Serious Question. Met a girl but shes not Christian

[ab8907]

... what can I say to her to make her see religion is good? I have tried talking to her once and it went alright. I really like her yet this is important to me. As it should be. Please give me advice on what I can say or do to show her about Christianity. Or maybe advice on how I can slowly bring her closer to God.

 

[MyEverything]

My best advice would be to pray for her that God softens her heart and opens her eyes. I think instead of throwing scripture at her or something, it'd be better to just be a living example of Him. Be a perfect reflection of Him. That is the best way to bring others to Christ, I think.

 

[ab8907]

Wow thats awesome you say that!! Thank you!! is it ok for me to date her tho?... Should I tell her that its important to me to marry a Christian if we ever got that far or do I not worry about that right now?

 

[MyEverything]

Wow thats awesome you say that!! Thank you!! is it ok for me to date her tho?... Should I tell her that its important to me to marry a Christian if we ever got that far or do I not worry about that right now?

I don't believe it's right to date or marry non-believers. I believe this based on 2 Corinthians 6:14-15. Take a look in the Unequally Yoked section on this forum and you will see that it doesn't work.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Corinthians 6:14-15

 

[GQ Chris]

Well before we start, how hot is she?


Okay.. just kidding. Missionary dating doesn't work.

 

[kevlite2020]

maybe you could just start dating her and hope that magically she turns in to the person you want her to be...


Otherwise, you are going to have to do what you can to remove your feelings from your witnessing to her. If you mix them, it will not tend to bear good fruit.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

First off, always remember you cannot force anyone to believe as you believe. She has to *want* to be saved and have a relationship with Christ. Secondly, I don't suggest you date her until she is saved. Otherwise, it will be a mess for as long as you date her, because you'll have your belief and we're human - you'll always want her to change and resentment may start to happen because she just doesnt want to change. You have to think PAST this moment of liking her. Pray for her, and ask God to take control of the situation and let God work on her. But if she is unwilling to change, I would suggest you move on with your own life. Not stop being friends with her, but stop thinking about having more of a relationship with her beyond friendship.

 

[Inkachu]

You need to realize that you can't make her believe anything. You can't "make her see that religion is good". Faith has to come from within, by the working of the Holy Spirit. Don't try to convert her so you can date her - "missionary dating" is a horrible concept, and usually ends in disaster. What you CAN do is pray for her, and live a Christian example through your life, that she can witness. If she has questions or wants to know more about your faith, by all means, sit down and talk to her about it. Just keep it platonic and friendly, not romantic.

 

[Howard Cneal]

,

... what can I say to her to make her see religion is good?

Why would you lie to her...?

I have tried talking to her once and it went alright. I really like her yet this is important to me. As it should be.

Then you may be forced to make a decision between her and this.

Please give me advice on what I can say or do to show her about Christianity.

That's such a broad topic. She could start by reading some church history, theology, going to church / mass, etc. If she's not into it, it won't have much impact however.

Or maybe advice on how I can slowly bring her closer to God.

She could already be close to God. Who can say?


I hear prayer works well, if you're a praying man. I'd go with that.

 

[Howard Cneal]

I don't believe it's right to date or marry non-believers. I believe this based on 2 Corinthians 6:14-15. Take a look in the Unequally Yoked section on this forum and you will see that it doesn't work.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Corinthians 6:14-15

Unfortunately, in the real world, people don't always have that option.

And where do we draw the line...? First we insist they be a "believer". But how do we qualify that? Then, once they profess faith, then we insist they be of the same denominational affiliation as us as well. Then, after that, then we insist they share our specific doctrinal beliefs too. Then, after that, we wonder why they don't believe precisely as we do, in every other regard as well.

Then we wonder why we're alone...

 

[Blank123]

So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy. - Romans 9

You cannot will someone to be a Christian. Enlightenment where the gospel is concerned is a work of the Holy Spirit. Tell her the gospel, but don't date her with the hopes of converting her. Thats a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Woah, you say nothing.

Either you accept her for who she is, which includes what she believes, or leave her alone.

 

[JohnDB]

So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy. - Romans 9

You cannot will someone to be a Christian. Enlightenment where the gospel is concerned is a work of the Holy Spirit. Tell her the gospel, but don't date her with the hopes of converting her. Thats a disaster waiting to happen.

AMEN!!! QFT

I spent seventeen years married to a woman who wasn't a Christian...and when I finally got her to begin attending church she simply became a pharisee complete with a "holier than thou" attitude and a sense of entitlement. Of course she had these before she went to church but afterward she became self righteous about it.

DUDE...do not inflict that much pain into your life.

 

[Howard Cneal]

I think it's noble that you want to get her saved - which, I assume, is your intention...

Christians *should* want people to get saved. Otherwise, I question their salvation. But the thing is, the best thing you can do is pray, live your life, pray some more, and let your light shine. Harping at her about God simply won't work.

But sharing your hope and faith with her, in a loving way, once and a while, couldn't really hurt. And if she doesn't accept, move on and find someone who does.

 

[Sunset2009]

And where do we draw the line...? First we insist they be a "believer". But how do we qualify that? Then, once they profess faith, then we insist they be of the same denominational affiliation as us as well. Then, after that, then we insist they share our specific doctrinal beliefs too. Then, after that, we wonder why they don't believe precisely as we do, in every other regard as well.

Then we wonder why we're alone...

K, that ^ doesn't happen. You're getting defensive because you like this girl! You don't want to end up alone. Maybe she shows an interest in you, as well. But, fact of the matter? You can't save her. And she may never get saved. Paul talks about this in 1 Cor. 7:16, "Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

I was in your place about a year ago, OP. I was dating a non-Christian, but he was open to Christianity, especially because of me. And basically, I discontinued our dating, and was "waiting" for him to be a Christian before I dated him again. Stupid. Just stupid. It just doesn't work that way. You can WAIT until she becomes a Christian, but you need to back off in the meantime and keep your feelings in check and hope that you're not praying for her to get saved just so you can get some booty.

 

[GQ Chris]

So bad we have it in such a reverse view... "OH MAN WHAT A BABE!!, I wonder if she's a Christian... GAHH... I know maybe I can get her saved!


and the beat goes on..


and the beat goes on

 

[Isambard]

Woah, you say nothing.

Either you accept her for who she is, which includes what she believes, or leave her alone.

This. Noone wants to be someone else's 'project'.

 

[Spirit_Star]

You don’t want to sound like your pressuring her. Perhaps once you have know each other longer (don’t know how long you’ve known her) you could invite her to come to church with you or go to some church function. If the topic of marriage comes up you could voice that you would prefer( will only) to marry a fellow Christian. I do agree with K9 one should accept someone for who they are. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date/marry someone of the same religion/believes. Nor is it wrong to want someone to be saved but one must do it in the right way. Not from the point I want to convert this poor girl so that we might be able to get married someday.

 

[Im_A]

... what can I say to her to make her see religion is good? I have tried talking to her once and it went alright. I really like her yet this is important to me. As it should be. Please give me advice on what I can say or do to show her about Christianity. Or maybe advice on how I can slowly bring her closer to God.

I would advise to back off romantically from her.

The very fact that you are considering conversion dating, shows you are not into her, but more into a version of her that is acceptable to you.

 

[Daisy215]

Religion is a very personal thing, there probably isn't anything that you can say to her that will make her change her mind. In fact, you may end up making her offended.

If she isn't for you without religion, then she isn't for you at all.