Hey Booga,
well, the stuff with the sexual appetite is resolving itself. I made a firm commitment not to watch porn anymore or even to touch. It's working out well so far. I don't have much lust left and I'm going to silence this voice even further. It's not such an issue anymore and I have hope about it.
My theological problem these days is that I have issues with the world's evil and the large-scale abandonment of faith in Europe. In the news people praise these times for progress and such, but there is not that much progress after all, because in the end people leave God for the sake of personal gain. That is troubling me a lot because I fear something really bad will come off that for Europe. We have only around 33% registered christians left in the county, and of these 33% probably only a half goes to church and prays and reads the bible and all this. Life in Germany is not hard materially, we have jobs and wealth and social peace in most places. But there is a lot of esoterics going, people just minding their own lives and not socialising much anymore, sexually there's an almost everything goes mentality among the young, etc. I fear that in some time almost everything bad could break up again. I don't understand it, after the Great Wars of the last century, so many people left the church and didn't talk with their children about God anymore. Jesus plays no role in most people's lives anymore, and you can hardly talk with someone about it who is not in church. And now I'm supposed to sing praise songs to God? I mean, I am so worried about this country. I know that in times past there was other problems, many wars in Europe, social oppression, too much economical injustice and so on. Just yesterday I saw a documentary that in the 1800's, musical instruments were forbidden in Tirol by the church because the clergy saw it as too sensual to make music outside of divine services. Now we can play musical instruments, but most people watch the crap on the charts instead of making music themselves. I can't honestly say it's a tough life compared to the past, I don't have to work because I'm sick, I have food and clothing and internet and many other things I need, but I am worried about the world really, where it's going.
Remember that I grew up in communist East Germany. The world meant everything for me as a kid, I thought we'd all end on the bright side eventually, get out into space by the 2000's in full scale, reform the whole planet into a wonderful place, and so on. But it was childish and naive, there are so many issues now. Maybe I was actually worldly with such ideas and Christ has to make this world poorer because when we're rich, we will leave God behind. It's sometimes hard to accept but that's how it looks like here. This world needs a sign from God, something purely from Him and what He wants us to do. There are many small signs and I suppose we just have to believe in God and love each other, but where to begin, what is to be done exactly now? And how can I show Christ to my neighbor to get him to accept Jesus too? And what if I am so messed up in me that I can't do anything right in that matter?
At church today the preacher talked about Elijah and how madly difficult his time in Israel was, and he couldn't do much either. Same for Jesus who at first didn't get much of a following either and who in the end was abandoned by everyone but God. Now we have Christ-loyal people in the world but so many abandoned God. In my own (big) family only my mother is a christian, and she's old and I might loose her any day. And I'm an adult convert who never had a christian upbringing or education, so I have many things where I am lacking. God is my provider but so many times I'm stumped in thoughts and don't know how to go on. I get by somehow but it's hard to see how I should do it sometimes.
well, the stuff with the sexual appetite is resolving itself. I made a firm commitment not to watch porn anymore or even to touch. It's working out well so far. I don't have much lust left and I'm going to silence this voice even further. It's not such an issue anymore and I have hope about it.
My theological problem these days is that I have issues with the world's evil and the large-scale abandonment of faith in Europe. In the news people praise these times for progress and such, but there is not that much progress after all, because in the end people leave God for the sake of personal gain. That is troubling me a lot because I fear something really bad will come off that for Europe. We have only around 33% registered christians left in the county, and of these 33% probably only a half goes to church and prays and reads the bible and all this. Life in Germany is not hard materially, we have jobs and wealth and social peace in most places. But there is a lot of esoterics going, people just minding their own lives and not socialising much anymore, sexually there's an almost everything goes mentality among the young, etc. I fear that in some time almost everything bad could break up again. I don't understand it, after the Great Wars of the last century, so many people left the church and didn't talk with their children about God anymore. Jesus plays no role in most people's lives anymore, and you can hardly talk with someone about it who is not in church. And now I'm supposed to sing praise songs to God? I mean, I am so worried about this country. I know that in times past there was other problems, many wars in Europe, social oppression, too much economical injustice and so on. Just yesterday I saw a documentary that in the 1800's, musical instruments were forbidden in Tirol by the church because the clergy saw it as too sensual to make music outside of divine services. Now we can play musical instruments, but most people watch the crap on the charts instead of making music themselves. I can't honestly say it's a tough life compared to the past, I don't have to work because I'm sick, I have food and clothing and internet and many other things I need, but I am worried about the world really, where it's going.
Remember that I grew up in communist East Germany. The world meant everything for me as a kid, I thought we'd all end on the bright side eventually, get out into space by the 2000's in full scale, reform the whole planet into a wonderful place, and so on. But it was childish and naive, there are so many issues now. Maybe I was actually worldly with such ideas and Christ has to make this world poorer because when we're rich, we will leave God behind. It's sometimes hard to accept but that's how it looks like here. This world needs a sign from God, something purely from Him and what He wants us to do. There are many small signs and I suppose we just have to believe in God and love each other, but where to begin, what is to be done exactly now? And how can I show Christ to my neighbor to get him to accept Jesus too? And what if I am so messed up in me that I can't do anything right in that matter?
At church today the preacher talked about Elijah and how madly difficult his time in Israel was, and he couldn't do much either. Same for Jesus who at first didn't get much of a following either and who in the end was abandoned by everyone but God. Now we have Christ-loyal people in the world but so many abandoned God. In my own (big) family only my mother is a christian, and she's old and I might loose her any day. And I'm an adult convert who never had a christian upbringing or education, so I have many things where I am lacking. God is my provider but so many times I'm stumped in thoughts and don't know how to go on. I get by somehow but it's hard to see how I should do it sometimes.
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