O Lord it's really detailed and yes sometimes I actually witness with my eyes spirit in patterns and also outright people's spirits that sometimes wink at me,
Hi Jarod, yes I get what you mean and it isn't crazy, but rather it shows that you have not chosen to disregard or disbelieve the spiritual realm. I don't know if there is anyone who doesn't, at some time, get a taste of what you are describing, but we all have to deal with it somehow.
What I can tell you about this, what I understand so far, is the soul is the self-awareness. That's who we are, your sense of "self", and my sense of "self".. but there is also spirit, and that is a different thing again. The spirit is what "breathes" itself out, as an expression through us, that others will think is our soul.. but consider John 8:34-36, that the way in which we think can be holy or sinful - and that is the spirit which operates within us (Ephesians 2:2, 1 Corinthians 6:20).
Now, what this means, is that if we are of holy spirit, then that is the perfection of love in us (1 John 4:16 - God is love). This means that our struggle is against the world (eg: 1 John 4:4), as there are people all around us who do not have the knowledge of the gospel sufficiently, that they have become slaves of sin - and therefore, they are demonic in spirit.
So when you see that people are winking at you or saying things that seem a bit off-the-wall, these are attempts to shake your spirit loose of love, to get you to follow an idea of distrust - so that if you were to begin thinking in a way that is not solid, then you have been taken captive to think in a way that is not The Holy Spirit.
That's our struggle in a nutshell, to remain pure of spirit and victorious over them.
It puts a new spin on Matthew 15:18 when you consider that the parable of the sower in Mark 4, that the seeds are words (ideas expressed) that grow, and that there is a type of seed that produces thorns, thistles and tares (Matthew 13:27-28).
Now when a person winks at you (Proverbs 6:13), you have no idea what he is thinking that would make him do that, so you are forced to speculate. It isn't likely that you would ask him outright "why did you wink just now?" .. and if you did, you'd probably get some lame answer that is a lie to cover up the real thing he was thinking. So in that way you know that he is of a spirit that does not do the truth. A spirit that is inferior to God. Take that a step further: any time someone is unable to truthfully explain themselves, they are lying - ashamed of what they have done. They are walking in the darkness, and that is where we recognise 1 John 1:6-7 and 1 John 4:18.
Make no mistake about Ephesians 6:12 though, that the struggle is against a personal adversary and it is not the world outside that is trying to bring you down. I know this, because I meet people everywhere who are failing to think the right way of me, and I know that it is not because I have been of a spirit that tempts them to fall, but that they genuinely do not love the truth enough to receive me for who I am and so because they are hating me of envy or pride or whatever sin that made them too weak to think rightly of me.. it shows that the spiritual adversary is able to take minds captive through a person's sin even when the one over whom they stumbled was not of a spirit that was tempting them (Matthew 11:6, James 1:13).
In this way it is true to say that it is hallucination, but it doesn't make it any less real, nor does it really help to understand how to deal with it.
.. so I hope this is helpful to think about, and as you come to realise that deeper meaning in John 10:10 and John 14:18, then you see that He is here with us too, as the spirit of God, who is love (1 Corinthians 13:12).
I am going to sound completely crazy and this is my walk and my shame but I just want to describe two experinces that one is quite beautiful and the other is my shame and I hate myself for it. The first experience is a memory that I have, and it's a prexistence memory prior to birth, and I was standing with God and He was formless yet somehow discernible and He was all loving and radiant and my spirit vibrated unmeasured in His love and presence and we stood there though solemnly looking upon the earth, from a distance in space perhaps on the moon because the earth appeared as a globe. Then God showed me the life I was going to live by flashing images in my minds eye it wa to be terribly hard and God wa sympathetic and loving and gave me the choice to come here. Then my next ealiest memory a part verified by my mom was a traumatic one but I saw God in that traumatic experince in the room with me smiling the same way as He was before my birth. He left these memories in hindsight because of the deep doubt and doctrines of evil I would fight , and I thank Him everyday for doing that truly my faith is weak but God knew that an I love Him forever , anyway my next experince is a long time later a lot ha happened I thought God gave up on me and I became a "atheist" denying the Lor publically but in my heart and at night while homeless I would look up and speak to God , anyway while homeless I wa saved on my death bed which is a experince itself just prior to telling God ," I'm here at the table I get the hints what do you need me to do Father" well you would think after that I would be healed and onto putting on Christ in full but no that's not what happen and I am a disgrace for what I did, satan came himself and literally challenged my faith in the flesh in a magical game of deciet and I cursed the Lord and spat on the beautiful Lamb and I was tormented by every single doctrine and spirit possession had occurred. Anyway and do you know what the Lord did? He sent angels literally to clean me out and discard the possessing spirits and dispel the notions they had succeeded in convincing me of. The the Lord Jesus walked into the hospital room I was in , though I did not see Him and He asked the Angel," what did they do to him" and the Angel didn't let me precieve the answer everything wen silent the the Lord in sympathetic love to whatever the Angel said," ooo man" anyway then the Lord asked the Angel ," does he love me?" And the Angel said in a beautiful cry " yes!" And the Lord Jesus Christ in the most beautiful child like voice immediately said ," Father I don't want to loose this one" and the matter was resolved the Angel told me to not worry over the mysterious questions so much that "you'll know when you know" and that was it, but I say all that to describe just two of my many life long profound spiritual experinces , and I am struggling to protect my love for the Lord and not let evil destroy my inner child and I am often under attack and I cry in shame and I cry when I see the precious Lamb pictures in my heart with child like eyes and what I did, but then there's a notion that what I've done is for some greater purpose that I don't understand , and I'm just anyway I speak boldly in the Lord Jesus Christ because I have seen but even though my faith is weak and I struggle and near the point of suicide and the Holy Spirit told me once two things ( I'm a dad of 3) soms of God don't kill themselves! And fathers don't kill themselves! We are strong! But I don't feel it and I don't know why I was sent here and why I've been in this traumatic life and it hurts anyway God bless thanks for considering me and loving me
It's all very interesting! .. and I'm just not sure that I have the right picture in mind about the angel when you said you were in the hospital .. and it isn't so clear whether you are saying that an angel was there, who was not a doctor or a nurse, or whether the angel was one of the doctors or nurses. If you could explain that a bit more to me I would understand better.
