sandwich generation

[mama2one]

if you are sandwiched between elderly parents and elementary or younger children,
who do you give priority?

OR if not sandwiched, who do you think gets priority?


keep in mind you as a person have only so much energy/time

 

[pleinmont]

if you are sandwiched between elderly parents and elementary or younger children,
who do you give priority?

OR if not sandwiched, who do you think gets priority?


keep in mind you as a person have only so much energy/time

Children should always take priority, imo. My siblings and I ensured our parents went into excellent care homes when they were no long capable of looking after themselves.

 

[SkyWriting]

if you are sandwiched between elderly parents and elementary or younger children,
who do you give priority?

OR if not sandwiched, who do you think gets priority?


keep in mind you as a person have only so much energy/time

Children always get the priority.
When we marry, we leave our parents. As one example.
As another, we can divorce our parents, but our kids
very rarely get divorced from us, no matter how bad it gets.

 

[mama2one]

however, there is no commandment regarding children while there is one for parents

doesn't that mean parents take priority?

(putting that out for debate)

 

[“Paisios”]

if you are sandwiched between elderly parents and elementary or younger children,
who do you give priority?

OR if not sandwiched, who do you think gets priority?


keep in mind you as a person have only so much energy/time

My experience was that it varied at different times dependent on needs. Certainly when my children were younger, they were usually our first priority.

Most of our vacations were spent visiting my parents - our whole family (my wife, me and the kids) made spending time with them a high priority.

But when they were teenagers, after my mother’s death, my father got ill and was unable to care for himself, so my wife left us for six months to care for him at his home, until it became too much for her even with home care assistance, and we had to place him in a nursing home.

After first my mother’s, then my father’s death, our focus turned back to our now adult children, as we all grieved the loss.

It is definitely a balancing act, and not an either-or situation (and there is NEVER enough time or energy or wisdom, so I am sure we made made many mistakes).

 

[mama2one]

"My siblings and I ensured our parents went into excellent care homes when they were no long capable of looking after themselves". @pleinmont


thing is my parents refuse to leave their house & want to stay there forever
when we were young, one parent made us promise to never put them in a home

 

[pleinmont]

however, there is no commandment regarding children while there is one for parents

doesn't that mean parents take priority?

(putting that out for debate)

Definitely NOT, some of the so called 'commandments' are sensible like the 'thou shalt nots', but the 'thou shalts' aren't.

 

[*LILAC]

Generally, children get first priority as parents can usually fend for themselves.

However, if parents are aging and refusing to do what is best in their interest, you will have to bring in extra help. It annoys me to hear parents making their kids promise not to put them into a home. This puts their kids in a terrible spot and usually means they are stubborn-willed and refusing to accept change.

 

[pleinmont]

"My siblings and I ensured our parents went into excellent care homes when they were no long capable of looking after themselves". @pleinmont

thing is my parents refuse to leave their house & want to stay there forever
when we were young, one parent made us promise to never put them in a home

more than 1/2 of us siblings have younger kids and one who doesn't have kids lives across country

There is no way I could or would have cared for my parents in my own home, especially my mother, who did my head in. I would never in a million years expect my kids to care for me.

 

[“Paisios”]

however, there is no commandment regarding children while there is one for parents

Wouldn’t 1 Timothy 5:8 require us to care for our children?

 

[mama2one]

expect my child to marry/probably move away
would not want her to put life on hold for husband and I

we want to downsize & get out of two story as we see what is happening with our parents

all 4 of our parents have had falls so want to get rid of stairs for us
one parent has fallen down stairs twice going to basement

 

[SkyWriting]

however, there is no commandment regarding children while there is one for parents

doesn't that mean parents take priority?

(putting that out for debate)

I'll have to agree.

 

[SkyWriting]

expect my child to marry/probably move away
would not want her to put life on hold for husband and I

we want to downsize & get out of two story as we see what is happening with our parents

all 4 of our parents have had falls so want to get rid of stairs for us
one parent has fallen down stairs twice going to basement

Toddlers seem to have stronger bones at least.