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Scared / confused / totally wrong, I don't know what...
- Thread starter PrincessFromOz
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Gardener101
Well-Known Member
Yes.
You have to do your part and let God do his part.
Do you part by dating this guy to get some of the answers to the questions you wrote above.
Let God do his part by helping you piece all the collated information together and letting you know his will for you in this situation.
Best wishes.
x
G101
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Lol... thanks guys... just one of those confusing times I guess...
These things always pan out in the end with much prayer...
I know that one day God will send the right guy to me, at the right time. Sometimes it's hard to know though whether when I meet him sparks will fly and I'll think "Yes! He's the one!" or whether someone I've known for years will gradually grab my attention and it will go from there.. I guess we don't know, hey. God writes everyone's love story differently and wonderfully...
As for being able to date him, yikes... He'd have to ask me out first! Lol... *looks at phone... nothing yet*
These things always pan out in the end with much prayer...
I know that one day God will send the right guy to me, at the right time. Sometimes it's hard to know though whether when I meet him sparks will fly and I'll think "Yes! He's the one!" or whether someone I've known for years will gradually grab my attention and it will go from there.. I guess we don't know, hey. God writes everyone's love story differently and wonderfully...
As for being able to date him, yikes... He'd have to ask me out first! Lol... *looks at phone... nothing yet*
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OH yeah, and I just thought of something else 
I don't know what it's like where you guys are from, but in Australia (at least where I live anyway), people don't really go out on dates unless they're already committed in some way. So in that sense it's hard to get to know people who aren't already close friends, without being committed to the point where it will hurt if it doesn't work out...
Which is I guess why it will take extra work to get my questions answered...
I don't know what it's like where you guys are from, but in Australia (at least where I live anyway), people don't really go out on dates unless they're already committed in some way. So in that sense it's hard to get to know people who aren't already close friends, without being committed to the point where it will hurt if it doesn't work out...
Which is I guess why it will take extra work to get my questions answered...
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Gardener101
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OH yeah, and I just thought of something else
I don't know what it's like where you guys are from, but in Australia (at least where I live anyway), people don't really go out on dates unless they're already committed in some way. So in that sense it's hard to get to know people who aren't already close friends, without being committed to the point where it will hurt if it doesn't work out...
Which is I guess why it will take extra work to get my questions answered...
Interesting.....
Can you please tell us more about this guy? For example: how did you meet him? How often do you see him now? Is he friends with any of your friends?
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Well, when I say God writes everyone's love story... I think that includes people who are meant to be single for life, it's just a love story in a different way, if that makes sense.. :S It's late and I'm tired, hehe...
How I know this guy? Well I've been going to church with him for like 5 years, done some ministry stuff with him, have lots of mutual friends, etc etc...
But at the same time, even though we're good friends, I still don't feel like we've gone beyond the usual surface stuff - I'd like to know him deeper - to know what makes him tick, where he's at with God, what he's like deep inside, you know.. We just don't really catch up that much except for a brief chat at church. Plus we're both heaps busy.
He's a really friendly guy, fun-loving, caring, etc. I guess it would take a lot to get him to open up about stuff, that's all.
How I know this guy? Well I've been going to church with him for like 5 years, done some ministry stuff with him, have lots of mutual friends, etc etc...
But at the same time, even though we're good friends, I still don't feel like we've gone beyond the usual surface stuff - I'd like to know him deeper - to know what makes him tick, where he's at with God, what he's like deep inside, you know.. We just don't really catch up that much except for a brief chat at church. Plus we're both heaps busy.
He's a really friendly guy, fun-loving, caring, etc. I guess it would take a lot to get him to open up about stuff, that's all.
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Gardener101
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I don't want to reply to this. It would be too harsh.
But I will say one thing:
God has given you five years to get to know this guy, and this is all you can come up with?
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God has given you five years to get to know this guy, and this is all you can come up with?
When you put it like that it seems dumb. I guess I should just make the effort - go up to him and talk to him and let him get to know me.
I could rant on about him a bit more if u like... like how I reckon he has a really good heart. I've seen him in frustrating situations were most people would lash out at someone, but he doesn't. He also treats the girls around him with a great deal of respect, and he doesn't give anyone special treatment.
The only thing is, I don't know if there is a maturity issue, because he's a bit younger than me. But on the other hand, I think we have a lot to offer each other.
That's it... this week I am going to make an extra effort to talk to him! Probably doesn't help that I can be a bit shy, but I'm gonna try!
And I just need to get over the usual insecurities like 'as if he'd be interested in me' type thinkng.
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JPPT1974
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Praying that it works well for you
And that God will give you the right words
To say my friend.
Let us know how it goes will you? Thanks!
And that God will give you the right words
To say my friend.
Let us know how it goes will you? Thanks!
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Luther073082
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You've known him for 5 years, you should be able to tell if he is immature or not. If he was immature I'm not sure that you would like him in the first place.
Well since your shy you probably won't do it but hon its 2007. Ask him out! I just personally think the old tradition of the guys always doing the asking is completly useless which leaves the women trying to drop hints at guys they like that guys can't always read and guys always the ones who have to deal with and face the fear of rejection.
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Beautiful Fireball
Tomorrow is another day
5 years! I think you pretty much know how you feel, you need to step up and ask him out, or at least do SOMETHING, lol. How do you expect anything to change if you don't put forth the effort?
It may not pan out the way you like, but you will be sooo happy that you got it out in the open no matter what the outcome is (trust me, I know ). Just invite him out for coffee or something and go from there. No need to work yourself up over it, its a waste of time. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort, then you have no right to be sitting there wondering what is going on and driving yourself crazy over it (I mean that in the nicest way possible, this is a lesson I had to learn the hard way 
)
Good Luck!
It may not pan out the way you like, but you will be sooo happy that you got it out in the open no matter what the outcome is (trust me, I know
). Just invite him out for coffee or something and go from there. No need to work yourself up over it, its a waste of time. If you aren't willing to put forth the effort, then you have no right to be sitting there wondering what is going on and driving yourself crazy over it (I mean that in the nicest way possible, this is a lesson I had to learn the hard way )Good Luck!
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PassionateOne
I say it, as I see it
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There are really no 'concrete' answers to your questions. Sometimes you just need to take a 'leap of faith'. Someone here on CF has a username that I LOVE!!!!!!! "FearAintFaith" and that's sooooooo true!!!!!! I have come across so many people that won't act on their feelings for someone else, because the are too fearful. Like you, they keep asking, "what if? what if? what if?" They 'think it to death' and never act on it.......and you know what's even more sad? Instead of taking a chance and finding out what might happen, they never do anything and they are still alone, lonely, and wondering "what would have happened if I took that chance?"
I don't know about you, but I CAN'T live my life like that!
Let me ask you, what if the thing you figured worse that would happen, happened? Would it cripple you to where, you're done with life and you'll never take a chance again? That would be kind of silly to value that guy so much to feel that way.....you're only in your early 20's.
I say, trust in God and trust in yourself that you've known this guy for 5 years and you know what kind of person you want in your life.
Never let fear take control.
I don't know about you, but I CAN'T live my life like that!
Let me ask you, what if the thing you figured worse that would happen, happened? Would it cripple you to where, you're done with life and you'll never take a chance again? That would be kind of silly to value that guy so much to feel that way.....you're only in your early 20's.
I say, trust in God and trust in yourself that you've known this guy for 5 years and you know what kind of person you want in your life.
Never let fear take control.
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Buskanaka
Hold me in your arms, never let me run away
As a fellow Aussie I understand where you're coming from, it's hard to get to know someone when you never get alone time with them. Especially if you have a quiet personality, like me, it's very frustrating sometimes.
My advice would probably be that you're on the right track with just going up and talking. Try and insert yourself into his life so to speak, if you're at an event and know he's there make a point of speaking to him, maybe say something like: hey, we should catch up some time and see what he does, or invite him out places with a couple of other people.
Good luck!
My advice would probably be that you're on the right track with just going up and talking. Try and insert yourself into his life so to speak, if you're at an event and know he's there make a point of speaking to him, maybe say something like: hey, we should catch up some time and see what he does, or invite him out places with a couple of other people.
Good luck!
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Thanx guyz... you're all so helpful.. xoxo
Another thing that keeps popping into my head is whether or not i'm somehow subconsciously settling for second best because I'm not patient enough to wait for the right one. Or whether, as we're debating in another thread, 'Mr Right' as I imagine him doesn't exist, and I'm expecting someone who is perfect?
Anyway, I'm just praying.. I feel a lot of peace in my heart today.
One thing I have learned through all this is that I really just need to expand my friendship circles a lot more and get to know more guys around me. There must be like, 30 guys around my age in my church and I hardly know any of them very well coz I tend to hang out with the girls
Things that complicate all this is that I live in a town of only about 80,000 people, and the pickings are quite small, if you know what I mean. I don't know anyone in this town who is my age and has a calling to overseas missions.
I'm just trusting God to bring along someone (it would take a miracle but we're talking about God here!), at the right time, who also has a call to the mission field.
Just got to be patient.
xoxoAnother thing that keeps popping into my head is whether or not i'm somehow subconsciously settling for second best because I'm not patient enough to wait for the right one. Or whether, as we're debating in another thread, 'Mr Right' as I imagine him doesn't exist, and I'm expecting someone who is perfect?
Anyway, I'm just praying.. I feel a lot of peace in my heart today.
One thing I have learned through all this is that I really just need to expand my friendship circles a lot more and get to know more guys around me. There must be like, 30 guys around my age in my church and I hardly know any of them very well coz I tend to hang out with the girls
Things that complicate all this is that I live in a town of only about 80,000 people, and the pickings are quite small, if you know what I mean. I don't know anyone in this town who is my age and has a calling to overseas missions.
I'm just trusting God to bring along someone (it would take a miracle but we're talking about God here!), at the right time, who also has a call to the mission field.
Just got to be patient.
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Gardener101
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No, actually, not 'just got to be patient'.Thanx guyz... you're all so helpful..
Another thing that keeps popping into my head is whether or not i'm somehow subconsciously settling for second best because I'm not patient enough to wait for the right one. Or whether, as we're debating in another thread, 'Mr Right' as I imagine him doesn't exist, and I'm expecting someone who is perfect?
Anyway, I'm just praying.. I feel a lot of peace in my heart today.
One thing I have learned through all this is that I really just need to expand my friendship circles a lot more and get to know more guys around me. There must be like, 30 guys around my age in my church and I hardly know any of them very well coz I tend to hang out with the girls
Things that complicate all this is that I live in a town of only about 80,000 people, and the pickings are quite small, if you know what I mean. I don't know anyone in this town who is my age and has a calling to overseas missions.
I'm just trusting God to bring along someone (it would take a miracle but we're talking about God here!), at the right time, who also has a call to the mission field.
Just got to be patient.
But...."Just got to stop being so pessimistic and prone to making so many excuses".
Think positive.
You worry too much.
*G101 pulls her own hair out*
If you limit your pickings like that, you limit your faith, which limits God.
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Gardener101
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LOL. Hahahaha, if you have been here long enough you'll see that I do that quite often and its no big deal.Sorry for making you tear your hair out!
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