Separation grief regarding the separation between my wife and i

[SeventhFisherofMen]

my wife revealed that she wants an open marriage, which if i knew she'd ever say this i never would have married. i am in shock and processing grief, so any prayers and encouragement, scripture or anything that is gentle is welcomed. i have tried multiple times to show her this is wrong and i have tried to save the marriage, now i'm processing grief of the separation. we were married 2 1/2 years and i am 31 she is 32 idk if that helps. i thought she believed in God but she is a very young believer maybe i was wrong.

 

[Phronema]

You both are certainly in my prayers.

I'd just add that it's better you found out this way rather than her scheming behind your back. This way you're aware of it, and know to walk away. That said if I were you I'd get far far away if she refuses to see the err of giving into the lusts of this world. Christ even tells us that this is a righteous reason for divorce. Matthew 19:9.

I'm quite sorry this has happened to you though, and I have been in your situation so I do know how it feels. Prayers for you both, but don't be discouraged. Take refuge in Him, and He will show you the way.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

You both are certainly in my prayers.

I'd just add that it's better you found out this way rather than her scheming behind your back. This way you're aware of it, and know to walk away. That said if I were you I'd get far far away if she refuses to see the err of giving into the lusts of this world. Christ even tells us that this is a righteous reason for divorce. Matthew 19:9.

I'm quite sorry this has happened to you though, and I have been in your situation so I do know how it feels. Prayers for you both, but don't be discouraged. Take refuge in Him, and He will show you the way.

thank you for the kind words

 

[Phronema]

thank you for the kind words

You're quite welcome. I hope I wasn't too harsh, but just remember to take things one day at a time. It will certainly get easier with time.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

You're quite welcome. I hope I wasn't too harsh, but just remember to take things one day at a time. It will certainly get easier with time.

i really appreciate it.

 

[brodav9@thicket]

my wife revealed that she wants an open marriage, which if i knew she'd ever say this i never would have married. i am in shock and processing grief, so any prayers and encouragement, scripture or anything that is gentle is welcomed. i have tried multiple times to show her this is wrong and i have tried to save the marriage, now i'm processing grief of the separation. we were married 2 1/2 years and i am 31 she is 32 idk if that helps. i thought she believed in God but she is a very young believer maybe i was wrong.

I hope this will help your future. Now you can move forward and pray the Holy Spirit will guide all your decisions. With or without a wife raise your hands daily and say Jesus show me your love (literally) ( I love you says thicket)

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I hope this will help your future. Now you can move forward and pray the Holy Spirit will guide all your decisions. With or without a wife raise your hands daily and say Jesus show me your love (literally) ( I love you says thicket)

i believe that being single is a gift. all the struggles of married life i now know what it was meant when Paul says "i wish you all could be single as i am" because Jesus never leaves us, and when i am solely dependent on Jesus who is always faithful, even when we are not 2 Timothy 2:13 then i dont have to worry about being left again. Cling to my Jesus all the days of my life and never get hurt the way i was

 

[Blade]

Praying for both

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

all of your prayers are appreciated and felt

 

[Zandy12]

I'm so sorry for the pain and suffering you're experiencing. My heart goes out to you. I pray that you will find peace. You will get through this.

 

[Merrill]

my wife revealed that she wants an open marriage, which if i knew she'd ever say this i never would have married. i am in shock and processing grief, so any prayers and encouragement, scripture or anything that is gentle is welcomed. i have tried multiple times to show her this is wrong and i have tried to save the marriage, now i'm processing grief of the separation. we were married 2 1/2 years and i am 31 she is 32 idk if that helps. i thought she believed in God but she is a very young believer maybe i was wrong.

I am sorry to hear this brother

it is painful to know that we cannot convince the ones we love to abandon a course to disaster.

I think there are times when it seems we only have the Messiah ... and that is enough, but it can be lonely

you may need to move on from this,and never look back. Not easy, but prayer and determination will be your guide

 

[Lost4words]

My heart goes out to you.

Is there any chance of her changing?

Have you tried counselling?

I hope and pray that you find peace and know that God will guide you.

God bless...

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I am sorry to hear this brother

it is painful to know that we cannot convince the ones we love to abandon a course to disaster.

I think there are times when it seems we only have the Messiah ... and that is enough, but it can be lonely

you may need to move on from this,and never look back. Not easy, but prayer and determination will be your guide

it is true and Jesus has given me the word determination this last week so thank you for speaking Jesus's words into my life. i am already recovering thank you all for your prayers

 

[Christopher Range]

my wife revealed that she wants an open marriage, which if i knew she'd ever say this i never would have married. i am in shock and processing grief, so any prayers and encouragement, scripture or anything that is gentle is welcomed. i have tried multiple times to show her this is wrong and i have tried to save the marriage, now i'm processing grief of the separation. we were married 2 1/2 years and i am 31 she is 32 idk if that helps. i thought she believed in God but she is a very young believer maybe i was wrong.

I sort of feel like you. When my (ex)wife n' I first became an 'item', back in 1987. I was happy. Over the next two years, prior to our getting engaged. She started 'messing' with the two other guys. She said she met on the county bus. finally gave her an ultimatum to choose between me n' the other two guys, She chose me.

While her parents' are ELCA Lutherans, there was a twisted dichotomy in her 'blended' family. She was older than her brother, step-sister, and step-brother. Yet she was treated like the 'Ugly Duckling' by her parents'.

After we got married(1992-2000), she didn't mess around with any other guys. We even went to church weekly. But the importance of being a Christian, and a Lutheran. Meant nothing to her.

She left me a week before her 30th birthday(and 4.75yrs. into the marriage) in 1997. For the next couple months, I was shattered. That was until, my (ex)wife told me that she had always wanted my (physical)health problems(that I have had all my life) to "just go away." It was then, that I decided to divorce her. I had to wait another another 3.75yrs. for it to be finalized. The day it was, I was relieved. My (ex)wife was the one balling her eyes' out.

15yrs. later, she finally admitted, what she had been denying for the past 28yrs., that she did have a disability.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I sort of feel like you. When my (ex)wife n' I first became an 'item', back in 1987. I was happy. Over the next two years, prior to our getting engaged. She started 'messing' with the two other guys. She said she met on the county bus. finally gave her an ultimatum to choose between me n' the other two guys, She chose me.

While her parents' are ELCA Lutherans, there was a twisted dichotomy in her 'blended' family. She was older than her brother, step-sister, and step-brother. Yet she was treated like the 'Ugly Duckling' by her parents'.

After we got married(1992-2000), she didn't mess around with any other guys. We even went to church weekly. But the importance of being a Christian, and a Lutheran. Meant nothing to her.

She left me a week before her 30th birthday(and 4.75yrs. into the marriage) in 1997. For the next couple months, I was shattered. That was until, my (ex)wife told me that she had always wanted my (physical)health problems(that I have had all my life) to "just go away." It was then, that I decided to divorce her. I had to wait another another 3.75yrs. for it to be finalized. The day it was, I was relieved. My (ex)wife was the one balling her eyes' out.

15yrs. later, she finally admitted, what she had been denying for the past 28yrs., that she did have a disability.

thanks for telling me about your marriage. i'm sorry that happened it must have been very difficult. i may have only been married 2.5 years but i empathize with anyone who has had to go through divorce. I'm going through it now and it's not fun. One day i'm fine the next i'm praying and crying my eyes to Jesus. i wish i could give every believer a happily ever after guarantee, but that is not mine to give. it messes with free will and divorce is just the result of the ugly side of free will. I hate divorce, i hate cheaters, i hate sin, but i know Jesus asks me to love those that treat me wrong. Life is not always tough but it is not always fun either. Like i said i hate divorce, sadness and people treating others wrongly, especially in the church it's amazing that people who claim to be a Christian can act so horribly

 

[Christopher Range]

thanks for telling me about your marriage. i'm sorry that happened it must have been very difficult. i may have only been married 2.5 years but i empathize with anyone who has had to go through divorce. I'm going through it now and it's not fun. One day i'm fine the next i'm praying and crying my eyes to Jesus. i wish i could give every believer a happily ever after guarantee, but that is not mine to give. it messes with free will and divorce is just the result of the ugly side of free will. I hate divorce, i hate cheaters, i hate sin, but i know Jesus asks me to love those that treat me wrong. Life is not always tough but it is not always fun either. Like i said i hate divorce, sadness and people treating others wrongly, especially in the church it's amazing that people who claim to be a Christian can act so horribly

I also have lifelong incurable (physical)health issues. Which she treated like a joke. To the point I nearly died.

Since the divorce, I have never intentionally kept in touch her. BUT, My parents' did give her my phone number when, I was engaged to another woman. I never answered the phone after the first time. Then my parents' tried to convince me to talk to my (ex)wife, after my engagement ended. I haven't budged. Because, My (ex)wife cheating on me before the marriage, was forgivable. But when I nearly died during a medical emergency, due to her ignorance. That was unforgivable. I can't take the risk of opening up a door of communication with her. Besides, Last I heard, she has a boyfriend(if he is still alive).

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

that's horrible, i may not have had life threatening health issues but i can relate to my wife not taking my health seriously, but it is much less serious than your instance and i hope while you shouldn't subject yourself her that someday you forgive her, i am not saying what she did was ok in any way, but rather for your sake when you get to Heaven i pray you will have forgiven her.

Sometimes i remember someone saying to write "I want to want to want to want to forgive _______" however many times you need to write "want to" and then every day or every time you are reminded of that person you cross out a "want to" until someday you forgive them. I recommend forgiving sooner than later. But its not always easy. And just to reaffirm you that your life and well being IS NOT a joke and you deserved to be treated better brother. I am sorry and thank God in this moment that you are alive, you truly are a part of Jesus's Plan. Thank you for being a Christian and standing inJesus.

 

[Christopher Range]

that's horrible, i may not have had life threatening health issues but i can relate to my wife not taking my health seriously, but it is much less serious than your instance and i hope while you shouldn't subject yourself her that someday you forgive her, i am not saying what she did was ok in any way, but rather for your sake when you get to Heaven i pray you will have forgiven her.

Sometimes i remember someone saying to write "I want to want to want to want to forgive _______" however many times you need to write "want to" and then every day or every time you are reminded of that person you cross out a "want to" until someday you forgive them. I recommend forgiving sooner than later. But its not always easy. And just to reaffirm you that your life and well being IS NOT a joke and you deserved to be treated better brother. I am sorry and thank God in this moment that you are alive, you truly are a part of Jesus's Plan. Thank you for being a Christian and standing inJesus.

Thank you. The woman I was engaged to. Is mentally ill and, was emotionally abusive during our engagement. But when it came to my physical health emergencies. She didn't mess around. I felt 100% safe around her. So, Forgiving her, was easy.