All these stories you post have in common the notion of what is acceptable gender specific behavior.
I am apparently not particularly feminine in my behavior (according to what people seem to believe is feminine- "straight" people have at times assumed I was a lesbian because of their own misconceptions about gender and sexual orientation). As a child I preferred things people outside my family often insisted made me a tomboy. My mother corrected them, "don't be silly climbing a tree doesn't make her a tomboy, it's make her a child who likes to climb trees" She didn't choose to push dolls on me when I preferred trucks, she didn't insist on dresses and patent leather mary janes when I wanted boots and jeans. When I wanted karate instead of ballet, and wanted to blow things up with my chemistry set with the boys in the neighborhood instead of playing barbie with the girls my mother just bought new chemistry supplies after returning the barbies people gave me for birthday gifts.
I can't stand make up, having my hair done (in fact if it didn't lend itself to people assuming I had just come from chemo I would just shave my head and be done with dealing with hair) I can never understand why transvestite men find such pleasure in wearing the things I consider female torture devices (panty hose, etc..)
Most of my closest friends in life have been male. I don't really identify with women. I was sexually assaulted as an adolescent, quite violently. I did find intimacy somewhat difficult for some time, but I never was attracted to women or felt the desire to turn away from men as potential partners.
I'm a straight woman and find I don't really care for the pursuits of most of my women friends or coworkers. Women tend to find me a bit odd. That's fine. I'm still straight. I had a friend who was a lesbian (she passed away a few years ago after losing her battle with ovarian cancer) she and I were very much alike. We'd had very similar experiences growing up. Our personal interests were supported and our choices generally validated by our parents. She was not sexually assaulted. She didn't find men offensive, or hate them, she like me did prefer men as friends and besides her partner of 15 years and myself most of her friends were men. She took care of her own incapacitated mother with a dedication that reflected their deep and loving relationship until she herself was no longer able to do so.
Other than sexual orientation we were amazingly similar. Her partner on the other hand is a very feminine by current fashion industry standards. Her make up is always perfect, her hair carefully maintained, her clothing always up to the minute fashionable and perfectly tailored. She's a shoe shopping lunatic who drives me to distraction about shoes and pocketbooks (really I don't understand needing more than your work shoes, workout shoes and church shoes)
Having a traumatic experience can certainly effect your healthy sexual development, and perhaps cause children to question their sexual orientation at some point.. but I notice that these ex-gay sites specialize in stories of assault and bad relationships with the same sex parent making them gay, and pointing out how they had to learn to be comfortable being "manly men" or "feminine women"
Since gender norms are so strongly culturally defined it doesn't seem like these things can hold true beyond a few people.
