Scared to Find Help

[AnaSnow]

I have been in denial about the seriousness of my eating problems for a long time. Since I was about twelve years old, I have had a bad self-image (I think it started before then, but that is when it reached its peak). My weight has always been something that's bothered me. My family doesn't help. My mom and older sister insist on pointing out the changes in my weight. Whenever I gain weight, they let me know and they say it with such negativity in their voices. When I lose weight they make me feel like I've accomplished something great. Thus, I'm constantly trying to lose weight, but I don't do it in a healthy way. Due to some limitations I have, typical exercise is not an option for me. So, I wind up skipping meals or not eating for days. Then, I just stuff my face with lots of junk and feel like throwing up. I haven't gotten to the purging stage yet, but I think things have gone far enough. I want to talk to someone, but I'm scared, terrified. I don't even know what I would say. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks.

 

[shoutuntogod]

My prayers go out to you. I've had an eating disorder for over four years without anyone really knowing until a few weeks ago when I told my youth pastor. It sort of just came out during a conversation, and as soon as I said it I started berating myself. But I think God planned for that all to happen, and telling one person is the first step on a long road to recovery. I encourage you to tell someone who is close to you. If you've had negative experiences with your mother and sister regarding your weight, maybe you should hold off from telling them and seek some help from a pastor or friend first. I know for me, anyway, telling my parents will be the hardest part, and I have to work up the courage and ask for God's help to get to that stage.

I believe God has all the power to heal us of our eating disorders once we give it over to Him. That part is just so hard though. I wish you the best on your journey. Also, I want to tell you that you never want to get to the purging stage, because it is hard to turn back. I have been purging for a couple years now, and I know that this is complicating my health. It's not irregular to see blood anymore - I almost expect it. Please don't get started on that path because it will make your future recovery ten times harder.

God bless & take care.

 

[AnaSnow]

My prayers go out to you. I've had an eating disorder for over four years without anyone really knowing until a few weeks ago when I told my youth pastor. It sort of just came out during a conversation, and as soon as I said it I started berating myself. But I think God planned for that all to happen, and telling one person is the first step on a long road to recovery. I encourage you to tell someone who is close to you. If you've had negative experiences with your mother and sister regarding your weight, maybe you should hold off from telling them and seek some help from a pastor or friend first. I know for me, anyway, telling my parents will be the hardest part, and I have to work up the courage and ask for God's help to get to that stage.

I believe God has all the power to heal us of our eating disorders once we give it over to Him. That part is just so hard though. I wish you the best on your journey. Also, I want to tell you that you never want to get to the purging stage, because it is hard to turn back. I have been purging for a couple years now, and I know that this is complicating my health. It's not irregular to see blood anymore - I almost expect it. Please don't get started on that path because it will make your future recovery ten times harder.

God bless & take care.

Thanks so much for your prayers. I have only told one other person, besides everyone who reads this thread. I know I need to tell someone who can give me constant support. I'm just not sure who to turn to or if they will be able to help me. I don't want to be judged or for any of my friends to see me any differently. I do not want them to think I'm weak. I don't want to feel weak.

 

[madison1101]

From all I can tell, you do have an eating disorder. You need to find help with it. The binge/starve cycle is very damaging to your body.

Go to your family doctor and discuss it with her/him. Get a complete physical, including blood work. Ask for a referral to a therapist or treatment center.

I have been in therapy for a while and in treatment as well. There is nothing to be afraid of. The people who work with eating disordered patients are very kind and helpful.

Hugs and prayers.
Trish

 

[AnaSnow]

From all I can tell, you do have an eating disorder. You need to find help with it. The binge/starve cycle is very damaging to your body.

Go to your family doctor and discuss it with her/him. Get a complete physical, including blood work. Ask for a referral to a therapist or treatment center.

I have been in therapy for a while and in treatment as well. There is nothing to be afraid of. The people who work with eating disordered patients are very kind and helpful.

Hugs and prayers.
Trish

I have a problem with just going to any therapist. I would really like to talk to someone who has the same beliefs I do. As for going to my doctor, I am afraid. He is pretty friendly with my mom and despite the confidentiality policy, he may tell her. I'm not ready for her criticism or judgement.

 

[madison1101]

You are an adult. Go to a doctor of your own choosing, if you fear a break of confidentiality.

There are therapists that believe as you do. When you call to make the appointment, you can ask. Otherwise, during the initial meeting, you can discuss your concerns about beliefs. I see a secular therapist. He does not tell me what he believes, and supports me in my beliefs. In fact, he challenges me to exercise my faith.

Working with a therapist is like starting a working relationship with a coach. This person's goal is to help you achieve your goal of self-improvement in decreasing your eating disordered behaviors. They are not there to criticize but to challenge. They are there to cheer you on when you are doing well, and help you pick yourself up when you fail.

I am soon to be a licensed social worker and am trained in psychotherapy. I have done therapy with severely mentally ill patients as well as addicts and alcoholics. I have also been in therapy for a while. Believe me when I say that you are totally safe.

 

[AnaSnow]

You are an adult. Go to a doctor of your own choosing, if you fear a break of confidentiality.

There are therapists that believe as you do. When you call to make the appointment, you can ask. Otherwise, during the initial meeting, you can discuss your concerns about beliefs. I see a secular therapist. He does not tell me what he believes, and supports me in my beliefs. In fact, he challenges me to exercise my faith.

Working with a therapist is like starting a working relationship with a coach. This person's goal is to help you achieve your goal of self-improvement in decreasing your eating disordered behaviors. They are not there to criticize but to challenge. They are there to cheer you on when you are doing well, and help you pick yourself up when you fail.

I am soon to be a licensed social worker and am trained in psychotherapy. I have done therapy with severely mentally ill patients as well as addicts and alcoholics. I have also been in therapy for a while. Believe me when I say that you are totally safe.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

 

[-MaRyy*]

aww darling i know how yu feel in a way .. wen i was 13 i was seriously depressed and i stopped eating normally ... i ended up destroying my eating habits and now that im older i never have an appetite and im starting to become unhealthy because im lacking certain vitamins and what not .. anyways yu need to tell someone before yu have the same problem .. start by telling God and see who he leads you too
take care love

 

[AnaSnow]

i know that my eating issues derive from a lot of other problems. This is what worries me most. I don't know if I'm ready to let someone in on such personal matters.

 

[chaelsworld0o]

Miss AnaSnow... It's awesome that you are recongizing that this has gotten out of hand. That means that the devil is loosing his grip. Listen to the holy spirit.

I've had an eating disorder since I was 11 or 12 just like you. But this year, I was at a breaking point and I knew I had to do something.

God is awesome and he will deliever you completely from this problem. You need to believe and actually let go of it.

Since this is pretty much all you've known how to cope with your problems, it may seem sooooo hard. It is, very. It's like "Well... what now!?"

The devil wants you to think that you can never get rid of it and you'll always be under the bondage of this eating disorder... but that's NOT TRUE.

God is the answer, and I think you know that.

Just tell someone that is important to you. You'll feel better. You don't neeed to stay in a cage forever, sweetie.

It's not worth it to be forever held down.

I'm praying for you girl!

 

[bumblebee62331]

i know that my eating issues derive from a lot of other problems. This is what worries me most. I don't know if I'm ready to let someone in on such personal matters.

Sometimes it's the only choice we have. Well, you do have two choices - to ask for help and to try to manage it on your own. How hard will it be to manage it on your own. You need to talk to someone. Psyciatrists and doctors are trained properly and they know about the doctor-patient confidentiality. You are an adult. Everything is private. Trust me, they will always have heard things worse or more personal than your own problems.

You need this help.

Are you scared of getting help because of criticism and sharing personal things? Or are you scared because they might actually help you recover?

I don't say that to be mean - in fact, that's what I am struggling with right now. I realised after years of refusing to seek help, that I am scared simply because they might actually help me to recover and I'm not sure I want that.

 

[AnaSnow]

Are you scared of getting help because of criticism and sharing personal things? Or are you scared because they might actually help you recover?

Wow, your words really impacted me. Maybe you're right. This is my way of coping and if it no longer exists, how will I cope? I've decided to write an e-mail to a friend of mine. She is a bit older than me and I've known her for several years. I have been praying and this is the person God is leading me to. Thank you all for responding to this thread.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Wow, your words really impacted me. Maybe you're right. This is my way of coping and if it no longer exists, how will I cope? I've decided to write an e-mail to a friend of mine. She is a bit older than me and I've known her for several years. I have been praying and this is the person God is leading me to. Thank you all for responding to this thread.

I'm so glad I could help you, even in a small way.

If you ever want to talk, I am here. My PM box is always open.

 

[bumblebee62331]

AnaSnow,

Just popping by to see how you are. Please drop me a PM if you don't want to reply on here. I was just thinking of you.

<3 Kate

 

[AnaSnow]

Things aren't getting better. My mom told me I'm gaining weight and all my efforts just came crashing down on me. I did reach out to a friend, but I guess I should find someone professional. I just don't know if I'm ready for this.

 

[bumblebee62331]

Things aren't getting better. My mom told me I'm gaining weight and all my efforts just came crashing down on me. I did reach out to a friend, but I guess I should find someone professional. I just don't know if I'm ready for this.

I think perhaps it is time to look for some professional help, even if it's just a session with a school counsellor every week or so. You need to touch base with someone who can help you figure out your feelings and how to deal with staying strong when your mum tells you things like that.