self harming-i know it's been done before!

[scruffy]

I have been looking for a site like this for ages and this one seems to be perfect. I have been a Christian since the end of 1999 and was going strong and had a strong desire for Jesus up until about 2 years ago when I back slid and started self harming. I really feel that self harm is a sin but it is just on my mind all the time. I'm totally letting Jesus down I know, but there's just this urge to do it, and when I do it i get a sence of relief but then i feel guilty, because of Jesus. Does this mean I'm going to Hell? I know the Bible says once you are saved we are His but I am just constantly sinning. Somethimes I just don't even know why I do it but I'm just torn apart, wanting to self harm and wanting to be loyal to Jesus. Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for reading

Caz.

 

[InvisibleExistence]

Hey scruffy!

I'm not really the person to ask.. I don't know whether you read my thread below but i'm in the same sort of situation to you.

God want to give us his love, and we need to say yes to it! If you won the lottery you wouldn't just leave it - you would collect a million pounds. Well, God is offering so much more than a million pounds. He's offering you eternal life, and his love. We need to accept it.

It's up to you how you do that... but it's time to start trying to accept God's love as a coping method instead of s/h ing. Every time you feel the need, just sit and pray till it goes away and I asure you God will help.

Like I said, I really understand.. please PM me if you want to talk.

Jessie xxx

 

[scruffy]

Thanks for your reply Jessie, it's good to hear from somebody who understands

 

[guitar_gurl07]

hey, i am going thru the same thing...if u ever need some1 2 talk 2 whos going thru the same thing or just need to vent or somthing...im here...just PM me...im praying for you

~Haylee

 

[Dummy Commando]

I just like to say first of all that although i'm a guy i know a little of what you are going through. Whilst i am cruising ok at the moment there were times over the last year that resulted in me becoming badly depressed and suicidal. I did end up self-harming.
Over the past couple of weeks things have once again taken a turn for the worse and have gotten out of control. But... i am not affect as much as i was previously. Hang with me for a bit this will get somewhere.
I was speaking with my pastor who has had the same sort of struggles as i have and during the course of this discussion i came to realisation that i had little or no identity in Christ. My self-esteem was pitiful. The point is that it is not my identity, but rather who i am in Christ that built me up.
For a long time i guess i relied on my own strength - sure i said that i was in Christ, but deep down i still struggled and failed on my own merits. I used to draw my strength from my 'girlfriend', but that didn't work out and when it didn't my world fell apart.
I looked at God, saw how perfect he was. I looked at myself and saw what a miserable failure and i thought how could someone so holy possibly love me. I couldn't see past my sin (this is what i was struggling with) to the love and grace of God.
While i know that i don't have a very good identity in Christ and i don't know how to get one (still working on that), knowing that has helped immensly. I now know where not to look for my strength. Certainly not me.
Repeatedly the bible says that God loves you. You are a child of God. Co-heir with Christ. God works for the good of those who love him. Do you love God? If so then why doubt that God loves you? It is important to constantly reaffirm these things in your mind.
There is nothing that we can do to stop God loving us. There is no doubt about this. He is always there and will never let you down. Ever.

I have yet to work out a method to replace self-harming. Often i harmed myself to punish myself, not realising that in God's grace he has forgiven me for everything that i have done and will do - the sins i struggled with (and still do), the self-harming i did, the unwillingness to let go of MY life and to trust him.
Some people have suggested exercise as an alternative (creates endorphins - i heard they are supposed to make you happy), but i am a lazy slacker and couldn't be stuffed. That's definitly something that i need to work on.

I don't know if any of this has helped, but i hope that it has.

 

[scruffy]

Thanks to everyone who's replied, i'm really grateful and know that I'm not the only Chritian who does this. If you need to talk too, I'm here to listen as well

Thanks agains

 

[Godsgirl481]

scruffy...I want to encourage you...you never let God down. The urge to cut is very strong. When you get that urge...try holding a piece of ice (run water over it first) until it melts. The sting will help that the urge away and it doesn't hurt you physically. This helped me when I first stopped...it has been almost 13 months now since I have cut

 

[TheMainException]

Everyone sins and every sin is vile to God, but they are all equal. You are no better or worse than a homosexual or a priest. "For all have sinned and fall short of God's glorious standard." May I just tell you how much he loves you? No matter what you do to yourself, God will love you the same as he did before you were even born. Christ is just wild about you. He loves you like crazy and wants to spend every moment with you. Even if you bleed to death, he will still love you. here are two sites that I have found helpful....
http://www.geocities.com/captiveinmind/crisissurvivalskills.html
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/mod1_p03.asp

And a great book on the love of God is "Abba's Child" by Brennan Manning. It had a great effect on my life and my pain found new release from the cuts I had once made. I must say that although I never went deep in the cutting realm, I have experienced its pull and the pain, both before and after, and know what it's like...you can talk to me anytime you like...any one may PM me, don't feel weird about doing it...I WANT to talk to you, I WANT to help you. This is a passion, a love, that God has gifted me with. I will help you if it costs me my life...call on me and I will answer you....with love, Lauren

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I don't think God looks down on self-injurers or has any desire to condemn them. I believes he loves you and would love to see you free from it.