Saved from Atheism

[Tom 1]

I grew up in a mildly religious family. As I became older, I drifted away from the Church and as we weren't really that religious to begin with, no one really noticed.
By the time I was in High School I had become an Atheist. I relished the thought of belittling people for their religious beliefs. I knew all the tricks of undermining the historicity of the Bible, speaking of the fact that the canon was only established later, that there is no proof of God. I used scientific and empiric arguments as weapons to crush well meaning classmates with cold logic. I was in short, an intellectual bully.
I would scoff at bible stories and miracles and have a condescending attitude of pitying the poor Christians for their stupidity. I was really quite a pompous ass if I look back at it.

This continued into University, only my Atheism becoming more pronounced and militant to the point of denouncing any display of religion, blaming all the evils of the world on religion, showing no respect at all to its adherents.

In spite of this, I did manage to have some religious friends, clearly much better people than I was, and one day my one friend gave me a copy of Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. I was ready to laugh at him and accepted the book with the intention of refuting it and showing the poor man why he was deluded if he thought God existed. I was ready to attack every point in the book, on the look out for any error. I was going to give him a copy of Bertrand Russel's 'Why I am not a Christian' in retaliation and enjoy him flailing in my superior 'logic'.

But CS Lewis was so reasonable, so captivating, so basically decent in what he said. His arguments played straight to my own love of history, his description of Christianity so warm and inviting, while still having a backbone. His denunciation of too simple versions of Christianity, his clear descriptions and arguments won me over. It was a good book which I thoroughly enjoyed and I thanked my friend.

I was not yet a Christian, but a crack was opened in my hard shell. I saw how silly I had been, how close-minded while thinking I was a "free-thinker". I listened to the Christians in my path, I re-evaluated the 'scientific' views I had held and realised that only Agnosticism was actually scientific. This led me to further study the philosophy behind religion and the more I moved away from Atheism, the nicer I became. People commented on how much I had changed.
It was only then, that I noticed the faint call of the Divine. In the silent hours of the night there was the gnawing uncertainty of maybe Christianity was true. There were the coincidences that seemed to many to not be signs (for instance, my girlfriend verbalised doubts about religion and just then she suddenly got a text about a bible study out of nowhere. There were many such "coincidences").
My scientifically trained mind revolted, I fought off these feelings, I tried in vain to escape, but slowly I was pushed onto my knees and started to pray. It was hard and uncomfortable at first, difficult, I thought I would just try it and see if maybe there was something to it.

My world changed. Soon I felt the Presence of God and saw the beauty of creation (which I had despised). Alongside, unfortunately, came the realisation of my own terrible sins, my worthlessness, the emptiness that my life had been. I now knew that I was nothing and my world crumbled.
Luckily, God stepped in. My Christian girlfriend helped bring me to the realisation of the fact that Grace had saved me from the depraved and worthless thing that I was without it. I learnt to trust in the Cross.
It was difficult, as it still is. For CS Lewis said it best: "I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity". Even today, six years later, I still struggle. I feel the crushing weight of my sins and my unworthiness before God, but I also feel the indescribable Love of God upon me at times. I look back at my former self and shudder, for Christ has made me a new man, still flawed but a whole lot better and I trust that one day He will make me perfect and whole.

So to whoever is reading this, never give up on the Atheists you meet. CS Lewis was an atheist. So was I. We were both led to God by well-meaning Christians against our wills. I am infinitely better for it and am unbelievably grateful to these people.
The atheist may scream and attack you and call you stupid or whatever, but they are poor sad children that miss the forest for the trees. They live in a sad dark hole that they dug for themselves. It is our duty to try and give them a hand out of it, for even if 9 out of 10 times they will snarl and bite the offered hand, they will be better for it. As Jesus said of His persecutors: "forgive them Father, they know not what they do".

Great testimony Quid (I think that’s become your cf nickname? ;-)). Appreciate you laying it out so clearly - it’s amazing how the same God works in each of us differently to bring us back to him.

 

[Grace2022]

Hi again

I wonder if you look up Holman Hunt, his painting The Light of the World. Study and think about the meaning, the story behind it. There you can see Christ's message to you.
Jesus is here for every person. If you open your heart to Him.

 

[Abide with me.]

I grew up in a mildly religious family. As I became older, I drifted away from the Church and as we weren't really that religious to begin with, no one really noticed.
By the time I was in High School I had become an Atheist. I relished the thought of belittling people for their religious beliefs. I knew all the tricks of undermining the historicity of the Bible, speaking of the fact that the canon was only established later, that there is no proof of God. I used scientific and empiric arguments as weapons to crush well meaning classmates with cold logic. I was in short, an intellectual bully.
I would scoff at bible stories and miracles and have a condescending attitude of pitying the poor Christians for their stupidity. I was really quite a pompous ass if I look back at it.

This continued into University, only my Atheism becoming more pronounced and militant to the point of denouncing any display of religion, blaming all the evils of the world on religion, showing no respect at all to its adherents.

In spite of this, I did manage to have some religious friends, clearly much better people than I was, and one day my one friend gave me a copy of Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. I was ready to laugh at him and accepted the book with the intention of refuting it and showing the poor man why he was deluded if he thought God existed. I was ready to attack every point in the book, on the look out for any error. I was going to give him a copy of Bertrand Russel's 'Why I am not a Christian' in retaliation and enjoy him flailing in my superior 'logic'.

But CS Lewis was so reasonable, so captivating, so basically decent in what he said. His arguments played straight to my own love of history, his description of Christianity so warm and inviting, while still having a backbone. His denunciation of too simple versions of Christianity, his clear descriptions and arguments won me over. It was a good book which I thoroughly enjoyed and I thanked my friend.

I was not yet a Christian, but a crack was opened in my hard shell. I saw how silly I had been, how close-minded while thinking I was a "free-thinker". I listened to the Christians in my path, I re-evaluated the 'scientific' views I had held and realised that only Agnosticism was actually scientific. This led me to further study the philosophy behind religion and the more I moved away from Atheism, the nicer I became. People commented on how much I had changed.
It was only then, that I noticed the faint call of the Divine. In the silent hours of the night there was the gnawing uncertainty of maybe Christianity was true. There were the coincidences that seemed to many to not be signs (for instance, my girlfriend verbalised doubts about religion and just then she suddenly got a text about a bible study out of nowhere. There were many such "coincidences").
My scientifically trained mind revolted, I fought off these feelings, I tried in vain to escape, but slowly I was pushed onto my knees and started to pray. It was hard and uncomfortable at first, difficult, I thought I would just try it and see if maybe there was something to it.

My world changed. Soon I felt the Presence of God and saw the beauty of creation (which I had despised). Alongside, unfortunately, came the realisation of my own terrible sins, my worthlessness, the emptiness that my life had been. I now knew that I was nothing and my world crumbled.
Luckily, God stepped in. My Christian girlfriend helped bring me to the realisation of the fact that Grace had saved me from the depraved and worthless thing that I was without it. I learnt to trust in the Cross.
It was difficult, as it still is. For CS Lewis said it best: "I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity". Even today, six years later, I still struggle. I feel the crushing weight of my sins and my unworthiness before God, but I also feel the indescribable Love of God upon me at times. I look back at my former self and shudder, for Christ has made me a new man, still flawed but a whole lot better and I trust that one day He will make me perfect and whole.

So to whoever is reading this, never give up on the Atheists you meet. CS Lewis was an atheist. So was I. We were both led to God by well-meaning Christians against our wills. I am infinitely better for it and am unbelievably grateful to these people.
The atheist may scream and attack you and call you stupid or whatever, but they are poor sad children that miss the forest for the trees. They live in a sad dark hole that they dug for themselves. It is our duty to try and give them a hand out of it, for even if 9 out of 10 times they will snarl and bite the offered hand, they will be better for it. As Jesus said of His persecutors: "forgive them Father, they know not what they do".

This is a beautiful and SO honest a testimony, I had spent my early life around academics, and I do sometimes wonder if intellectualisasion and belief in your knowledge of your subject leads to a lack of humility overall, and fills the mind with logic, which leaves no room for the mysteries of life.
You mention co incidences, I too have had far too many of these to pass it off as good luck, bad luck, serendipity etc, my Christian friend says the are God instances.

 

[psalmbody]

I would just like to say that your testimony helped me. I stumbled around to the dark side of youtube (religious debates lol) and I stupidly read comments from atheists bashing Christians, saying that we're so quick to call on our "imaginary friend" and that "we're just talking to ourselves." I have been a Christian for all of my life, but since I got truly delivered I started to see God in everything, noticing His presence and experiencing miracles. Doubt is a neutral thing I guess but I felt a bit hopeless after reading the empty arguments of unbelievers. So thank you for kinda answering my prayers

 

[Grace2022]

Hi Psalmbody
I am glad what you read here has helped. If my testimony helped then that is so nice to hear.