Scared

[PuppyforChrist]

So yesterday I was working on some college preperation stuff and I started talking to myself about how my closet was filled to the brim of college dorm stuff already and I couldn't wait to leave so it would be empty. (I have a small closet)

It was then that everything just hit me.. I'm going to college.. I'm going to a place where I know just about no one.. I'll be three hours away from home and won't be able to come home any time I want to... I won't see any of my high school friends until the next summer or vacations, or in some cases never again...

I was hit with questions in my head like, what if I can't make new friends? I AM a VERY shy person, and although I still made friends in high school being that way, it won't work in college. What if my suggestions for the college newspaper that I want to join are shot down? What if I can't find a job there so I can make money? What if my parents won't let me have a computer for college? (They are still debating on it)

And the big question: "What if they reject me because of my final transcript???" The reason I asked this was because if I fail my final for my psychology class next month, I will end up with a D/C- in the course, and if that happens, I know the college will reject me. I'm terrified I will get a letter in the mail saying "too bad you can't go here anymore."

I'm really excited about college and I can't wait to go, but I guess it was yesterday that it really hit home for me.

I am going to college.

It is almost like I didn't realize it before now. And now I'm really scared and getting myself all worked up about it. Especially that final transcript.

Do any of you college people have any advice for me on how to deal with my anxiety about college? You guys just wait until August. Then I'll be posting all kinds of things here like this. So much I'll be having a nervous breakdown.

What do you guys think I should do?

 

[BlackSaab52]

I got done with my first year of college a couple of weeks ago. I didn't think about what college would be like that much until right after my parents left after they had helped me load my stuff into my room at the beginning of the semester. I was completely terrified! I only knew two people there, and I didn't even know them very well. I had no idea what my roommate would be like. I was afraid that all the people on my floor would be potheads or heavy drinkers. I thought that all the people there would hate me.
I'm a pretty shy person myself, but I started to learn how to socialize (even though I still have a long way to go). I graduated high school with only 24 people in the class, so I wasn't used to being around so may people. I would recommend that when you get there, you should find some Christian group to be involved with. I made a lot of my friends at the Baptist Student Union. You might want to look at the website for your school and see if they have some type of Lutheran fellowship.

 

[none the wiser]

Hmm...it didn't hit me until a couple of weeks into college, to tell you the truth...I'm a slow mover at everything I guess

Ok I'll take your questions one at a time, cause my brain works that way

what if I can't make new friends? I AM a VERY shy person, and although I still made friends in high school being that way, it won't work in college.

I am also a very shy person, and also the type of person that won't just go out and meet people. My school houses about 1000 students, the classes are small so there isn't much opportunity to meet people. My best friend at college turned out to be my suitemate. Your best bet for meeting people will probably be your dorm, IMO. Also, might I suggest using thefacebook.com, as soon as you get your college email. It helps you meet people, and make new friends who have your same interests or classes. FCA is also a great way to meet other christians, and my school had Bible studies, especially for freshman girls (flyers posted in the dorm). Trust me, friends isn't something you need worry about...just think, most people are in the exact same boat as you, and might not be as shy College also isn't as clique-y, everyone is encouraged to be themselves, and most people are very accepting...something I enjoyed

What if my suggestions for the college newspaper that I want to join are shot down?

Don't know anything about that really, sorry....

What if I can't find a job there so I can make money?

Don't sweat it, look for a workstudy program. Basically, the college sets you up with a job on campus, and you get to set your hours according to your study schedule. If you can't find that, you will probably be able to find something off campus to do

What if my parents won't let me have a computer for college?

Talk them into it. Seriously, most of my schoolwork is on the internet, and the lab computers aren't available. If they are worried about the cost, then either tell them you'll pay for part of it, or get one of the student discount ones. Dell offers a student discount over the summer. If the school didn't give you a minimum system requirements recommendation, I can try to dig up mine for ya.

"What if they reject me because of my final transcript???" The reason I asked this was because if I fail my final for my psychology class next month, I will end up with a D/C- in the course, and if that happens, I know the college will reject me. I'm terrified I will get a letter in the mail saying "too bad you can't go here anymore."

Is there a great chance you'll fail? The only thing I can tell you is just to study hard, because I'm almost positive they won't turn you away...that rarely happens that they just get rid of you like that, after you've been accepted, partially because they base it on final GPA. I don't know what college you're going to, so the standards might be harder there...still, I've never heard of a college turning someone away for their final transcript containing a C-.

As for recommendations for what to do, just prepare yourself. Like get everything ready, ask questions (which you are already doing ) Pray alot! Maybe keep a journal, with your feelings....I know that helps me. Make sure you have stuff for your dorm, but don't overpack hehe. It's a freshman tendency, and one I definitely gave into first year Feel free to PM me any questions, and don't stress! College is fun, I promise, even for me, being the shy perfectionist that I am.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

It's all good.
Just ride the wave.

 

[lilredheadangel]

it will be ok i just finished my first year of college and it wasn't that bad. it was a lot of fun and a new experience and i made some new friends. i am also very shy. but a lot of people are in the same situation and don't know anyone at the school.
where are you going to school???

 

[Quantum_Man]

What do you guys think I should do?

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I felt the same way before going to college for the first time. I was also very shy and worried about making new friends. However after 1 semester only I had more friends than I could count on my hands and feet. Most of them were from the Christian club I joined associated with InterVarsity. God was watching out for me and provided big time for me when I was feeling inadequate and scared. Trust him and he will provide.

 

[PuppyforChrist]

where are you going to school???

I'm going to Lock Haven University

Thanks everyone. I'll keep your comments and suggestions in mind.

I get anxious and scared very easily as you can tell. I worry a great deal about stuff. So thanks everyone.

 

[none the wiser]

Haha me too...honestly, it helps to talk your worries out. Keep us updated on how it goes You'll be in our prayers....

 

[john14v6]

I entering my third year at UF....my advice, get plugged in....school can be rough...life can be hectic...but the Lord will send the most incredible people who will be there through thick and thin....I was shy when I got to UF...but I made the decision to go to a welcome activity that a campus Christian organization was putting on...I met a ton of amazing people who shared my passion for the Lord and now I have a community here, a church, that rocks....don't be afraid....there are people out there who genuinely want to love you for who you are. As far as the college newspaper and finding a job....trust that the Lord will have you doing what is right for you....I'm still trying to get a job...but my finances are fine...I don't know how...but the Lord provides...it may not be easy...but I have the Lord and brother's and sister's in Christ that love me and that I love....and they all keep me sane and grounded.

 

[Kasia]

Honestly, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. How do I know? Because I went through the same exact phase right before I left for college (I'm just finishing up my 2nd year now). My main concern was the whole friends situation... I wouldn't know anybody up there, I don't make friends very easily, I'm shy, etc. All those sound familiar to me. The thing you have to keep in mind though is that nobody up there knows anyone. Everyone goes in with a clean slate. It may seem during the first couple days that some people went there with friends already (true, some of them might have been friends from high school), but they are likely just going around trying to get to know people because they're in the same situation you are in. You think you're shy, eh? You should take a peek at me then. But during your first week there I was you to promise me that you'll swallow your shyness and you'll introduce yourself to everybody you cross paths with. Even if they don't seem like the type of people you'd ever want to be friends with, introduce yourself (you'd be surprised as to how different people are than what they seem). And don't tell me that you can't, because you can! I was scared half to death when I did it, but I did and I am very thankful that I did. I met two of my closest friends on my very first night in the dorm when I made myself go around to every single room and introduce myself. This is one of those things where you cannot let yourself down, you have to swallow the shyness and break out of your shell. It'll be the most rewarding experience of your life.

I doubt that they'll drop you because of you final transcript unless you get straight D's and F's. One C or D will not be enough. So that is the last thing you should be worried about.

It may seem like leaving for college is putting an end to a life you've always known, and it's true, but you have to see it this way: it's a brand new chapter of your life. You get to go to a school where nobody knows you so you can be anything you want to be. Back in your high school people knew you to be a certain person and even as you personally grew others may not have seen it and still think of you as the same person, once you get to college you get to let the real you shine. Also you'll make a whole new group of friends, you'll learn loads (book-wise and life-wise), you'll make a billion memories (especially if you spend your first year in a dorm), you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll participate in crazy school activities, and you'll end up feeling very comfortable in your own skin. Like I said, going away to college is one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime. Just go in with a positive, open mind and you'll be okay, kid =P

Best of luck to ya and God bless!

 

[bliz]

My daughter is somwehat shy (until she gets to know people) and she goes to a college 1500 miles from home. I saw her in late Feburary, and I will next see her again in November. She is at a non-Christian college (after 13 years at a small Christian school) in a major city, where there are no classes on Fridays and partying is a HUGE part of campus life.

But she is exactly where God wants her to be. There have been tough times, and great times and boring times. She has made freinds with Christians, flaming homosexuals, Muslims and pagans. She has grown spiritualy, big time! Her prayer life has grown most of all. There are days when it is awful, and days when it is wonderful - though the wonderful days are becoming more numerous.

There is no better place to be, ever, than where God wants yo to be. If that is settled, than follow His lead!

 

[DailyBlessings]

I can identify with the feeling completely. It hit me as my parents were driving away, leaving me stranded in the new life I had chosen for myself 1000 miles away from everyone I knew.

But the best advice I can give you is to agree with Mr Cheese: Ride the wave. Embrace this new individuality, it may be the last time you really have the chance to reinvent yourself, to become like the person you wish to be. Go with the flow, never turn down an opportunity for a new experience, and remember that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. If you start to get lonely, get involved- every campus has dozens of clubs and student organizations devoted to everything under the sun, and they are excellent places to make new friendships.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Puppy4christ,

I went to college 14 hours away from home, where I knew not a soul. By Christmas break I loved it and by summer break, I didn't want to leave.

You will make friends. First, you are about to meet other college freshmen who are just like you - ready to make friends. You will meet people in the dorm, in your class (study groups), at church...really anywhere.

You will need a computer at college. To help convince your parents, go online and look at your univerisities handbook and recommended curriculm for freshmen, pointing out the classes that you plan to take. Then just explain to them why you will need a computer in order to be successful in those classes. My dorm also had a computer lab, but it was always crowded and plus around mid-terms and finals time, you couldn't even get in.

Regarding employment, see if you qualify for work-study. If you don't, find an on-campus job. Once all the work study students have taken their jobs, any unfilled openings were then available to all students (check with your univeristy's financial aid office for their policies). The best job in college I had was as a photographer for the univeristy newspaper.

As other had said, just hold on tight to the Word of God (because college does offer lots of temptations), relax, do your best, and HAVE FUN!

 

[Hope_0004]

I agree... you'll do great. Just take the summer to prepare yourself.

 

[seamstressfortheband]

Don't worry about it. All the stuff you're scared about will likely work itself out within the first few weeks, and soon you're probably going to be ridiculously happy to be there, and when summer comes, you're probably gonna be sad to leave. Just keep your options open, don't write anybody off as being your friend, b/c the people you aren't initially drawn to might wind up being your best friends. As for getting settled, however many people are in your freshmen class, that's how many other people are going to be in the same situation as you are. People are going to be open and receptive to making new friends, because it's not likely that everyone is going to be able to bring their friends from home to school with them as a social security blanket. They're going to be looking for friendship, so it's likely you won't have to work too hard at that. Other things that you're worried about will work themselves out too. Just remember to pray and stay focused.

 

[MetalBlade]

Enjoy your summer and time you have left with friends and family. It's no use worrying about your transcrpit until it happens, or doesn't. If worse comes to worse and you don't get accepted into the college you want, go to a community college for a semester until everything gets figured out. I know it is easy to worry about these things, but just relax and everything will be fine!

 

[PuppyforChrist]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all the advice. I do plan to use the summer to help me prepare. I'm pretty much going to use the entire summer to help me prepare really. I'm not waiting till the last minute to get stuff together like I do before my years at high school anymore that's for sure.

Graduation is this Friday, so I have that to look forward to at least.

 

[Cordy]

I can relate to how you feel. I often get anxious and worried. It is something I really struggle with. But it is really not worth it. No matter what happens, worrying will not change the outcome. Just take each day as it comes and trust God will be with you and guide you throughout.

I have been to 3 different colleges/universities, and each school, and each school year for that matter, has been very different. You have to learn to just take your situations as they come, and look for the best way you can approach and glorify God in them.

You said you are shy. Perhaps this is an opportunity to get out of your shell. Remember that there are 100s of first years out there with you who don’t know anyone, and are trying to make friends. Jump in there and be friendly, even if it hard. Remind yourself to be comfortable, and focus on trying to show friendliness and love to other people rather than focusing on what they think of you. This could be a good growing experience for you in this area.

Talk to people who sit beside you in class. I have been to the very small to the very big in school and class sizes. Sometimes I see people in a couple of my classes, and sometimes I only see them once. No matter what, I try to talk to whomever I sit beside. I talk about our readings, the weather, where I come from, where they come from, what they want to do with their education, what they think of the course, etc. I just try to get conversation going with them. You never know which of these people might end up being a friend.

Join some clubs. Extracurricular activities are important. I don’t know if your school is Christian or not. If it is not Christian, it is might be a good to join a group like campus crusades or a Bible study. This will allow you to hang out with other believers and provide an opportunity to make friends.

Find a good church, and join a college-and-careers-type group. If you can find a good college and careers group, it can really help you find a good group for support and encouragement as well as Christian friends.

And if you end up not going away to school this year, it is not a huge deal either. I was planning on going to away to college my first year out of high school, and it didn’t end up working out. I was very sad and didn’t know what was ahead of me. I ended up having a wonderful year. I ended up staying home, enrolling in community college, meeting one of the best friends, and saving a bunch of money from working and staying at home for my future education. I am so glad it worked out the way it did.

Every time you worry, take that thought and say “I give this concern to you, Lord, and I know you will take care of me”. Remember that all things work together for those who love Him.

 

[Alenci]

[BIBLE]Matthew 6:34[/BIBLE]

It's frightening; believe me, I know. Don't worry... trust God in everything. I'm sure that you will fit in, and God will bring some awesome people into your life to be your friends... as long as you don't shut them out! And I'm pretty sure you can find a job; most college hire people to work in the residence halls, or in libraries, or other places on campus, and if you can't find a job there there may be one in the city or town your college in is...

 

[ABOOT03]

I agree with what most have said, I got a 1.74 gpa my first year in college which was last year, and they still let me back in, they will probably just put you on academic parole or something like that. The school I was going to required a 3.5 to stay, so I missed the mark by a mile, and got the same GPA for two semesters all becasue of calculus, and social science, they really shouldn't car too much about a grade that wasn't meant to be.