scared I'll loose even more

[ladyt28]

I'm starting to have nightmares that my husband is going to die. Since 2000, I have lost both of my parents (I'm an only child with no children of my own so I'm the end of the road for the family), my last aunt, my last uncle and my stepson. It's just my husband and I in our little family and I'm starting to fear that I'm going to loose him too. Does anyone else go through times of feeling like this? I don't want to live with this fear!!!

 

[kaykay537]

Yes, I can definitely relate. I am also an only child who lost my only child to death seven years ago today. My mother is still alive at 83, but I have no living aunts, uncles etc. either. (My mother was also an only child.)We have no contact with any of my father's living siblings or their kids either.

I wouldn't say that it is a fear that obsesses me every day, but yeah, I definitely think about it. And if for some reason I can't reach my husband at home or on his cell phone I have just a tinge of panic sometime. And my husband will also say that he has had some moments like that too especially in the first couple years after Aaron died.

I remember in one of YOUR posts you said something that helped me. It was just the reminder that Jesus exhorted us to not worry about tomorrow. (Sufficient for the day is the evil therein....) I think that helps me to trust in the Lord for TODAY and try to keep my focus there.

Prayers for you, lady~~

 

[ladyt28]

Yes, I can definitely relate. I am also an only child who lost my only child to death seven years ago today. My mother is still alive at 83, but I have no living aunts, uncles etc. either. (My mother was also an only child.)We have no contact with any of my father's living siblings or their kids either.

I wouldn't say that it is a fear that obsesses me every day, but yeah, I definitely think about it. And if for some reason I can't reach my husband at home or on his cell phone I have just a tinge of panic sometime. And my husband will also say that he has had some moments like that too especially in the first couple years after Aaron died.

I remember in one of YOUR posts you said something that helped me. It was just the reminder that Jesus exhorted us to not worry about tomorrow. (Sufficient for the day is the evil therein....) I think that helps me to trust in the Lord for TODAY and try to keep my focus there.

Prayers for you, lady~~

Oh KayKay, THANK YOU for reminding me of that! I do believe the enermy looks for and preys on any kind of human weakness. Yes - think of TODAY only and hold dear that the Lord won't give us more than we can handle through His grace.
God Bless You!!!!!

 

[Sophrosyne]

I too lost both of my parents, Satan tries to grip you with grief over the loss of parents and try to suggest they abandoned you to death and others around also will die on you leaving you alone. I have two sisters but at times they don't talk to me for a month or longer and aunts that cause me trouble more than they are worth so I am essentially alone I feel with no spouse or children and continually remind myself it isn't about me being alone, it is about God being here with me and others alone that I can reach out to because now I know what it feels like they will be more receptive to what I have to say. I was not a very compassionate person for most of my life I had to get sick for a long time and lose my parents to hit rock bottom and now.. every day is a gift from the Lord. Don't dread the future, relish the present for what you have in life and what eternal life will be like. It is dwelling on your own self that will allow satan to undo you, when I get dragged there I have to start screaming for help and...... Jesus comes.

 

[ladyt28]

Thank you soph - yes, satan does use this to try to cause destruction. And you are so right - Jesus comes when we cry our for Him. Again, I have to focus on Today and let tomorrow be until it comes.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I used to worry about my Mom and Dad dying, butyou know what they are in such good health, even at 67 and 74, they could live till they are ninety, and they have been smokers all their life. I mean what I don't want is to die before they do and have them bury their child, I think that would just break their heart.

Do you have some concept of the after life? Usually a person's faith gives them comfort when facing their fear of death, even if it is for a loved one.

Honestly now I have quite worrying about my parents possibly dying, that is good, and I think that comes from getting a lot of stimulation and being occupied by things that make me happy.

 

[valary the slu7]

Maybe your husband WILL die soon. Well, good riddance to a bad man I suppose. Chances are he was cheating on you and had a drug addiction because all men are freaks. Go lesbian hun.

 

[ladyt28]

I used to worry about my Mom and Dad dying, butyou know what they are in such good health, even at 67 and 74, they could live till they are ninety, and they have been smokers all their life. I mean what I don't want is to die before they do and have them bury their child, I think that would just break their heart.

Do you have some concept of the after life? Usually a person's faith gives them comfort when facing their fear of death, even if it is for a loved one.

Honestly now I have quite worrying about my parents possibly dying, that is good, and I think that comes from getting a lot of stimulation and being occupied by things that make me happy.

I thought my heart was broken when my parents died but you know what? I didn't really know what heart-break was until Josh died. Yes, it hurts like MAD to loose my folks but it's the natural order of things - we know all of our lives that they are supposed to go before us. There's nothing natural about having to bury one of your kids. I heard that when you loose your parents, you loose your past. When you loose your kids, you loose your future. That's just been my experience and shouldn't be taken to mean what others might feel under any circumstances.

Yes, I know my folks are in heaven and I seriously believe Josh is too. I also know my husband will be there as well. It's just the weak human part that seems to want to grieve for not having them here with me now while I am still here on this Earth. In all honesty I long for the day when we are all reunited, in glory, with our Lord Father. Until then, I have to remind myself again and again to focus on TODAY only and place my trust in our Lord that He will give me what I need to make it through today.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Make sure you do stuff that is fun, I deprived myself of just about any stimulation that I couldn't enjoy life anymore, and really needed to be hospitilized eight years ago. I tell you just some stimulation can totally make you quite obssessing over death. Just watching an interesting program, or bowling even. Feel good and have fun.

By the way there was a troll that posted here last night, I hope she didn't disturb you, I mean the mods got her posts down quick and banned her fast, soI hope you didn't get affected by that.

Can you believe how depraved some people are? They got nothing better to do but to disturb people who are trying to get support for their grief, it is inhumane. I try to keep an eye out for people that try to say stuff that is offensive.

Hang in there and remember Life is hard, but God is good.

 

[ladyt28]

Well Praise God that I never saw the troll post! And this summer have been chocked-full of Fun with a Capital "F"! My husband bought me a little red roaster convertible for Christmas and we have been going on one run after another with all kinds of crazy fun people from around the US - and sharing God's word whenever possible while doing it. I pray that you are finding the things that God leads you to DT - He wants you to feel the JOY that He intends for us. I pray that He shields you from the damage the enemy tries to drown you in. When it comes to my folks, my best motivator is to be the daughter they could be proud of: to love our Lord, to be compassionate, to share the gifts that God gave me. You too have many gifts to share and it is obvious to me that compassion is one of your strengths as well my brother! God bless you!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Thank you God bless you too! I try to think happy thoughts and shoot a lot of pool and watch interesting programs too.