I went from hopeful and wanting to live to hopeless and wanting to die within a couple weeks.
I don't know where to turn. My family feels sorry for me, friends think I will be ok. I am not.
I tried to kill myself over the weekend and failed.
I pray, I read the Bible, I hope things will work out. Each time I get news it looks like they aren't.
Apparently a couple weeks ago I was in a relationship with a man who I thought would support me and love me for the rest of my life. I was diagnosed with depression, started treated, but December has been a cursed month for me for several painful memories. I acted out. He informed me had I not screwed up and ruined things (I read some messages he left up on the tablet he was using and lied about it) I would be engaged on Christmas, which is something I have wanted my whole life and prayed for for 10 months.
He blocked me on Facebook, blocked my number. I am still injured from a car accident he doesn't know about, and have a test for cancer at the end of the end. I emailed him, but each time he replies he sounds more disgusted with me and wants less to do with me.
I don't want to live to see Christmas. I know I shouldn't focus on him so much, but I believed he did care and would always be there. He has it made it perfectly clear I am dead to him and he wants nothing to do with me. I just don't want to keep hurting, and there's only one way I can think of to stop it.
What should I do?
I don't know where to turn. My family feels sorry for me, friends think I will be ok. I am not.
I tried to kill myself over the weekend and failed.
I pray, I read the Bible, I hope things will work out. Each time I get news it looks like they aren't.
Apparently a couple weeks ago I was in a relationship with a man who I thought would support me and love me for the rest of my life. I was diagnosed with depression, started treated, but December has been a cursed month for me for several painful memories. I acted out. He informed me had I not screwed up and ruined things (I read some messages he left up on the tablet he was using and lied about it) I would be engaged on Christmas, which is something I have wanted my whole life and prayed for for 10 months.
He blocked me on Facebook, blocked my number. I am still injured from a car accident he doesn't know about, and have a test for cancer at the end of the end. I emailed him, but each time he replies he sounds more disgusted with me and wants less to do with me.
I don't want to live to see Christmas. I know I shouldn't focus on him so much, but I believed he did care and would always be there. He has it made it perfectly clear I am dead to him and he wants nothing to do with me. I just don't want to keep hurting, and there's only one way I can think of to stop it.
What should I do?

I know it's hard, and you don't feel as though you want to be stopped - but please believe, it honestly won't always feel this bad. If this relationship has ended it's because God has someone better for you - someone who cares enough to forgive your mistakes as I am sure you would forgive his.