self harm-will I ever get over it?

[EB812]

I've not used this before but don't know where to turn.
I've been self harming for 7 years now-I started before I became a christian but still am now.
I hadn't done it for 11 months but have done it twice this week. I can't explain why I have done it-it is just my way of coping and I don't know how else to cope.
In the past I have atempted suicide and I don't want things to get that bad again-I feel i'm on a downhill slope. I'm about to move away to university where no one will know me and I know then I can cut as much as I want because I wont be surrounded by people who look out for it.
i am doubting my faith so much at the moment and I have no self esteem. In the past I've talked to people at church but they're sick of it all now. My family are not Christians which makes it very hard to talk to them.
I've seen psychatrists and been on anti depressants but I keep going back to SI. Will I ever be able to stop?
Please help
xxxxx

 

[scruffy]

Hey there,

I know what self harm is life as I do it myself. I havn't done it for a while now but I feel as if I might one day, so I pray that I won't. It's such a hard thing to over-come and it doesn't hapen over night, it could take a long while.

I guess some people don't understand how hard it is to over-come. I was told by my minister the other day "who's better to help an alcoholic than somebody who used to be an alcoholic, who's better than to help a smoker to give up, than a smoker who has given up', and this applies to self-harm. But also who's better to help anybody with a problem than Jesus Christ to understands all. Only a creator will understand his creation and that is Jesus.

People used to say 'Jesus loves so why cut' etc. To me cutting wasn't about not knowing that Jesus loved me, as this knowledge made me feel extremely guilty. It's about other things in your life. I'm trying to stop at the moment and it's hard because I have relied on a razor blade for so long now that this seems like the ultimate test. However, I cannot go through this without Jesus. He will help anyone who asks and if you like to talk about it sometimes PM me.

YOU WILL BE ABLE TO STOP, IT'S A MATTER OF TIME AND LETTING GO AND LETTING JESUS CHRIST HELP YOU.

If you need a chat you can PM me and there are other self harmers on this site who have given me some great advise; I'm sure they would love to help also.

Caz.xxxxx

 

[katylees]

hey there ...i kinda know wot thats like ..im goin to uni too next week ...stay strong ...keep praying ..i will pray for you

 

[abbygirlforever]

I've not used this before but don't know where to turn.
I've been self harming for 7 years now-I started before I became a christian but still am now.
I hadn't done it for 11 months but have done it twice this week. I can't explain why I have done it-it is just my way of coping and I don't know how else to cope.
In the past I have atempted suicide and I don't want things to get that bad again-I feel i'm on a downhill slope. I'm about to move away to university where no one will know me and I know then I can cut as much as I want because I wont be surrounded by people who look out for it.
i am doubting my faith so much at the moment and I have no self esteem. In the past I've talked to people at church but they're sick of it all now. My family are not Christians which makes it very hard to talk to them.
I've seen psychatrists and been on anti depressants but I keep going back to SI. Will I ever be able to stop?
Please help
xxxxx

I know how hard it is to stop cutting. I'm struggling with the same thing. I can go for months without doing it, but it is always there in the back of my mind. It's so hard to explain to those who have never been there what it means and how twisted I feel about it.
If you ever need to talk, you can PM me. My AIM name is abbygirlforever, and so is my Yahoo name. You can also reach me at abbygirlforever@hotmail.com or using that through MSN Messenger. The best thing I can do for you is offer you my time, attention, and prayers.

 

[EB812]

Thanks for the advice.
This is getting unbearable and I don't know if I can keep going. The suicidal thought are back. I nearly crashed my car on the way home last night in the hope that I might die. I know I need to pull myself together but it's just not so easy.
I feel so guilty and so angry. I hate myself and I'm so annoyed at myself for cutting. I can't carry on like this

 

[beetlequeendiva]

I've not used this before but don't know where to turn.
I've been self harming for 7 years now-I started before I became a christian but still am now.
I hadn't done it for 11 months but have done it twice this week. I can't explain why I have done it-it is just my way of coping and I don't know how else to cope.
In the past I have atempted suicide and I don't want things to get that bad again-I feel i'm on a downhill slope. I'm about to move away to university where no one will know me and I know then I can cut as much as I want because I wont be surrounded by people who look out for it.
i am doubting my faith so much at the moment and I have no self esteem. In the past I've talked to people at church but they're sick of it all now. My family are not Christians which makes it very hard to talk to them.
I've seen psychatrists and been on anti depressants but I keep going back to SI. Will I ever be able to stop?
Please help
xxxxx

Hey sweetie,

I know the feeling, I started self harming about a year ago now and have tried suicide about 5 times. I eventually came out of it because someone told me i have to stop feeling guilty about doing these things - guilt makes you go around in circles, the fact that you stopped for 11 months prooves that you do want to stop - you just have to keep on keeping on!! If you need to talk my email is va_hogan@ntlworld.com or you can pm me on here - whichever. I am also from a non-christian family so I will be able to see where you are coming from!! Hope you find someone to talk to , I will pray for you.

love In Christ xxx

 

[EB812]

Last night I recommitted my life to God. I realised that I was trying to do everything my own way and trying to do it all in my strength-I just couldn't.
I can't say that I wont cut again but God is in my life now. I have a long way to go but I am moving in the right direction.
Thanks for all the advice
xxxx

 

[sparrow]

Well done EB812!!! I know and believe that with God's help you can do it. Praise Him! Nothing is impossible with God!
*hugs*

 

[katylees]

thats great news carry on in ur ways and stay strong with the Lord *hugs*

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Don't get discouraged with yourself when you do cut. You are being honest about not being sure whether you will or not. Like you said it's how you cope. Cutting is a very strong and very effective coping mechanism, and it works immediately. Overcoming that is going to be difficult because healthy coping strategies don't hit as hard and work as quickly as cutting. As you work to overcome the behavior, don't let cutting get you down if you do it. You may lose some battles, but your objective is winning the war. Educate yourself on self-injury and psychology. Learn to understand yourself better. It takes time. Therapy is not a bad idea provided you find a therapist who understands that self-harm is in fact a behavior that has nothing in common with suicide. Oddly enough, cutting and self-harm is something that keeps you going, a coping mechanism rather than a suicidal behavior. Many people see self-harm as simply suicidal behavior and treat it as such.

 

[TheMainException]

It is going to be hard and it is something that you will always have to work at, but you will be able to move onto other ways of coping. keep working on this with a counselor that knows you and stay with him/her. They should be helping you to discover a new way to cope. Here are three sites that I have found helpful:
http://www.selfinjury.com/
http://www.geocities.com/captiveinmind/crisissurvivalskills.html
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/mod1_p03.asp

Also, feel free to PM me if you need to talk. I'll listen until my ears fall off. I won't cut them off either. I'll listen even if you become senile and say the same thing fifty times. Talk on...even at college, I'll still be right here, listening to every word. I've been through the pain of depression...come, talk with me if you need to. With all love God has given me, Lauren