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Featured Send Suggestive Pics to Deployed Spouse?

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by HappyHope, Jan 11, 2021 at 6:19 AM.

  1. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Not proud but I have done this when my husband deployed and he requested I email him suggestive pics-nude of myself. I was hesitant but eventually I made two bogus email accounts one for him and one for me and sent him such pics years ago.

    I justified it because I knew a lady in church small group who would flash her deployed spouse on camera while he was in a communication center at his deployed location. He would tell her to do this when no one was looking. Or one nonChristian couple I knew whose girlfriend kept trying to send him dirty magazines labeled “art” (lol) when he was deployed.

    I thought emailing personal pics to the hubbykins was a lot better than what others were up to. I regret it though. I deleted the bogus email accounts and pics years ago. But are they still on the internet somewhere? I’m not famous, so I’m not worried too much. But the thought is very unpleasant. Also, the hubby retired from the military, so deployments aren’t a concern anymore.

    I’m not justifying it and think it was stupid, but what should I have told my hubby back to get out of his request?
     
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  2. GreekOrthodox

    GreekOrthodox Psalti Chrysostom

    +1,296
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    He is your husband and you were keeping your physical relationship together as best you could. IMHO, not an issue. I still have some of my wife's very explicit letters from when we were engaged and we've now been married for 27 years.
     
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  3. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Well-Known Member

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    I do not think you needed to say anything, you can send him sexy photos without taking off all your clothes. Hopefully your post will stop others from making the same mistake, lessons learned.
     
  4. Monksailor

    Monksailor Adopted child of God. Supporter

    +892
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    I believe that there is no dishonor for him to ask you this nor for you to provide such. The means with which you chose to provide it might be a problem, probably not.

    Think about it. There is an ocean out there for him to very easily access of all sorts of experienced "exposers" with all kinds of enhancements who are models and he chose you above them all. He honored your marriage bond before the Lord and man in trying to maintain fidelity in the marriage. It is not sin to lust after one of whom one is married, IMO. One reason we marry is so that we can righteously lust and partake of each other without sinning, not to burn with lust. Sex and lust for each other, as in Song of Solomon, is glorious and God designed.

    The fact that you put it in an email on the internet, well, that is another thing. You put it in an email, hopefully with encryption and one of those privacy/security warnings you see on email from banks and such. But if not, you have removed what you can. I would find a person who really knows computers, life's profession, and ask them as if I am not mistaken there IS a way one can remove all traces. There is computer language one can send out or attach. There are ways that any such you are concerned about can be found, I think. Do not totally delete all you have of such as the data of the pix will be needed to search them out. But if you have deleted all may be "resurrected" from hard drive or better, yet, let your hubby know how important it is and ask him for any copies he may be still holding on to for those times you two cannot be together. I know this might be embarrassing to go and ask a computer pro but ensure discretion and if you can guarantee that is is the only one as opposed to potentially many more is it not worth it? Believe me when you tell him why you did it he will be freaked by the honorable fidelity you and your husband tried to maintain which may make him work even harder to "fix" this. I know someone who could probably help you and he is a Christian. If interested have your husband PM me through your account here or his own. You must first PM me from your acct and provide a password which he will use as others here could approach me saying that they are your husband and there must be a 12 hr limit on this offer. I was deployed in 06-07 to OIF, I can relate to your husband and served from 72-08.
     
  5. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

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    Why are you ashamed of it? You're his wife. Email is not "on the internet somewhere". Assuming he didn't upload them or share them anywhere else, they're perfectly safe. Is there a reason you're asking us these questions, and not him? If he still has your emails, then he still has the photos. You deleting YOUR email account doesn't remove the photos from his end.
     
  6. Agallagher

    Agallagher Slow learner.

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    I do not know.
     
  7. Jonathan1303

    Jonathan1303 New Member

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    You should talk to ur husband about it since you are unhappy ith the situation. Why did you send the pictures if you didn´t feel comfortable with it?
    Bless u
    jonathan
     
  8. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    I’m not too stressed just felt prompted to get feedback on this. I don’t think the hubby has to pics anymore. Both accounts were deleted long ago. That was 5+ years ago. I’d like to think it wasn’t too bad an issue but I heard once something is online it can never be erased.
     
  9. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Not sure if you are married but pleasing the spouse has a very strong appeal.
     
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  10. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Sorry if TMI. I kind of consider this a black mark against me. Also, I feel like the firefly on The Frog Princess, “ We gettin’ to know each other now.” :wave::oops:
     
  11. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Thank you for sharing. How sweet 27 years! Maybe I’m overthinking it. I woke up today with this situation on my mind. Wanted some feedback.
     
  12. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Thank you for taking the time to give such a thoroughly helpful reply. Those email accounts are long gone as far as I know. It’s the thought more than any residual evidence. I can appreciate that he asked me rather than going elsewhere. Part of me wishes I had not went against my inclinations, but part of me is unsure what would have been the best solution. Again, I’m not too stressed that someone would want to resurrect my personal emails to my hubby that bad. The morality of it leaves we questioning though. Maybe the mode is problematic but not the act itself. Thanks again. I feel better.
     
  13. WolfGate

    WolfGate Senior Member

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    HappyHope - sounds like all is good to be honest. What you did for hubby is not sinful. As others pointed out if email to email the pictures are not just hanging around on the web for someone to find. Might be an old archive of emails but nobody is going to stumble across that and chances any hacker would even think there is something worth stealing (think profit) is essentially non-existent. I'm sure he felt loved and blessed when you did that for him years ago.
     
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  14. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

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    If they were uploaded to a website, a forum, a photo storage/sharing site, etc, they could still conceivably be "out there" on the web, but do you think he ever did that? If not, I wouldn't worry :)
     
  15. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

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    No black mark from my point of view, at least. Married people have sex and desire each other. It's normal, natural, God-given, healthy, and great.
     
  16. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

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    In my opinion, no different than 100 years ago when wives and lovers sent their men off to war with amorous letters or grainy black & white photos to give them something to cherish and want to come home to.
     
  17. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

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    They easily could be on the Internet somewhere. E-mail is as private as a postcard.
    They might be on your phone or on his still, too. Which is fine until the phone gets lost, stolen, or replaced. Then someone else has the pics, and that someone may upload those pics elsewhere on the Internet.
    When it comes time to replace that phone, I recommend learning how to transfer the data from the old phone yourself. That way, you're keeping it all in-house.
     
  18. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member Staff Member Hands-on Trainee Supporter

    +995
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    Well, I would wonder why he's demanding for my nude pics if it was me, does he use it to please himself sexually? that's masturbation and in my opinion it's a sin even if he's using your pic. Thank God it's in the past now. There's always a slight risk of your pic being out there, emails can be hacked and you never know if yours was before you blocked both emails. Whatever the case try to put it behind you and any time you remember it, pray that God will erase the memory from your mind. God bless
     
  19. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Back then I dont think either of us used our phones for email. Also, I'm not too worried. Of all the pics available to people online, mine probably wouldn't be ...how should I say this...widely distributed, lol. I'm with you on emails not being secure. I'm more annoyed that I wasn't more careful to begin with and went against my better judgement I guess. Thanks for commenting!
     
  20. HappyHope

    HappyHope Active Member

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    Nah, that's just not my man.
     
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