Sasquatch genome sequenced by cryptozoologists

[Oafman]

Scientists at a Texas-based forensic services company have published the results of their studies on over 100 samples sent in from across North America.

One hundred eleven samples of blood, tissue, hair, and other types of specimens were studied, characterized and hypothesized to be obtained from elusive hominins in North America commonly referred to as Sasquatch. DNA was extracted and purified from a subset of these samples that survived rigorous screening for wildlife species identification. Mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA) sequencing, specific genetic loci sequencing, forensic short tandem repeat (STR) testing, whole genome single nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) bead array analysis, and next generation whole genome sequencing were conducted on purported Sasquatch DNA samples gathered from various locations in North America. Additionally, histopathologic and electron microscopic examination were performed on a large tissue sample.

Idiocy of near unfathomable depths

 

[AV1611VET]

Idiocy of near unfathomable depths

Why is that idiocy? aren't they supposed to run those tests? isn't that why they were sent those samples in the first place?

What were the results, by the way?

 

[mmksparbud]

For many years, people did not believe there existed large, hairy human-like creatures in isolated areas. Church leaders everywhere condemned the believe of any such creature as they thought scientists would use that as their "missing link." then they found them--Gorillas. They are still not human.
Maybe there is something like the suspected Sasquatch--and maybe this DNA stuff is true. Doesn't mean they are human, anymore than a gorilla is. Since they have supposedly discovered their DNA, they then have DNA that is different from human DNA, or they would not be able to tell it was not human.

 

[AV1611VET]

For many years, people did not believe there existed large, hairy human-like creatures in isolated areas. Church leaders everywhere condemned the believe of any such creature as they thought scientists would use that as their "missing link." then they found them--Gorillas. They are still not human.

I may have my facts wrong ... (won't be the first time) ... but I believe scientists at one time declared the Coelacanth (sp?) to be extinct, until they found one; then they justified it by saying it is a different species of Coelacanth (sp?).

Then they declared smallpox (or chicken pox, or one of those poxes) to be eradicated, and while they were celebrating and patting each other on the back, there was an outbreak.

 

[Oafman]

It seems that my initial cynicism was misplaced. The scientists concluded that “the data conclusively proves that the Sasquatch exist as an extant hominin and are a direct maternal descendent of modern humans.”

Such was the ground-breaking nature of these conclusions, that it was necessary for these scientists to create their own journal in which to publish the findings. The De Novo Scientific Journal went live on 4th February, and this study is its only publication so far. I imagine this is to ensure clarity.

The findings are available to download from the De Novo Journal for a mere $30, which I think we will all agree is a bargain for access to such an incredible study.

One of the report's main authors, Dr Randy Bumgardner, was quoted as follows:

The Sasquatch is an incredibly stealthy and elusive creature, which goes some way to explaining why no convincing pictures, video footage, or remains have ever been found. Accordingly, we are delighted to have finally put this matter to bed, and now plan to focus our efforts on sequencing the mermaid genome, from the large number of samples we have obtained. Watch this space!

Science truly is amazing!

 

[mmksparbud]

Well---there you have it--pay $30.00 for information that should be free and make donations to fund the mermaid DNA search--great. If you go to worth1000.com you will find where computer graphic people have entered contests in which they can, from scratch, make skeletons, make hair, make horses, make people, change photos, make up stuff that look like photos. They are amazing. They have done skeletons of different kinds of mermaids, and other human and non human skeletons. I love the ones that are of Pegasus. They come in all colors and are so strikingly life like they look like photos, others are clearly not meant to look like photos. They've got contests for all sorts of computer graphics. I believe now you have to sign up in order to get in, but it is free.
I love the ones that they have taken a photo of some beautiful celebrity and given them wrinkles, acne, pock marks, warts, scabs and so on and man, are they ugly--but they look like photos. They were the ones that had a contest for archeological digs, and some came up with giant human skeletons and all sorts of other digs. Remarkable.

 

[Notedstrangeperson]

(The Huffington Post also had a post about this: LINK)
(Seattlepi.com also has an article detailing the number of "scientists" working on the project: LINK)


The internet has broken my sarcasm detector: is this a genuine journal or an elaborate joke (the "mermaid genome", are you kidding me?) And if it is a joke, who is playing it?

I looked up the person behind the journal - Melba Ketchum - and all I could find which wasn't about her "Bigfoot DNA analysis" was this: her profile from dnadiagnostics.com. She also runs the Sasquatch Genome Project but the site seems to be broken.

Coincidently there was a thread on whether or not Bigfoot really existed. Almost all of the users, religious or not, said no. Except one - one user claimed it thought it was quite possible Bigfoot existed. As it happened, that user was an atheist.

 

[46AND2]

I may have my facts wrong ... (won't be the first time) ... but I believe scientists at one time declared the Coelacanth (sp?) to be extinct, until they found one; then they justified it by saying it is a different species of Coelacanth (sp?).

Then they declared smallpox (or chicken pox, or one of those poxes) to be eradicated, and while they were celebrating and patting each other on the back, there was an outbreak.

Coelacanth refers to an Order of fish. To put that into perspective, humans are in the Primate order.

So to say that we found a new Coelacanth, would be like extraterrestrials coming in the future and finding a new Primate, when they thought Primates were extinct. Ok, well what kind of Primate? Well, it's very similar to ancient primates, but it is different enough that it is not the same species as any in the fossil record.

 

[troodon]

The findings are available to download from the De Novo Journal for a mere $30, which I think we will all agree is a bargain for access to such an incredible study.

I can't even find that spot on the website. It claims to be open access... ridiculous hacks.

 

[46AND2]

Well---there you have it--pay $30.00 for information that should be free and make donations to fund the mermaid DNA search--great. If you go to worth1000.com you will find where computer graphic people have entered contests in which they can, from scratch, make skeletons, make hair, make horses, make people, change photos, make up stuff that look like photos. They are amazing. They have done skeletons of different kinds of mermaids, and other human and non human skeletons. I love the ones that are of Pegasus. They come in all colors and are so strikingly life like they look like photos, others are clearly not meant to look like photos. They've got contests for all sorts of computer graphics. I believe now you have to sign up in order to get in, but it is free.
I love the ones that they have taken a photo of some beautiful celebrity and given them wrinkles, acne, pock marks, warts, scabs and so on and man, are they ugly--but they look like photos. They were the ones that had a contest for archeological digs, and some came up with giant human skeletons and all sorts of other digs. Remarkable.

I'm not defending the content of the "publication," but to be fair, a lot of new scientific articles do cost plenty of money. I've seen some as high as $60.

 

[michaelG1949]

you said descendents of human mothers, not ancesters, what is nephilim.

 

[Spaceman_Spiff]

She owns the journal.

Sasquatch is ill-served » Pharyngula

 

[Steve Petersen]

To sequence Sasquatch DNA you would need to HAVE SOME first!

Please provide a credible source for someone having acquired Sasquatch DNA.

Who are the people cited in the OP? Their credentials are not listed on the linked page.

 

[Tomk80]

What stood out to me in the abstract, is that they found fully human mitochondrial DNA. This is inherited from the mother. So apparently the mother of sasquatch is human. For me, this is a huge red flag, and discredites the rest of the paper right from the get-go. So no, I won't be paying 30 dollars for what will basically be cow manure in printed form.

 

[verysincere]

Coelacanth refers to an Order of fish. To put that into perspective, humans are in the Primate order.

So to say that we found a new Coelacanth, would be like extraterrestrials coming in the future and finding a new Primate, when they thought Primates were extinct. Ok, well what kind of Primate? Well, it's very similar to ancient primates, but it is different enough that it is not the same species as any in the fossil record.

In case anyone confuses the issue: the coelacanth species found as fossils were very different from modern coelacanths.

Journalists like to use the term "living fossil"----and evolution-deniers seize on it as if it somehow contradicts evolution. (Yes, that is an idiotic assumption.) Scientists simply thought the entire order had gone extinct. But eventually some modern species were found in the Indian Ocean.

 

[46AND2]

In case anyone confuses the issue: the coelacanth species found as fossils were very different from modern coelacanths.

Journalists like to use the term "living fossil"----and evolution-deniers seize on it as if it somehow contradicts evolution. (Yes, that is an idiotic assumption.) Scientists simply thought the entire order had gone extinct. But eventually some modern species were found in the Indian Ocean.

yes, I could have worded that better. thank you.

Suffice it to say that the modern coelacanths are not even in the same genus as their fossil predecessors, let alone species. This indicates that there are significant enough morphological differences to be unable to classify them in the same genus.

Comparing this to hominid classification, that would be akin to the differences between Homo and Australopithecus.