"And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:14-15
“Suppose someone should be caught in the act of adultery and the foulest crimes and then be thrown into prison. Suppose, next, that judgment was going to be passed against him and that he would be condemned. Suppose that just at that moment a letter should come from the Emperor setting free from any accounting or examination all those detained in prison. If the prisoner should refuse to take advantage of the pardon, remain obstinate and choose to be brought to trial, to give an account, and to undergo punishment, he will not be able thereafter to avail himself of the Emperor’s favor. For when he made himself accountable to the court, examination, and sentence, he chose of his own accord to deprive himself of the imperial gift.
This is what happened in the case of the Jews. Look how it is. All human nature was taken in the foulest evils. “All have sinned,” says Paul. They were locked, as it were, in a prison by the curse of their transgression of the Law. The sentence of the judge was going to be passed against them. A letter from the King came down from heaven. Rather, the King himself came. Without examination, without exacting an account, he set all men free from the chains of their sins.
All, then, who run to Christ are saved by his grace and profit from his gift. But those who wish to find justification from the Law will also fall from grace. They will not be able to enjoy the King’s loving-kindness because they are striving to gain salvation by their own efforts; they will draw down on themselves the curse of the Law
because by the works of the Law, no flesh will find justification.
What does this mean? That he has justified our race not by right actions, not by toils, not by barter and exchange, but by grace alone. Paul, too, made this clear when he said: “But now the justice of God has been made manifest apart from the Law.”
But the justice of God comes through faith in Jesus Christ and not through any labor and suffering.”
Chrysostom on Justification, (347 – 407 AD) Discourses Against Judaizing Christians.
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I've gotta admit. I'm the type of person that needs certainty. "Better safe than sorry" is a good phrase for most people, but I'm the type who will examine everything over and over and over, and never really have a sense of peace. Sometimes, nothing ever feels "safe". Sometimes, things never feel secure as they should. My mind can be exacting and restless. It has always been this way, though with other matters, for my faith has not always defined everything I do! But my God, the Lord Jesus Christ, has saved me from the punishment my sin warrants, and my life is built upon that!!
So, consequently, over a period of a few years, my restless thoughts found a new target: my faith. The accusations were, more specifically, this: how do
you really know you have the
actual Gospel? How can you know that God will
really accept you?
I know I'm utterly tainted by sin. The only way I'm living and breathing is because of God and His living and active work in me, that is for sure. So each time I saw another argument about our participation in grace through our own merit... I felt sickened. The cognitive dissonance was not serving me well either: after all, how can grace- which, by definition, is undeserved love and kindness- be deserved or merited? How could one merit the unmerited?
Or have I just been interpreting it wrong the whole time?
These past several days, I can't lie, I have been utterly consumed by these thoughts. I have been struggling with- what Gavin Ortlund (from the channel Truth Unites) so eloquently dubbed- "ecclesial anxiety". I scored every resource imaginable on justification according to Catholicism, Orthodoxy, and Protestantism, wondering if I had made the right choice. Each day I read patristic sources and arguments and debates. I remember the first night this started. I tend to question everything and search for resolutions to each problem immediately, but this one was different; I was spiraling.
How could the Catholic church have dominated church history for so long, if it were truly obscuring the Gospel as I'm believing? What if I'm making the wrong choice?
I listened to arguments from all sides, and some were really helpful! (One great example is on the doctrinal development of icon veneration, here:
)
However, I was not given a sense of lasting peace. I still woke up in the morning and felt unsettled, and the spiral continued the next day. I searched for certainty again and again and again.
No one can bring true, lasting peace but God. His Word strengthens me when I have no strength left.
One night, as is my custom, I played someone reading the Bible as I went to sleep. I asked my Alexa device, so I didn't choose any specific passage. I knew God was present then, though, in the passages I heard. They were passages about false prophets who distort the Gospel, and how we are to live in the grace of Christ!! How marvelous, how beautiful, how priceless is the Gospel message!
And our Savior Himself said: "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and
you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light".
This is my Savior... the pinnacle, the epitome of mercy. How great is our God! Who can be greater? Who is more merciful than He is, and who is more just than He is? He is perfect in everything.
I believe in the Lord Jesus, and by His wounds, by His sacrifice, I am healed of my sins.
We can trust the Word of God. It is
breathed out by God. What can contradict it? We can trust God and His Word with our lives.
I hope this was of help and was a good reminder to others of our amazing salvation. Take heart! Our Savior has overcome the world. We are safe with Him, clothed in His righteousness by faith. That is a gift too precious to lose!
Thank you so much for reading. If you have any words of encouragement, my brothers and sisters, please share them! I struggled a lot with this. However, I know that I'm not alone in that!
May the God of peace bless you!! I love you guys!
