Hello all. I made a brief introduction in the Introduce Yourself area, so I hope you don't mind me posting here. I'm not sure where else to really talk about this, my friends know I suffer with it but it's something that keeps coming back to me.

My attention to religious/spiritual things tends to rise and fall along with my mood shifts. I'm currently seeing a therapist and getting treatment, but the category of Christianity just sets off anxiety attacks like nothing else.

I used to be pretty... devout? I guess is the word but after awhile I couldn't take it anymore due to how severe the anxiety attacks would get. For awhile there I stopped concerning myself with all things religious and almost hit hard atheism from how difficult it became to deal with the episodes. But as time went on it seemed like God still wasn't done with me however, as I've been getting this inclination like something far greater than me is drawing me toward it, and I'm fairly certain that's God doing his thing still. Like I described it to another friend, I am trapped in the gravity well of something my greater, all I can do is follow the lead.

But it's probably the hardest thing I deal with when I try and pursue it, my head starts buzzing again, the old emotions come out, and I lock down mentally and physically. I'm trying to face these things, but I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone else with Bipolar faced feelings like this? If so, what did you do?

Sounds like a deeply rooted fear about condemnation to me.
Replace your anxious thoughts with His thoughts. For there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus....
Everytime you feel anxious capture that negative thought and feeling, bring truth and accuracy to the situation and replace the negative thought with a positive affirmation. It might take a while but you will renew your emotions and your thinking if you willfully choose to think your way out of it.
God has created us to be in charge of our brains and in charge of our choices so when other things have taken over it is up to us to regain control and tell our brains how to think and feel.

 

[Sabertooth]

Apart from mood swings, why would you entertain that God has abandoned you? As long as you repent (when you recognize the need to do so), the Bible promises your continued right standing in 1 John 1:9.

Also, Paul wrote in 8:38-39,
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Feel free to add to that, "neither depression, anxiety nor mania!"

 

[Carolina Slim]

Apart from mood swings, why would you entertain that God has abandoned you? As long as you repent (when you recognize the need to do so), the Bible promises your continued right standing in 1 John 1:9.

Also, Paul wrote in 8:38-39,
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Feel free to add to that, "neither depression, anxiety nor mania!"

That's a difficult question to answer, but I'll try to. As a teenager I became rather religious, basically went Christian Fundamentalist after a scary conversation about Hell as a kid. I kept pushing myself harder and harder trying to do what I thought was the right, righteous thing, but over time it just kept bringing more and more grief as I kept screwing it up. It finally fell apart around the age of 20 or so, when I had a nervous breakdown and had to leave college because of anxiety.

It just grew unbearable and the more I tried to shore up faith to face it, the worse it got, until finally I just collapsed internally and basically became a shut-in. At the time I tried recalling verses like 'He gave us a sound mind' to try and settle it, but the more I raged against it the worse it became. At some point I crossed the Rubicon and just basically said 'to heck with all this' and gave up on it. But it's still there, I feel like I'm being called toward something, someone and I just don't have the strength to resist so it's like just being pulled slowly by the arm toward something and just making periodic 'oof' noises when I hit a bump on the floor or something.

Sorry if that's kind of esoteric sounding there, but it's the best way I can describe it. It's not an easy thing for me to talk about, and even harder to put into words. It just, hurts. And I wish it didn't, but it does. I'm not even sure what IT is but it causes me pain.

 

[Sabertooth]

Your description sounds like you think that if you do enough good works, then God will accept you. That is a lie. If you were to never sin again, going forward, and only had one prior sin, that would still be one sin too many to qualify for Heaven (using that standard). And the whole world is in that boat!

That is where our autistic tendency toward perfectionism fails us. We have some concept of what that perfection should look like, but we still never come close to walking in it. To us, it is a type of cognitive dissonance.

That is, unless/until we experience a worthwhile paradigm shift in the matter.* This is why faith is so important especially at the beginning of one's Christian walk. We need to believe that God knows what He is doing even if His ways do not yet make sense to us.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

God's plan is simpler.

1. Justification: God washes all of your past sins away, at once.
2. Sanctification: As you commit your ways to Him and obey Him to the best of your ability, He will change your heart from the inside.
3. Recovery: When you fail in that process (and you will), having those sins washed away, too, and returning to step #2.

Choosing not to sin (with His help) is the better choice, in terms of immediate consequences, but step #3 is there for when we do. As long as we live in steps #2 or #3, we remain saved. If we never get to step #1, we are not.

Suppose you are a Christian that gets tempted to rob a bank (exaggeration).

• If you resist that temptation, you continue in your walk with Jesus.
• If you go ahead and rob that bank,
  • You might end up in jail.
  • You realize that you blew it, and repent.
  • You are immediately re-instated by God as a full-fledged Christian and continue your walk with Jesus where you left off (albeit, now, in jail).

Sin is not the deal-breaker. Unwashed sin is the deal-breaker.

*See my blog post on Perfectionism.

 

[Carolina Slim]

The episode is starting to pass and my anxiety is letting up a good amount today. My thoughts are a bit less chaotic as well so I can try and vocalize things a bit clearer.

I'm hesitant to write out this next bit because I don't want to cause offense, but at the same time I want to be honest with where I'm coming from.

Part of my anxiety and frustrations stem from issues like, if God is Sovereign, then why are we held accountable for sin if ultimately he's responsible for things happening? I already know the scripture I'm going to have quoted at me saying 'and who are you oh man to talk back to god'? It hasn't really helped unfortunately and only serves to make it worse.

I'm aware that's a telling statement to make and would probably make more than a few of you question dedication here, and that's fine. If it's something that can be reconciled by all means let it be reconciled, I wouldn't be asking for help if I wasn't meaning it.

 

[Sabertooth]

..., if God is Sovereign, then why are we held accountable for sin if ultimately he's responsible for things happening?

Like most spiritual concepts, there are two ways to answer this question.

1. In my present walk, I can say that I have a plausible rationale for that question, but I cannot explain it to you as one might explain a math concept or teach you how to drive. Spiritual understanding transcends one's intellect.
2. You are asking a question that requires a paradigm shift to understand the answer. The best thing that you can do is take His clear statements on faith until you are developed enough to better understand what you are asking.

When I first learned trigonometry in junior high school, they gave us a table of values for sine, cosine & tangent. We did not know how they arrived at those numbers. We were just expected to trust them. (I am told that their rationale is taught, later, in calculus.)

I can tell you this much. God does not hate you for being a sinner. But it is a state that requires special intervention in order to rescue you from it. If you were physically drowning, you would have to cooperate with the Lifeguard in order for Him to save you. If you "successfully" repelled Him, you would drown. (And questions like "why doesn't the Lifeguard drown, instead?" won't help your cause.)

 

[Carolina Slim]

Like most spiritual concepts, there are two ways to answer this question.

1. In my present walk, I can say that I have a plausible rationale for that question, but I cannot explain it to you as one might explain a math concept or teach you how to drive. Spiritual understanding transcends one's intellect.
2. You are asking a question that requires a paradigm shift to understand the answer. The best thing that you can do is take His clear statements on faith until you are developed enough to better understand what you are asking.

When I first learned trigonometry in junior high school, they gave us a table of values for sine, cosine & tangent. We did not know how they arrived at those numbers. We were just expected to trust them. (I am told that their rationale is taught, later, in calculus.)

I can tell you this much. God does not hate you for being a sinner. But it is a state that requires special intervention in order to rescue you from it. If you were physically drowning, you would have to cooperate with the Lifeguard in order for Him to save you. If you "successfully" repelled Him, you would drown. (And questions like "why doesn't the Lifeguard drown, instead?" won't help your cause.)

Well, I appreciate your patience in answering none the less even if it doesn't answer much for now. I wish I did understand it, sincerely I do. I am where I am and I just feel stuck a lot of the time in episodes like that.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

B-6, niacin (that causes increased blood vessel size (flushing) ) , C, digestive enzymes,
have all helped me a lot for 30 years. (as needed, not all the time needed)

 

[Sabertooth]

I wish I did understand it, sincerely I do. I am where I am and I just feel stuck a lot of the time in episodes like that.

Talk to God. Read/do your Bible. And make sure that you are going to a Church that makes the Bible relevant to you.

 

[gerbilwoman]

I have this same issue, for me its because I had a traumatic experience at a church and it's considered PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). For me I have found I have to approach religion differently than I once did. For example, I always used to pray by talking to God. Now I find it easier to write letters to God in a journal, which is still prayer but since I'm doing it differently it doesn't trigger me. I'm doing much much better than I once was, there was a point where I would jump out of my skin if I sneezed and someone said "God Bless you", now I have over 12k posts here on a religious forum. Therapy really helped me. So there is hope. You can PM me if you want.