Serious rant/ need prayer

[Shalia]

Has anyone taken Dalmane? <Or whatever its generic name is?> <Do you guys insist on trigger warnings around here? If so I'm triggering.>

And what are the odds of it causing depression?

I stomped my feet and demanded a REAL PI sheet at the pharmacy, and it's the first PI sheet that hasn't had PERCENTAGES on it that I've ever seen! What a load of garbage!

So I'm feeling horrible, angry, and passively s**c*dal, and I *think* it might be the EXTREMELY ABRUPT switch from Restoril to Dalmane, but I have no clue. And I went from 60mg Restoril to 15mg Dalmane, and although I'm *sleeping* better, I'm still DEPRESSED.

I don't *like* depressed. Given my natural state, I normally live in hypomanic if left to my own devices. And now I'm living in "desperately trying to force myself to get out of bed to try and pretend I give a flying leap at work because my hubby just lost his job due to a disability and we can't afford for me to get fired too" with absolutely HORRID mental images going through my head constantly as I sit here.

I've got an exacto knife on my desk <yes, actually necessary for work> and I'm seeing myself hurt my fingers. How freaking gross is that? Why am I thinking this? I want it to GO AWAY! And I'm going to be ignored by my doctors again, cause doctors are too exspensive and we have no money to go get prescriptions anyways and we're in the middle of our deductable period and have no real way of coming up with $2000 for meds before our insurance kicks in again anyways. AAAAACK!

How much freakoutage can I blame on the stupid dalmane anyways? Can I call it Dalmane's fault? Please? *sigh*

And what else do I try for sleep besides "very large mallet on forehead"?

 

[goldenviolet]

God bless you hun. i have no insurance and not on disability. i go through the county and get seen free, and get cheep meds through cosco. the local crisis center where you live will have a list of places that see you free or reduced. i get seen free because i can't get well and am already diagnosed. surround yourselves with support, and except the community outreach.

 

[Shalia]

Ah, I am a vet. I just have to go to the VA. It's just a matter of a "wait list" at the VA. But there's DEFINATE perks to being a veteran at times. Especially at times like "I have a $2000 deductible and we're one income short".

Thanks for the edit.

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Shalia


Sorry to hear your having this problem. The problem sounds very serious.


You don't have to wait for an appointment at VA. Just go in and tell them:


" I'm feeling horrible, angry, and passively s**c*Dal, "



These perks your talking about is a GODSEND to bipolars.



If you are one income short you may well fall under the income requirement that must be met to get it free, but even if you don't all the newest of meds on the market is only $7.00 for a month of a med no matter what it is and they have the newest meds out.



If you need to go into the hospital it is either free or you pay a max of $ 800.00
for a whole quarter of a year which includes all the doctors, meds, tests, etc.



You are not required to pay a dime to get in.



The VA takes mental illness very serious and that is where many of the newest studies are done. You may well be on the cutting edge of the newest and best-est!!



I wouldn't wait. Tell them you NEED IMEDIATE TREATMENT because of your symptoms. Take hubby with you and let him impress them with the urgency.



I prefer the VA over the private sector for mental health care. It is much better!!!



WELL GIRL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET AFTER IT AND FROM NOW ON CALL THEM perks BLESSINGS WHICH ARE A GODSEND!!!



JUST REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you

 

[goldenviolet]

my mum is a vet. 100% disabled. VA can be a long and drawn out exsperiance!

 

[debbee]

HI SHALIA~
Look to the right and read what it says on the little square picture you chose.......that's right, Jesus love me.those aren't just words you chose out of the air. you truly must believe it to be so. I noticed we have a common thing together, november 6. aha, my B-day also, 1959 a few days ago I finally went to the Doctor with the depressing blues and a bit touchy on things said to me, she gave me Lexapro Tab, 10 mg 2X daily. she said woman like this med and I felt a difference right away because I was really blue and couldn't jump out of it. it even took away my appetite, yay! Praise the Lord. I feel so bad for people who really need meds and can't get it, I do have insurance and my husband is a manager at wal-mart Distribution over fleet maintnance. my sister is a r.n also and can get samples which she usually needs for seasonal SAD. but most people can't afford to pay the doctor bill to even get samples which something should be done about. it truly angers me. if you go to a church, go to the elders of the church be annointed and prayed for on all your needs as the Bible in James tells us to. at least for your suicide thoughts honey. or you can ask the Lord to rebuke that thought in Jesus name, remember that power is in that name because Jesus payed it all at the cross. I'm getting ready to move back to ohio where I am from but I may be able to help.I will check on some things. I will be living close to Columbus. until then, Jesus Loves you and so do we!
God Bless you Dear, DEB~I will pray for you

 

[wonderwaleye]

my mum is a vet. 100% disabled. VA can be a long and drawn out exsperiance!

Dear GoldenViolet



I thought about this and had to smile. My thought was:


" BIPOLAR CAN BE A LONG DRAWN OUT EXPERENCE "



I can call VA or just go in and I'm taking care of that day. I haven't found where medical care could be any faster. But the only long part would maybe the first time you ever went.



That can be cut short to one day if you are having a problem.



I feel sorry for the folks that don't have the opportunity to go to VA.



My son-in-law which is a doctor resident at VA at this time told me many vets have insurance and medicare and still go to VA because they prefer the treatment.



The American Medical Association doesn't like VA because they feel a threat to the AMERICAN WAY OF GREED. They are concerned that folks all over the country will learn about this and demand socialized medicine.



Then doctors would have to start working for a decent salary and no longer live in 9 million dollar homes for a family of three.



All paid for by the BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS of the
SICK!!!



This is a rich country where the middle class folks do without medical care because of the system. JUST LIKE THE OP.



ALL I CAN SAY IS, IT'S:


" SAD "



REMEMBER:




XEven though you can't see Him, GOD is there!O
( click on the X and move to the O ) ( then feel who is around you )

 

[Shalia]

Wonderwaleye,

(WARNING: TRIGGER ALERT AGAIN, SORRY ALL. IF YOU HAVE AB*SE TRIGGERS AND CANNOT HANDLE IT NOW, PLEASE PUSH YOUR BACK BUTTONS QUICKLY)

Normally I have no problems with the VA, except they have this highly irritating habit of wanting to hospitalize me every time I turn around and breathe crosseyed. Which gets rather old. I'm already rated at 80% so I can get everything free, I'm not worried about that.

My problem is I'm a 26 year old woman. 96% of the people at the VA are going to be alcoholic vietnam men with PTSD and bipolar <not wanting to sound to bad here, but please hear me out>. My sister and I were severely emotionally neglected and abused by my stepfather who was a vietnam vet with bipolar and PTSD. He used to lock us in closets and bathrooms for the entire day. Our every move would be controlled. We'd be grounded for a month after being screamed and yelled at for an hour for not complimenting him on his cooking of hot dogs.

And even the *thought* of being put in a mandated 72 hour timeout with effectively a bunch of my stepdads <and I know it's a completely unfair thing to assume, but it's... heck, it's just a trigger for me and it's how I feel and I just CAN'T go to that hospital!> it induces panic attacks, it makes me freak out, I can't stand even thinking about it.

Drugs, I have no problems going there for meds. My therapist will work with me on payments, so that's good. But I *will not* be hospitalized there. So when I'm having hallucinations of slicing up my hands with exacto knives and seeing airplanes landing in front of my car while driving <for the record, I was passengerating, I don't drive when messed up> I'm going nowhere near the VA. They see a bipolar rated at 70% and they want to keep me. Period. And I WON'T stay there. I can't stay there. I just can't.

And I'm not buying the concept that they have more recent mental health treatments. My doctor has to BEG for off formulary requests for TRILEPTAL which has been around for over a decade. That's not like asking for Keppra or anything, that's Trileptal for goodness sakes! But it's sure nice to get the ones for free that they will prescribe!

Shalia - currently taking a plethora including: Depakote ER - 1000mg; Trileptal - 600mg; Zonegran - 200mg; Terazosin - 1mg; Dalmane - 15mg; Geodon - 80mg; Ativan - 1mg prn; although the jury is out on whether we'll stay on Geodon or go back to Haldol. I hate antipsychotics.