Seems like I'm on the verge of lapsing.

[Eastern Drifter]

I have been getting caught up in the world. Passions. Vices. Nothing overt or extreme, but enough to really start carrying me out to sea, so to speak.

I'm losing my sense of spirituality. It doesn't help that I can go to church only two, maybe three times a week at the most. During most of the week I'm not around other Orthodox, so it's me surrounded by secular people.

If things continue the way they're going, it may be a short amount of time before I don't care anymore. Please pray for me. Better to be zealous than indifferent.

 

[Anhelyna]

I know this will sound trite - but go and arrange to talk with your priest

This is a real 'Ask your priest' situation . Check with him about your Prayer Rule , think about confession .

Do NOT give up . Remember your spiritual life is not meant to be easy - it is always a struggle , sometimes more so than at other times.

When you fall - as you will since like us, you are human , pick yourself up , give yourself a bit of a shake and start again.

Prayers for you

 

[S.ilvio]

As Anhelyna says its not easy out there in the real world. God knows I've fallen many times.

I wil pray for you ED and please do go to your Priest...

 

[gzt]

This isn't quite my forum, but I would just say that specific passions and vices should be discussed with your priest, and soon, as we aren't your confessors and don't want to know about your vices, nor are we equipped to deal with them. I want to comment on something else: seemingly minor passions and vices, "nothing overt or extreme", seem to be enough to cause you to "lapse", even though you're at church "only" (!) "two or three times per week". Combined with your age, this suggests a certain lack of maturity and depth to your practice - I don't mean this pejoratively, so don't get defensive, I mean that it takes a while for your practice to really get in you so that your boat doesn't rock so much at the first sign of a storm. At your age, it's kind of hard, because you're likely to be around immature people more interested in drinking, chasing girls, frittering away their money, and otherwise wasting themselves rather than developing virtue, seeking justice, chasing after Christ, etc. So try to keep in balance and consciously think developing something at the core of your being that doesn't depend on the weather outside.

And if you do fail or "lapse", whatever you specifically mean by that, please consider doing this: still go to church, still read your prayers, still read your Bible. Christians commit sins. They do it all the time. But it's Satan's work to try to convince you that, gasp, after this sin, you can't return to the Church. I see a lot of people around the 16-25 age range who get into the cycle of, "Well, now I've sinned in some way and I've got these friends and have started onto this lifestyle, I guess I won't go to church anymore."

 

[Protoevangel]

And if you do fail or "lapse", whatever you specifically mean by that, please consider doing this: still go to church, still read your prayers, still read your Bible. Christians commit sins. They do it all the time. But it's Satan's work to try to convince you that, gasp, after this sin, you can't return to the Church. I see a lot of people around the 16-25 age range who get into the cycle of, "Well, now I've sinned in some way and I've got these friends and have started onto this lifestyle, I guess I won't go to church anymore."

^ This!



One story that has helped me more times than I can count:

A monk fell into fornication. From then on, he committed the same sin every day. Each time after the sin, he prayed with tears in his eyes for Jesus Christ to have mercy on him. Blinded by this bad habit, he committed the sin repeatedly. Immediately he rushed to the church, knelt in front of the icon of Christ and said with tears in his eyes, “Have mercy on me, oh Lord, and take away from me this temptation that makes me suffer and wounds my soul. I can’t see your face so that my soul can find peace.” After he said these words and left the church, he committed the same sin again. He didn’t lose hope for his salvation and he came back to the church praying the same way to the merciful God: “You are my witness, oh Lord, that from now on I will never commit this sin again. Oh loving God, forgive me for my past up to this moment for I have hurt You.” He committed “his lovely” sin again. His spiritual struggle lasted ten years.

Behold, the endless mercy of our Master and Lord Jesus Christ!

Finally, one day this monk committed the same sin. He rushed to the church weeping, crying and praying with tears in his eyes to the merciful God.

When the devil saw the persistent repentance of the monk, he appeared bodily in front of the monk and with wrath questioned God saying:

“Why do You accept this licentious and prodigal man who lies to You every day? Why don’t You cast him into fire? You are merciful to put up with him. You are not a righteous judge, but a one-sided one. You threw me down from heaven for just one sin of arrogance, but You forgive this perpetual lying, licentious and prodigal man because he cries before You. Where is Your righteousness?”

Then the voice of the Lord was heard from the altar saying:

“Evil and unclean spirit, aren’t you yet satisfied to lead the world into perdition? Do you want to grasp also him who bows before My mercy? Can you hold so many sins against him that they counter My Holy Blood that I have shed on the Cross for him? When he commits a sin, you don’t send him away but accept him happily. And you don’t discourage him for YOU wish to gain him. As I am merciful and have befriended man, how can you expect Me not to show mercy on him who draws near Me in repentance? I will never reject him until he becomes My heir. I was crucified for sinners and to save everyone who comes to Me.”

As soon as the devil heard the voice of the Lord, he started trembling, unable to move or say a word.

“Listen carefully, devilish spirit, who calls Me unjust. I am all righteous. I will judge each one under the circumstances he is in. Behold, I will save his soul and accept him who recently returned to me in repentance and contrition because he didn’t despair, but rather struggled for his salvation.”

At that time, the monk gave up his soul.

My beloved readers, do you understand how ineffable is God’s love and immeasurable is His mercy? Let us not neglect our salvation. Watch out not to fall into despair.

- Saint Amphilochios

So, like gzt advised you, RUN, don't walk back to church when you stumble and fall. Do all of the things that you know are right, but don't feel like doing. That is the essence of being faithful. Our feelings come and go, but truth stays the same, whatever we may feel about it in the moment.

Prayers, ED!

 

[servant of Merciful Love]

Besides seeking spiritual counsel, you also must make the effort to stay close to the Lord in prayer and reading of His living Word.

Ephesians 6:10-18
The Armor of God

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

We can pray for eternity, but the positive action is still YOURS to make...as well as the conscious decision to avoid those occasions of sin, &/or things that distract/weaken you spiritually.
Praying for your direction, strength, and perseverance in your spiritual walk ~ God bless you

 

[WarriorAngel]

I have been getting caught up in the world. Passions. Vices. Nothing overt or extreme, but enough to really start carrying me out to sea, so to speak.

I'm losing my sense of spirituality. It doesn't help that I can go to church only two, maybe three times a week at the most. During most of the week I'm not around other Orthodox, so it's me surrounded by secular people.

If things continue the way they're going, it may be a short amount of time before I don't care anymore. Please pray for me. Better to be zealous than indifferent.

The good sign is - you care.

Yah, my thread - i have been drifting aimlessly against the storms of all kinds. BUT - i think everyone goes thru the waves - the ups and downs.

We are here for you.
Even if you do it robotically for a bit - things will get better again and you will be stronger. Ebbs and flows - thats life.
You will be ok. And you can stop in my thread too if you like.

 

[JesusIsTheWay33]

I think you just described the effect of sin, ED. I'm afraid I can't give you any solution other than to keep going keep trying ot pray, keep seeking God.

"No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better".

 

[Living in the Light]

It really uplifts me to know that I am doing the right thing when it seems the rest of the world is behaving robotically in carnal pleasures and activities. If you have time maybe you could find a worthy volunteer cause to help others. You will meet some of the best of humanity in other volunteers. Christianity to me is to aspire to do better than the status quo of the world.

 

[Root of Jesse]

Perseverance-that is truly the answer. Jesus loves you so much, don't let the devil tell you he doesn't. That's Jansenism. See your confessor, and really have a heart-to-heart talk with him.

 

[Tomas de Torquemada]

read the dark night of the soul or the imitation of christ.

 

[Fantine]

I think it helps to know that 1) life is supposed to be challenging and 2) you are not alone in your challenges. And I think support groups help in all of life's problems. Your support group can be your Bible study if you share about your life's struggles.

 

[Michie]

I have been getting caught up in the world. Passions. Vices. Nothing overt or extreme, but enough to really start carrying me out to sea, so to speak.

I'm losing my sense of spirituality. It doesn't help that I can go to church only two, maybe three times a week at the most. During most of the week I'm not around other Orthodox, so it's me surrounded by secular people.

If things continue the way they're going, it may be a short amount of time before I don't care anymore. Please pray for me. Better to be zealous than indifferent.

Prayers for you. I haven't been getting caught up in the world but I am frustrated lately myself.

Prayers that God keeps you close & you continue to seek His Face.