S.a.h.m.

[marezee]

And we both know who that is. I'm here praying for you MARE!


O.K. SAHMs....let's give ourselves permission for at least one whole day....to allow anyone who makes us feel like less than we are to bring us down on any level. Not today .

Maybe if we can manage one day, we will manage to do it for 2 days and so on and so on....

sounds like a plan to me!!! I will give it a try! I will start with today...

Today i went to my first MOPS meeting. I met some moms, had some coffee, did a craft. It was really nice. The only thing was that Jake did not want to stay in the nursery. So, I had to chase him about now and then. Hopefully, my MIL can watch him 2x/month...but I cannot count on it. Anyway, I am going to try to make it to these meetings this year if i can help it!!

 

[Kazamataz]

Thanks for all the encouragement guys!

My mum is a super super feminist my brother moved out of home when he was 16 because he felt mum discriminated against him because he was a boy!

I know that being a SAHM is whats right for my family and I know it's where God wants me to be.

Its just hard when your mum doesn't support you on it.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

Argh Kaz, that really sucks. I wish people would realise that we need encouragement not judgement!!!
Like her telling you that over and over knowing you've made your decision is going to help anyone!!
My mum is the same - not about being a sahm, but about my hubby!!

 

[KristiLee]

I understand what that's like.

One time I was asked if I was safe at home because I said I wanted to talk to dh first...

Another time I was told if I ever needed a place to "escape" that their door was open to me...

I'm thinking... my husband is the most loving and loyal man!?!? Some people really need to think their next thought before opening their mouth...

Oh well... we're blessed and happy in our family - others are only hurting themselves by worrying so much. I can't let it hinder our growth in Christ, nor our calling.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

I've had exactly the same things said to me kristilee, and I'm thinking, no my hubby doesn't manipulate me - you're trying to do it now!!! grrrrr...

Oh well... we're blessed and happy in our family - others are only hurting themselves by worrying so much.

Exactly, I'm happy, all I can do is live the best that I can and hopefully my actions will speak for themselves, obviously they don't listen to my words!!!

 

[KristiLee]

It's amazing to me...

My mom still talks about "when" I find work... I always tell her, "Mom, I'm not going to work, I'm already right where God wants me to be." She'll look into space for a minute and just look irritated.

She said "Oh no! Kristi!" when I told her we were pregnant with both of my babies. She had 6 and she so concerned that I will "lose" my life raising babies!!

How sad that having babies is viewed by so many as taking away from life??? I always thought that was what life was all about?? LOL The funny thing is, my mom contributed to me wanting a large family and to be a stay-at-home-Mom even before I was a Christian - because I loved that she was home when I was growing up. It impacted my life in a huge way, and we weren't raised in the most ideal situation either.

I guess that is why God said in Genesis 2:24 to leave the mother and father, to adhere to one another and become one. Alone, united and together without shame!

For such a time as this!

 

[Kazamataz]

Argh Kaz, that really sucks. I wish people would realise that we need encouragement not judgement!!!
Like her telling you that over and over knowing you've made your decision is going to help anyone!!
My mum is the same - not about being a sahm, but about my hubby!!

I understand what that's like.

One time I was asked if I was safe at home because I said I wanted to talk to dh first...

Another time I was told if I ever needed a place to "escape" that their door was open to me...

I'm thinking... my husband is the most loving and loyal man!?!? Some people really need to think their next thought before opening their mouth...
Oh well... we're blessed and happy in our family - others are only hurting themselves by worrying so much. I can't let it hinder our growth in Christ, nor our calling.

What is with people making assumptions about other peoples husbands?

My hubby is very quietly spoken and tends to be quite shy around those he doesnt know.

As where I'm the complete opposite, Leisamd will tell you I can talk the ear off a donkey.
Many a nights i have talked her ear off until she's fallen asleep and even then i still kept talking LOL

But seriously because Jesse is so quite everyone assumes he has no balls (pardon me) and that I must run the show.

When in reality we are a partnership in everything we do we talk about it pray about it and come up with a decision together.

I don't understand where the whole idea that one partner must be in charge of the other comes from?

I always thought in any relationship it was a two way street.

 

[Kazamataz]

She said "Oh no! Kristi!" when I told her we were pregnant with both of my babies. She had 6 and she so concerned that I will "lose" my life raising babies!!

Isn't that awful! My MIL tried to get me to consider an abortion she said my marriage wouldn't survive a child!
My sister agreed with her, isn't that terrible?

They look at children like a child they are some sort of problem you have to deal with for the next 20 or so year and not as the blessing they truly are.

And whats with the whole losing your life in babies comment?
Becoming a mum doesn't mean you lose yourself it just means you move to a new phase in your life.

I seriously don't understand some people

 

[faithmom]

Here is an even wilder concept. What if it does mean we lose ourselves on some level. What if that is part of our calling and vocation by God, to give part of ourselves to the people he gifts to us as family.

Our marriage and our children are people God chose for us, and entrusted us to nurture and care for...a living gift from him.

And on some level, yes, we all have to sacrifice and let go of who we are, BUT don't we BECOME someone new, redefined, and remolded by the experiences? Isn't the letting go of "seeing ourself as the CENTER", then, instead, "seeing ourselves as a PART-OF" exactly the kind of maturing of the soul that God asks of us to do to prepare for eternity with him?

Yep, I've lost a certain part of myself, but I don't know if I really want that part back. The talents and skills of my pre-family days are still there, but the need to use them for JUST ME is not a part of my make-up any longer.

Do I still need some sense of individuality and some down-time now and then? Yes, but keep me away from my family too long, and I get heart sick pretty quickly. I have been redefined.

IMHO.

 

[marezee]

Amen Faithmom!! I agree with all that you have said! I cannot stand to be away from my boys or DH for a long time! If I get away for four hours, I start wanting to come home and hug them! It was really bad when I needed to travel to PA to see my grandmother, and my family couldn't come. I was "heart sickj" as you called it! So what if we love our families soooooo much??? I think people just get a bit jealous that they may not feel the same love for their families. It's our Christian duty to let that love shine through us for all to see!

 

[KristiLee]

I don't understand where the whole idea that one partner must be in charge of the other comes from?

I think the misunderstanding of the word submit and taking it out of context started this. Many read "wives submit to your own husbands, be their helpmeet" (not quoted exactly) but do not read on and immediately they say "Pshshh" and then miss that the husband has a role as well... a loving and loyal role to provide and protect and care for... parallel to that of Christ toward the church.

Just as we must seek after how we can best help our husbands, our husbands, when called to do so by God, are to seek after how they can best love us the way we need love and feel love; to protect us and provide for us. Both are equally just as much work but ultimately we need to seek first the Kingdom of God, and truly every area of your life will be blessed. Including marriage. God is not a man that he should lie - we can trust these promises He gives us! (Matthew 6:33; Numbers 19:23)

They look at children like a child they are some sort of problem you have to deal with for the next 20 or so year and not as the blessing they truly are.

And whats with the whole losing your life in babies comment?
Becoming a mum doesn't mean you lose yourself it just means you move to a new phase in your life.

Having children is not a disease or an illness. LOL It is what helps us to become selfless... I know for me it has certainly helped me understand God and his unconditional love for his children, even if I don't know completely, having a smaller scale of understanding is what helps us grow and love more in all areas of our lives.

What kind of life was I living before my babies were born? Selfish. Simply put I was so very selfish. I found who I was in Christ when I had my babies - so for me, my babies were the beginning of my life... and now as I'm learning to be a better child of God, it helps me to become a better wife to my husband and a mom to my kids; and better whatever to whoever in my life. The Bible is so full of depth and greatness, that it truly holds the very answer to every struggle in one's life. What "self-help" book can you find that in??

Wow. Praise God!

 

[KristiLee]

Here is an even wilder concept. What if it does mean we lose ourselves on some level. What if that is part of our calling and vocation by God, to give part of ourselves to the people he gifts to us as family.

Our marriage and our children are people God chose for us, and entrusted us to nurture and care for...a living gift from him.

And on some level, yes, we all have to sacrifice and let go of who we are, BUT don't we BECOME someone new, redefined, and remolded by the experiences? Isn't the letting go of "seeing ourself as the CENTER", then, instead, "seeing ourselves as a PART-OF" exactly the kind of maturing of the soul that God asks of us to do to prepare for eternity with him?

Yep, I've lost a certain part of myself, but I don't know if I really want that part back. The talents and skills of my pre-family days are still there, but the need to use them for JUST ME is not a part of my make-up any longer.

Do I still need some sense of individuality and some down-time now and then? Yes, but keep me away from my family too long, and I get heart sick pretty quickly. I have been redefined.

IMHO.

Preach it sister!

 

[KristiLee]

OH! I wanted to share what happened the other day!

After catching the end of "A Baby Story, I had to explain to dd#1 why the woman was screaming and reassure her that it was okay, that she would be holding her baby soon. I said she was pushing with all her might so her baby would come out of her belly and she could hold her sweet gift from God in her arms.

She then asked me if I had a baby in my belly.

I said, "No, there's no baby in there that I know of, but I might have a baby in there someday. Like I did with you and Karyn!

She said, "I have a baby in my belly?!"

I said, "No, hunny; but someday if you get married, you might have babies in your belly."

She asked, "If you marry me I can have a baby in my belly!?"

I had to pause and smile and think up what to say next. I rubbed her cheek with a smile.

Finally after a few moments to pray I said, “Hunny, someday God might bring a man for you to marry and if he does he will be just right for you. Then after you marry him [insert lots of fun and wonderful things about weddings here], when you two have prayed together and talked to God, maybe then God will bless you with babies to your hearts content!

She replied with, “Really!? I’d love that!” LOL It absolutely blessed my heart! We hugged and then I told her about how much I love her and how glad I am that God blessed me with her.

She was one big smile…

 

[marezee]

awww that's so sweet kristielee!!

 

[faithmom]

yep, birds and bees talks. They get very interesting sometimes.

Last week, our son, age 6, asked about our Dogs female parts when she was sitting down in a way for all to see.

So, I explained.

Then he wanted to know if the parts look the same on his sisters!

It was not helping that his sisters were rolling on the floor laughing hysterically during all of this!

I got through it by taking out a faithbased your-body-is-changing book that we have, but it was not the most composed of bird'n'bees talks that I have had with my kids.

 

[marezee]

yep, birds and bees talks. They get very interesting sometimes.

Last week, our son, age 6, asked about our Dogs female parts when she was sitting down in a way for all to see.

So, I explained.

Then he wanted to know if the parts look the same on his sisters!

It was not helping that his sisters were rolling on the floor laughing hysterically during all of this!

I got through it by taking out a faithbased your-body-is-changing book that we have, but it was not the most composed of bird'n'bees talks that I have had with my kids.

LOL!!! I'm ROFL TOO!!!!

 

[Surrender2Win]

Then he wanted to know if the parts look the same on his sisters!

It was not helping that his sisters were rolling on the floor laughing hysterically during all of this!

ok...how did you not fall to the floor laughing when he asked if it looked the same on his sisters??

kids are just so sweet and innocent! I am just so amused with this story, thanks for sharing! lol

 

[KristiLee]

Editted: I felt it was too much information... sorry!!

 

[Kazamataz]

Here is an even wilder concept. What if it does mean we lose ourselves on some level. What if that is part of our calling and vocation by God, to give part of ourselves to the people he gifts to us as family.

Our marriage and our children are people God chose for us, and entrusted us to nurture and care for...a living gift from him.

And on some level, yes, we all have to sacrifice and let go of who we are, BUT don't we BECOME someone new, redefined, and remolded by the experiences? Isn't the letting go of "seeing ourself as the CENTER", then, instead, "seeing ourselves as a PART-OF" exactly the kind of maturing of the soul that God asks of us to do to prepare for eternity with him?

Yep, I've lost a certain part of myself, but I don't know if I really want that part back. The talents and skills of my pre-family days are still there, but the need to use them for JUST ME is not a part of my make-up any longer.

Do I still need some sense of individuality and some down-time now and then? Yes, but keep me away from my family too long, and I get heart sick pretty quickly. I have been redefined.

IMHO.

I think I must be a very different kind of parent to the average because i really don't feel like I've lost anything by having Asher.

I'm still me and I'm still all here, My priorities may have changed and My time is consumed with different things but nothing of me is missing.

 

[Kazamataz]

OH! I wanted to share what happened the other day!

After catching the end of "A Baby Story, I had to explain to dd#1 why the woman was screaming and reassure her that it was okay, that she would be holding her baby soon. I said she was pushing with all her might so her baby would come out of her belly and she could hold her sweet gift from God in her arms.

She then asked me if I had a baby in my belly.

I said, "No, there's no baby in there that I know of, but I might have a baby in there someday. Like I did with you and Karyn!

She said, "I have a baby in my belly?!"

I said, "No, hunny; but someday if you get married, you might have babies in your belly."

She asked, "If you marry me I can have a baby in my belly!?"

I had to pause and smile and think up what to say next. I rubbed her cheek with a smile.

Finally after a few moments to pray I said, “Hunny, someday God might bring a man for you to marry and if he does he will be just right for you. Then after you marry him [insert lots of fun and wonderful things about weddings here], when you two have prayed together and talked to God, maybe then God will bless you with babies to your hearts content!

She replied with, “Really!? I’d love that!” LOL It absolutely blessed my heart! We hugged and then I told her about how much I love her and how glad I am that God blessed me with her.

She was one big smile…

That is so cute!

Can't wait till Ash starts asking me about things like that, will be very funny and cute all rolled into one :0)