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Self Esteem

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berry2000

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Good link. I didn't get a chance to read all of it...but it seems like it could be helpful. Me actually I know my problem is poor self esteem, i know it is from childhood, I just don't know how to make it better. Or when God will make it better. I guess I know the problem i just don't know what to do about it. I will read through that information.
 
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berry2000

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I do go to church regularly every Sunday and have spoken privately w/ my pastor twice. I also have a therapist I talk to every week. So I am actively working towards these things but I still feel stuck at times. It's hard to talk about the hard stuff and I'm really quiet and reserved and was taught that talking about feelings is never okay or acceptable. So needless to say I have a lot of work to do in order to learn to be healthy.
 
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NinadeDios777

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berry2000 said:
I do go to church regularly every Sunday and have spoken privately w/ my pastor twice. I also have a therapist I talk to every week. So I am actively working towards these things but I still feel stuck at times. It's hard to talk about the hard stuff and I'm really quiet and reserved and was taught that talking about feelings is never okay or acceptable. So needless to say I have a lot of work to do in order to learn to be healthy.
ok, so i have poor self esteem. i think most of us don't need an article totell us that. now waht do we DO about it?

it is a good link actually
 
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2scoops

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It sounds like you have a good grip on your childhood. I think becoming aware of everything that is threatening your self-worth and acknowledging it is the first step. I believe we are all created to be loved and to be social beings. When parents fail that role, and they me totally unaware of it than the child suffers. The child wants to be held, to be loved, needs to be cared for in order to survive. But if that lacks, than the child is left wondering, wha did I do. We view the world that problems that happen are our fault. So we feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxious, we get physical pain, pshycological disorders, etc. These symptoms are a reslt of the root cause. So to get you mind of the pain, we injure ourselves, say we are worthless, etc. This is not your fault, that is a big key to healing. THe blame we have for ourselves, only turns into self hate. We want to punish oursleves. Because of the lack of love. You have to know you deserve love and to be loved. Not only when you do things right, but also when you mess up, ,you deserves love. If you feel like cutting, try and change your thoughts. When you feel like you want to cut, think why do I want to cut?
What is going on in my life to make me want to cut?
Do I feel rejected?
Do I feel unloved?
Do I feel attractive enough?
Do I feel good enough? etc.

You do this becuase you are emotionally hurting. But if we stop to think what is casing the problem, that delys the reaction to hurt ourselves. In a way, your king of breaking your minds strategy. It takes time and awareness and we need to renew our minds daily. Also we need to seek God, He is love, he loves and forgives. But we need to forgive oursleves becuase we don't when we feel we need to punish ourselves. But we also need to forgive those who hurt us. That is a big step toward healing. Reember, your parent's parents we probably the same way. Their behavior was probably the same way. So we need to know there is a possiblity they hurt as well. So we need to not blae them and forgive.

Jesus came not only to seek and save the lost, but also to heal the brokenhearted. Sometime we just need to ask Him to heal our brokenheart. Yuo are loved sweety, and I pray that God shows you His love. You also have people on here who care about you dearly. I love you and I want to see you not only better, but healed so you can enjoy life more abundantly thorough Christ.
 
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berry2000

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When parents fail that role, and they me totally unaware of it than the child suffers. The child wants to be held, to be loved, needs to be cared for in order to survive. But if that lacks, than the child is left wondering, wha did I do. We view the world that problems that happen are our fault. So we feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxious, we get physical pain, pshycological disorders, etc. These symptoms are a reslt of the root cause.
This is not your fault, that is a big key to healing

Also we need to seek God, He is love, he loves and forgives. But we need to forgive oursleves becuase we don't when we feel we need to punish ourselves. But we also need to forgive those who hurt us.

Yes, I totally agree with all these statements you are dead on.

Sometime we just need to ask Him to heal our brokenheart. Yuo are loved sweety, and I pray that God shows you His love. You also have people on here who care about you dearly. I love you and I want to see you not only better, but healed so you can enjoy life more abundantly thorough Christ.

Wow. Thank you so much for the encouragement, the warmth, and the compassion. All greatly appreciated. And I must say...I am on my way. I'm out of denial, I haven't cut in 3 1/2 months, but now I'm in the mucky area where I have to try and figure out those "root" causes you are talking about. So I am asking hard questions, and looking myself squarely in the eye with honesty and asking for God's help and healing.
 
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2scoops

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You are welcome. Sounds like your on your way. If your interested you may want to read a book called Your Child's Self Esteem by Dorothy, Corkville and Briggs. It should give you some insight into those root causes. I am rwading it as well, and it is very helpful.
 
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Gwen'sMom

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I really like the link. I have very low self-esteem but I don't know why? I had great parents growing up but I was so terribly shy and scared all the time. I think my esteem problems are due to depression & anxiety which I always remember having. Does anyone else feel this way?
 
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2scoops

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swingirl said:
I really like the link. I have very low self-esteem but I don't know why? I had great parents growing up but I was so terribly shy and scared all the time. I think my esteem problems are due to depression & anxiety which I always remember having. Does anyone else feel this way?

Was your parents this way? My mom was constanly depressed, I never knew it growing up that she was on medication. It just seemed normal to me. You may want to discuss this with your parents. Also, you may want to search on Andrew Cutler and see what his research has found.
 
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