Sad

[Taylor43]

I feel so lost. Yesturday i saw my counsellor she wants me to start volunteering i am trying to be so open but it is creating allot of fear. I have Cerebal Palsy and i am batteling IBS and a eating disorder. It takes allot for me to clean house, cook and look after my Grandpa.

I do not want to sound lazy neither does my counsellor but for some reason i am very confused I mean I would love too but i not feeling well at all.

Also i was talking to a friend she suggested i start sharing my deepest pain with my counsellor i think i have but i am so sad but also i am so scared to live in the past i want to live in the now. I am 23 have had allot of abuse i relize it takes time to heal. It aches to be rememberd I have forgiven my abusers. I do not know where to turn to. Thanks for letting me vent
Love
Taylor

 

[Frangible]

Wow, that was painful to just read, my heart goes out to you. I don't think anyone who's gone through what you have and still has time to look after someone is lazy at all.

Maybe you can ask your counselor about volunteering opportunities that would fit with your health and energy level, maybe something short-term at first that wouldn't be so overwhelming? Or maybe something flexible you could do when your energy levels pick up?

If you are feeling so much pain and sadness now, does your counselor know this? Can you contact them now and tell them how you're feeling?

And if memories of the past are so painful, then maybe you shouldn't live in them unless you have to or are directed to by your counselor. There's nothing wrong with living in the now, but if you still feel pain and sadness now, that's something you don't deserve, and is a problem that needs to be fixed.

Also, I'm not sure what you mean by counselor -- is that like a therapist in the US? If so, you might also want to consider seeing a psychiatrist as well if you haven't already -- they compliment behavioral therapy with medication as they deem necessary. It can help.

 

[Taylor43]

Wow, that was painful to just read, my heart goes out to you. I don't think anyone who's gone through what you have and still has time to look after someone is lazy at all.

Maybe you can ask your counselor about volunteering opportunities that would fit with your health and energy level, maybe something short-term at first that wouldn't be so overwhelming? Or maybe something flexible you could do when your energy levels pick up?

I will ask her about me not being put into a area that i cant cope. Right now just to get out of the house is hard, but she is trying to help me.

If you are feeling so much pain and sadness now, does your counselor know this? Can you contact them now and tell them how you're feeling?


No she does not know i am hurting right now, but i am seeing her today at church. Yes i can call her if i need to but i very confused in what to say. My friend triggered allot of emotions i have not felt in along time.

And if memories of the past are so painful, then maybe you shouldn't live in them unless you have to or are directed to by your counselor. There's nothing wrong with living in the now, but if you still feel pain and sadness now, that's something you don't deserve, and is a problem that needs to be fixed.


I agree with you and i am trying to not let my mind get so consumed with past memories. I hope it is only short term thing.

Also, I'm not sure what you mean by counselor -- is that like a therapist in the US? If so, you might also want to consider seeing a psychiatrist as well if you haven't already -- they compliment behavioral therapy with medication as they deem necessary. It can help.

I am seeing a pastoral counsellor she is a great for me and also seeing a pyschiatrist for meds and my eating disorder. Thanks for responding it helps me to know i am cared for i am home alone so it makes it harder right now.
Love
Taylor

 

[jesustheway]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. I think you should just tell your counselor how you really feel.

Nobody knows you better than you. If you feel overwhelmed by what's going on right now, just tell your counselor that you have too many responsibilities right now and don't feel well. I know if someone told me that I needed to do more work when I have too much on my plate already I would say, I'm sorry I have too many other things to take of right now, it's more than I can handle.

You are doing the right thing by forgiving your abusers. I know that I never began to heal until I forgave the people that hurt me in my life. For years I was full of bitterness, until I realized that I was only hurting myself.

We have to let go of the past and look toward the future. As the saying goes, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Amin]

I feel so lost. Yesturday i saw my counsellor she wants me to start volunteering i am trying to be so open but it is creating allot of fear. I have Cerebal Palsy and i am batteling IBS and a eating disorder. It takes allot for me to clean house, cook and look after my Grandpa.

I do not want to sound lazy neither does my counsellor but for some reason i am very confused I mean I would love too but i not feeling well at all.

Also i was talking to a friend she suggested i start sharing my deepest pain with my counsellor i think i have but i am so sad but also i am so scared to live in the past i want to live in the now. I am 23 have had allot of abuse i relize it takes time to heal. It aches to be rememberd I have forgiven my abusers. I do not know where to turn to. Thanks for letting me vent
Love
Taylor

I don't know but it seems like volunteering your time when it seems like you already have a lot to deal with is pushing things a little far. I don't know what they meant by volunteering, but when would you find the time? I know that taking care of a Grandparent is a demanding job both menyally and physically. I guess i would say do what you feel is going to benefit you the most, after all
you need to heal also.
Chuck.

 

[whitedove7]

I can so relate to the abuse and depression and not feeling well. I went through a lot of abuse in my past and had a lot of depression but did overcome. It didn't happen over night but I did walk it out when I learned to recognize and pay attention to my thought life. It was through the Lord's help and reading his word and claiming the promises for me even though at times I had a hard time believing those promises for myself. For a long time I didn't understand why I went through what I went through and blamed God didn't love me but I learned he did and that we live in a fallen world. Now, I've overcome and help others and so I would not trade those abuses. Even though I still have the memories, the pain is gone. I learned not to get caught up dwelling in the past but look ahead to the present and future. I also learned I had a broken heart. The Lord healed my broken heart. The good news is that now I can help others who have gone through all kinds of abuse and give them hope. It is when we loose hope we fall into depression.

Take one day at a time and start seeing good things ahead for you. Realize the Lord loves you and that he has a plan in your life even though the past is bleak.

Learn to recognize your thoughts and if they don't bring peace, then it is not coming from the Lord. In 2 Corinthians 10:5 it says to cast down anything that does not line up with God. It is a good scripture.

Be at peace.

 

[shlama]

I feel so lost. Yesturday i saw my counsellor she wants me to start volunteering i am trying to be so open but it is creating allot of fear. I have Cerebal Palsy and i am batteling IBS and a eating disorder. It takes allot for me to clean house, cook and look after my Grandpa.

I do not want to sound lazy neither does my counsellor but for some reason i am very confused I mean I would love too but i not feeling well at all.

Also i was talking to a friend she suggested i start sharing my deepest pain with my counsellor i think i have but i am so sad but also i am so scared to live in the past i want to live in the now. I am 23 have had allot of abuse i relize it takes time to heal. It aches to be rememberd I have forgiven my abusers. I do not know where to turn to. Thanks for letting me vent
Love
Taylor

Keeping you in prayer my sister.

GBU!

Shlama

 

[Amin]

I feel so lost. Yesturday i saw my counsellor she wants me to start volunteering i am trying to be so open but it is creating allot of fear. I have Cerebal Palsy and i am batteling IBS and a eating disorder. It takes allot for me to clean house, cook and look after my Grandpa.

I do not want to sound lazy neither does my counsellor but for some reason i am very confused I mean I would love too but i not feeling well at all.

Also i was talking to a friend she suggested i start sharing my deepest pain with my counsellor i think i have but i am so sad but also i am so scared to live in the past i want to live in the now. I am 23 have had allot of abuse i relize it takes time to heal. It aches to be rememberd I have forgiven my abusers. I do not know where to turn to. Thanks for letting me vent
Love
Taylor

Hi,
I was just wondering. Does the person that recommended volunteering know about your conditions and responsibilities that you have at home? It sounds to me like an awful lot to ask of a person.
Chuck.

 

[Amin]

Hi,
I was just wondering how things are going for you ? Better i hope.

 

[martinique]

Hi... I know I am new to CF and all, but my heart goes out to you! I battle clinical depression and ulcerative colitis, so I can share in that with you. One of my friends suffers from uc and recommended an eating plan that has really helped him. It helps those with IBS as well, so I got it for both my husband and me. It's called Breaking the Vicious Cycle, and I'd recommend it. I will pray for you.... I know how difficult it is...

 

[Amin]

I am seeing a pastoral counsellor she is a great for me and also seeing a pyschiatrist for meds and my eating disorder. Thanks for responding it helps me to know i am cared for i am home alone so it makes it harder right now.
Love
Taylor

Hi Taylor,
I was once again wondering how things are going for you. I really hope things start to turn around for you.
Take Care.
Chuck.