Separating again

[churchgurl]

Well, she told me last nite that she had made her decision. She simply is not able to trust my motives and that there won't be a relapse in the future. I told her that I was still going to try and pray and that I loved her. She said that there will always be love for me in her. I asked her to talk to a pastor before went final on a decision like this. She said she did and he agreed with her decision. She won't tell me which pastor, which makes me wonder. She said it was someone who knew our situation and had been talked to. Now I'm upset. It means that a pastor I've beenasking counsel for has been telling me one thing and her another, or has changed his mind.

SHe said the counselor was sad at her decision but is ok her goign in this direction. I'm going to try to meet with him today - to ask if he told her this because he thinks I'm hopeless or because her hurts are too deep. He's told me in the ast that there is a door she's refusing to open. I've got to pray that she does open it, and after dealing with whatever's behinnd it she will have the strength to be with me again.

I've got to pray that the things about me that hurt her can change, that God can show me and deal with them in me. I thought I was changing - my friends, my mom and my counselor all said I was. But she won't/can't believe it's real.

We will not be going to counseling for a month or two, just working on our individual counseling - trying to make ourselves healthy. I hope that after a few months of individual she may change her mind. I asked her not to try to get involved in a relationship for at least a year. She said she had no intentions of going looking, but if a male friend asked hehr to go dancing or to eat or for a soda she wouldn't say no.

Please pray for me and for her. She believes that althoough divorce is not in God's perfect will, it is sometimes led by Him. If that is true, and she is truly hearing God, then I feel rejected by God - that God knows I won't change for real. I've got to believe that I'm not hopeless or beyond His reach. I still have a ways to go, and I could easily backslide if I don't keep up, but I'm trusting that my counselor wasn't lying to me when he said I was getting healthier.

If your wife is being told by a pastor that it is okay to get a divorce, this is wrong. God can heal all things. Even a divorce on the rocks. I am going through a similiar situation. My husband left me and my child and says that there is no chance for reconciliation. I am praying for faith like a child. I believe that God will restore and reconcile my marriage. If your spouse is a Christian the Holy Spirit is speaking to her. This is not over until one of you remarries. God wants to see your family restored and He is in the miracle business. He can change her heart. Don't give up. I will pray for you.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Well, I moved out on Sunday, went to DivorceCare on Monday, and she wants t talk to a lawyer together next week - she wanted to this week. She is charging in full speed ahead. I'm trying not to read much into that because she charges into everything that way.

I'm still hoping and praying. Our counselor says you never lose all hope - not very comforting. Let go, and maybe it will happen.

Her mom and my mentor both tell me to hold pn.

I think that my accusations about her with the guy she's been dancing with have pushed her beyond any hope of reconciliation without God really pushing her in the next year - thankfully it takes a year. She did promise a friend that she would read Created to be His Helpmeet and I have hope that she will soften if I back off. I know that I have hurt her and she just can't handle talking to me right now. She has rightfully accused me of twisting her wordds. I can look back and see myself doing it, but I just can't seem to control that right now - I'm was insecure about our relationship.

Now we have none, so I just need to work on me and my relationship with God. All of my issues come from a very low self-image, and my counselor wants me to start meditating on the fact that God hold us - even me - with intrinsic value above and beyond what we do. That I am made in His image and He loves me.

I am still praying, but after talking to a friend and to the counselor today, I can see where I have so damaged her heart that it would take a miracle and a major visible change in me for her to reconsider.

Please still pray, and pray for her business. She is starting a new business, and even if we stay together it will have a major impact on family finances. If we finally divorce, it wil lbe crucial for this business to succeed - without it, she will have to get a full time job and we will have to put the kids in school instead of homeschool - not something either of us wants to do.

 

[Gimpy]

I so hope you two get back together. I also, hope God does a new and beautiful work in you. As you know, your whole heart, spirit and life must be dedicated to change. It is the only way. Change for you and God. I truely believe she wants to see that. Changing for her is honorable, but its like trying to stop smoking for someone else. It almost never works.
I pray God comes in and makes you a new and great man.