Seeking Orthodox Prayers at this point

[ArmyMatt]

What do you do when you know for a fact that a man who has no mental illness can support your family and is holy in God's eyes? Because it is a fact that I'm not necessary and a good man can be there for them and support them. And he won't be cursed like me.

you might want to check out St Tikhon of Zadonsk's life and writings. he struggled with similar stuff, and is one of Russia's great saints.

and you are absolutely necessary. if you weren't, God would not have made you in the first place.

 

[Northbrook]

Glaucus wrote:

>> I suffer from PTSD and OCD, which causes me anxiety...

>> I'm isolating, depressed, stressed, anxious...

Hi, Glaucus, this is Northbrook again. Here in Northbrook, IL, I have been in Christian counseling, and my Christian counselor told me last year, the source of all ANXIETY (German "Angst") is the FEAR OF DEATH. But we are Christians. We are not like folk outside the Church who, when somebody they know dies, have no HOPE. You are Orthodox, I'm sure you know the words to "Christos Anesti," which say that Christ, by death, TRAMPLED DOWN DEATH. Trust Jesus to come and save you.

Hope this helps,

Lambrini
Northbrook, IL

 

[Glaucus]

What do you mean, Michael? I'm thoroughly confused here?

Just that I feel like this illness is a curse on me and my family, and that when it gets bad, it prevents me from being the husband and father my family deserves. In desperation I wish God would strike me down and allow them to move on with a healthy man who can be everything they deserve.

 

[prodromos]

Lord have mercy.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Well, your daughter is going through a heck of a lousy struggle right now, too, and surely you don't want her to wish the same thing for herself, right? Anastasia is going through health struggles, and I sure don't wish she'd keel over so her husband could have a healthier wife, and Rusmeister is struggling in Russia in various ways with his marriage and feeling isolated as an expat, but I don't want him to be taking a dirt nap so his wife can find an easier Russian guy to marry. I could name to you a slew of people in TAW and elsewhere who are going through a ton, but they hang on. Have you considered maybe God MEANT for you and your wife to be together? Maybe your struggles are there to strengthen her in a way you don't understand? Sometimes we receive blessings and grace by having to work through things and by receiving tough challenges. We just don't know. I'm VERY sorry you're going through this. Lord have mercy, may God bless and strengthen you, and please don't do something rash. This will pass. It's a feeling, an emotion. Never let even the WORST emotions and fleeting feelings drag you into despair. Despair is the WORST of Satan's arsenal weapons.

Just that I feel like this illness is a curse on me and my family, and that when it gets bad, it prevents me from being the husband and father my family deserves. In desperation I wish God would strike me down and allow them to move on with a healthy man who can be everything they deserve.

 

[Glaucus]

Thank you all for the prayers and encouragement.