Saved by faith vs Works

[ColDoc]

My wife and I are having problems which I feel are directly based on our religious lives.

My wife was brought up in a home where her father was a Southern Baptist preacher. She said she accepted Christ the first time when she was 8 y/o. Now she says she was just saved two years ago when she began studying the Bible and listening to RC Sproul/John MacArthur and discovering the reformed faith. We both attended a PCA Presbyterian church.

I was brought up a Cahtolic and lapsed for many years. Then when I was 35 y/o I accepted Christ and made a profession of faith, was baptized in a Baptist church. Since we have moved several times, we have attended many churches. We finally decided on this presbyterian church four years ago because we both thought it offered a reformed view of our faith.

My trouble is that my wife thinks I'm lost because I don't study the Bible three hours everyday, want to go to church everytime the doors are open and dn't wanmt to listen to RC Sproul/MacArhtur/Begg five hours everyday.

I told her that I believed on Christ as my savior, know that he came to take my sins upon him and that the gift of that faith is given through grace from God.

She continually cites that this isn't good enough evidence for my conversion. I don't show enough fruits of the spirit, etc.

My question is: can't saved people be at different points in their walk. She's been a Christian for over 40 years and I consider myself relatively new. Also, she says that it is her job to point out who she thinks is saved and who aren't.

I know this is a thorny issue because I read one of the Puritan authors (Almost a Christian) where he explained that almost everything a person does because they think they are a Christian could be deceptive.

So how do I proceed. She has stopped talking to me for weeks now and said she has give n up on me.

Any advice?

 

[Reformationist]

My question is: can't saved people be at different points in their walk.

Unequivocally yes.

She's been a Christian for over 40 years and I consider myself relatively new. Also, she says that it is her job to point out who she thinks is saved and who aren't.

We are tasked, by God, with knowing He saves through His regenerative grace and that we are saved. Knowing that we are saved is something that we will trust at varying levels at varying points in our lives. What we are never tasked with doing is determining whether someone else is saved or how God is working in their lives. We are, however, tasked with determining whether someone else is sinning. And, if they are sinning, we are tasked with helping them to repent. This is not something that will come about through condescension but rather patience and love. Every Christian I have ever met has, at times, exhibited certain fruits that evidence conversion while at other times acting according to their old, unregenerate nature. Obviously we should all be striving to put on the godliness of Christ and if you feel that there are certain areas that you are lacking in then you should most definitely pray for God's grace to help your desire for His presence increase. Neither your wife, nor any other person ever created, was tasked with determining a person's salvation. That is between that person and God.

I know this is a thorny issue because I read one of the Puritan authors (Almost a Christian) where he explained that almost everything a person does because they think they are a Christian could be deceptive.

The expressed Will of God is not given to decieve. He gave us His Word so that we would know Him and know what He did for us and how we should seek His Will. The Word of God leads us into all truth. It does not deceive.

So how do I proceed. She has stopped talking to me for weeks now and said she has give n up on me.

Here's something that my Pastor calls "The 4 G's of reconciliation." It helped me to put things into perspective and strive to obey God in all things. Pay close attention to the order:

Glorify God - Whatever path you choose to take in this issue seek His Will through prayer and strive to be obedient.

Get the plank out of your own eye - Think about the situation and see how you contributed. If you have acted in a sinful manner then you should repent and go and apologize, without expecting something in return. Your obedient action if you've sinned is to acknowledge that sin, ask the offended party for forgiveness, and humble yourself before the Lord in repentence.

Get the speck out of your brother's eye - Only after you have acknowledged that conflict is hardly ever a one sided thing and sought to make ammends for your own sinfulness can you help your brother (your wife) in a clear and unburdened way that will show her that you love her rather than that you are trying to be right. How often have you heard someone say, "Oh sure, I sinned, but look what you did. I never would have done this if you hadn't done that." Yeah. Right. We are not responsible for another's sinfulness but we are also not able to use their actions as a justifiable crutch for our own disobedience.

Go and be reconciled - Once the two of you have lovingly put the needs of the other first and apologized for your own contribution to the conflict you can truly forgive and pray to God that He will continue to bless you with the guidance that is so necessary in marital affairs.

If you are a stumbling block to your wife you should try to find out why. If you are lazy in your walk with Christ and God graces her with the ability to see that then He is not showing her your failings so that she can blast you. He is showing her so that she can lift you up and edify you. You each have a part to play here. You should pray that God would grace you with an ernest desire to do His Will. Your wife should learn to encourage. She needs to understand, as do so many Christians, myself included, that not only are each of us at different point in our spiritual development, each of us moves at a different pace. If you and your wife are truly reformed Christians then she should understand that it is by the grace of God that whatsoever He wills will come to pass, including our impotence in bringing about the Will of God solely by our own works. She should be patient. "Where one reapeth, another soweth." We, as created beings, often feel like things need to happen right away. Your wife should ask herself if her behavior is glorifying to God, even if her motive is. Her job is to encourage and edify you. Your job is to be transformed by the Word into a man who is outfitted to wash your wife in the Word.

Hope that helps,
God bless

 

[Suede]

ColDoc,

Sorry this is a late reply, but hopefully better late then never.

+++My question is: can't saved people be at different points in their walk.+++

Yes! Absolutely. God has made us all unique, and all different.

+++She's been a Christian for over 40 years and I consider myself relatively new. Also, she says that it is her job to point out who she thinks is saved and who aren't.+++

Though God calls each of us differently, her calling is not to point out who is saved and who is not.

I have a friend who is a new father, two times over now. Obviously he is just not able to study like am. Is he less of a Christian then me? NO! Am I more of a Christian? NO! Does my passion burn hotter for God? NO! Walk your walk with God. It is such a blessing that we are allowed to have such a personal and intimate relationship with God, turly it's unique. I hope things will smooth over with you and your wife. Pray about it! Take care,

ADD