Scared of the unpardonable sin.

[Blaise N]

Hi everyone,


I’m reaching out tonight because for the last week I’ve been in downright dispair,absolute torture.And I’ve been so scared I haven’t posted here because I’ve been scared of being an apostate.For those of you who know,
I have this awful fear of being an apostate.well in my past couple months Ive had willful thoughts or perhaps somehow intrusive that was mixed with emotions,but fearfully have to confess having willful R———- thoughts,but after they passed I went into downright dispair and panic,repenting and begging for forgiveness.I hate these thoughts and am scared senseless of them.

Would an apostate still pray or be concerned?,absolutely not,I know that,I’ve still obeyed Jesus,remained to love him,continued to walk with him,hate sin,carry my cross,and more.Do I reject Jesus?,absolutely NOT,so I not believe in him?, absolutely not,would I ever leave him?,NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER.My sanity as I know it is around faith,if I don’t have a relationship with Jesus,I’d lose my sanity.that’s how important he is to me.I’m not making excuses,but what’s down-spiraled me into such anxiety is I keep feeling condemned and hurt,I hurt so bad I though those awful things,I hurt thag the one I love so much I had horrible thoughts like that,I keep feeling condemned,I keep feeling like Jesus doesn’t forgive me.

I’ve been so scared about this,and I’m not scared because of hell,but because I’m scared I’ve broken my relationship with Jesus,and I’m so sad I hurt him by those things.I’ve repented countless times and begged and pleaded with tears and sobbing for forgiveness.I can’t feel any desire for repentance or restoration but I ask nevertheless out of my will.All I want in this life is to be a child of God,to be with him,and I’m scared he won’t forgive me.I want him so badly.I can’t live without him,I’m so scared.I’m starting to think it’s the devil tormenting me.but I’ll never give up on Jesus,I care for him far too much.Please pray for me,I don’t wAnt to be condemned,and I want to be a child of him.I don’t want to not be loved by him,and I don’t want to sin because I love him.I’ve seen sanctification in my life,and I believe I’m producing the fruits of kindness,Goodness, gentleness,love,and self control.I’m just sad I thought those horrible things and I’m sad at the possibility of hurting the fathers feelings.


This panic began when I was convinced of those thoughts and I immediately started sobbing and crying for forgiveness,repenting and begging the lord to forgive me.Then it manifested into different things,and it’s hindered my abilities at work.

 

[d taylor]

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Why, it is something you can not commit

 

[Blaise N]

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Why, it is something you can not commit

That’s amazing to hear

 

[Sabertooth]

@Blaise N, have you been going to church and bringing this up to your pastor...?

 

[Blaise N]

@Blaise N, have you been going to church and bringing this up to your pastor...?

No sir,I want to go badly,I really do,but my local churches have some things I’m uncomfortable with,one non denominational one doesn’t have theology,the Lutheran one veers dangerously close to Catholicsm,and some others have legalistic ideas.I miss church,and desperately want to go.

But I haven't committed the unpardonable sin right?

 

[Sabertooth]

But I haven't committed the unpardonable sin right?

Will answering that (again) get you to stop ruminating over it?

Are you going to fix it by isolating yourself??

Here it is again,..

The Church & Mental Illness...

These USA churches are good at dealing with mental illnesses (such as schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.), Vineyard, Assembly of God, Foursquare Church (Links above are locators.) They are present in other countries, as well...

www.christianforums.com

 

[d taylor]

That’s amazing to hear

Really it is not amazing. It is just you have been exposed to incorrect teaching, if you believe that is a sin you can commit. That sin was only a sin that the nation of Israel was able to commit (it was never an individual sin committed by individual people). The sin was rejecting Jesus as Israel's promised Messiah, based on calling the miracles Jesus did as being from the power of demons and not the Holy Spirit.

 

[Blaise N]

Will answering that (again) get you to stop ruminating over it?

Are you going to fix it by isolating yourself??

Here it is again,..

The Church & Mental Illness...

These USA churches are good at dealing with mental illnesses (such as schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.), Vineyard, Assembly of God, Foursquare Church (Links above are locators.) They are present in other countries, as well...

www.christianforums.com

it would be reassuring if possible,No I can’t do it alone,I’ve realized that.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Romans 10:9-11
1 Corinthians 12:3
You confess Jesus as Lord, which means you believe that He is God and rose from the dead. This also means that you have The Holy Spirit, because without Him you can't confess Jesus as Lord. Which means that you have eternal life. Which means you haven't committed the unforgivable sin, for he/she in whom The Holy Spirit dwells, is in Christ and therefore has their sins forgiven. God bless .