I've been struggling lately with commitment issues, I guess you could say. I have trouble getting close to people because somewhere deep inside of me keeps telling me that I'm going to lose anyone I get close to eventually, so why even get involved...I know it's irrational, but I can't seem to break the cycle. So now, whenever there is someone that might get close to me, I withdraw. It's like the whole idea of love scares me. Any advice?
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scared
- Thread starter EspritLibre89
- Start date
Beautiful Fireball
Tomorrow is another day
I struggle with the same thing, and it is very hard for me to trust people, because the people that I should have been able to trust most have betrayed me. One thing you must realize (and I am still learning) is that people will disappoint you, they will hurt, they will betray you, and no matter what you do it is going to happen. But while coming to this conclusion I realized that if I never open up, and trust people, I will be missing out on so much more. Believe, this change is not an overnight thing and you can not expect it to be. I have ruined many relationships because of my lack of trust and my unwillingness to be open, and that causes me so much pain. Love is a scary thing, but if you never make the choice to experience it, won't you regret it? The only thing I can say is to have prayer, and lay your heart bare before the Lord, because He is the ONLY one who is going to never hurt you or betray you. Just pray for God to give you the strength to jump in with both feet, because if you are afraid you will only regret it later in life. It is not an easy cycle to break, and one that I struggle with daily, so you are not alone. Just pray for God to help you, and maybe try to find someone whom you trust and have them give you some insight and advice as to how you can fix this in a way that best fits you. Because when I talk to the few people that I do trust they are able to help me see what I am doing that is damaging my relationships with other people. You will be in my prayers.
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f U z ! o N
I fall like a sparrow and fly like a kite
"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." javascript: copy_to_clipboard('quote.text');
-- Saint Augustine
i know it can be hard to open up and let love come in but to truly experience it you have to. otherwise, if you don't open up and let someone into your heart you damage the relationship. This was how it was with my ex gf. She would never open up to me, never be REAL, never be honest, always guarding her heart. it made the relationship incredibly hard. i know its hard but pray that God will allow you to be bold and not scared anymore.
-- Saint Augustine
i know it can be hard to open up and let love come in but to truly experience it you have to. otherwise, if you don't open up and let someone into your heart you damage the relationship. This was how it was with my ex gf. She would never open up to me, never be REAL, never be honest, always guarding her heart. it made the relationship incredibly hard. i know its hard but pray that God will allow you to be bold and not scared anymore.
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Nautica
Pleasing to Him shall be my theme
aww,it's not irrational because you're like many people. I tend to not let a guy get close to me for many reasons now.I have trust issues too but just with men.I will pray for you and I am sorry I don't have the answers but the posters above me have some fine advice.
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rodgeam
Regular Member
I'm the same way. I'm also shy and careful about who I get close to/let get close to me. I think my problem stems somewhat from the way I was brought up though (no one in my family hugs or anything; I've never even heard the words I love you come from anyone in my family). I'm trying hard to overcome this now and I have several close friends of both sexes. I still run the second a guy tries to come too close to my heart though.
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