S.a.h.m.

[marezee]

I'm a home schooling mom, the only way for me to get a moment alone is to leave the kids with hubs and go off on my own. When I do that (which is once a week) I usually go get a latte , and then go for a ride and usually end up browsing around different stores where I can't buy anything!

I'd like to do that!

 

[faithmom]

Good morning SAHMs. Hugs all around!

 

[ksbriscoe]

I am a SHAM with 2 girls under 4... they are only 18mo apart. I worked before I had dd#1 but got so ill during my pregency that I had to quit. I tried the sham thing with her but couldn't hack it. Ppl think its easy and it NOT!!!! So I went back to work for only a short time when I found out I was prego with dd#2 and once again had to quit (dr orders) because I was too ill to work. After I had dd#2 God instilled in my heart that beign a sham was to be my full time job. I LOVE it now. I have so much fun with my girls and enjoy staying at home. I'm busier now then I was at any paying job. I am hoping to start my own business after they start school, but that is a few years down the road. But all in all I take a chocolate milk kiss over a fat paycheck any day!!!

 

[faithmom]

It's true, people really do think that the SAHM thing is not as much work as it is unless they have done it. I often catch the (ooops) remarks from parents that work which imply that I have it so easy compared to them.

I worked for two months after my maternity leave with my first. SO, I can compare the two. I'd take her to day care, I would go to work, hubby would go to work, one of us would pick her up, and come home to a house that was clean.....no one had been there all day!

I had extra money to order in take-out or go out, to bring my nice professional clothes to the dry cleaners, and even some of my casual clothes. (everything in my life is wash'n'wear now LOL!) She was at the day care long enough in a day, so I could fit in a dentist apt, a work out, to pick up the groceries, buy diapers run errands. When I came home, either I had to take her, skip it, or go during the hours I should be sleeping.

I had 2 15 minute-a-day and a 1/2 an hour lunch breaks with my work.....there are no breaks as a SAHM.

On sleep...my hubby and I would alternate getting up with her at night, so we would each get one night of full sleep every other night, but when I came home, I became the one who got up every night, so he could make up for our lost income at work.

Socially, when I worked, I talked to adults about complex interresting issues all day. When I came home, I would crave uninterrupted grown-up conversation about grown-up issues. I could meet with other moms, but really, my attention needed to be constantly on her (and soon after our 2nd, then 3rd child).

If I was sick, I took a day off from work (paid!), while she went to day care. When you are a SAHM, you still keep working when you get sick.

And here is the weird thing. WHEN YOU ARE A NEW MOM, WHO WORKS, people offer to help out, babysit, cook a meal. When you come home, and need a break, no one offers anymore, they figure you have it made and life is easy...just hanging out playing with your kids.

From experience, I can say, being a SAHM is more exhausting physically and often emotionally than it was as a working parent. BUT spiritually and maternally, it far outweighed anything I ever gained from my job.

I will never regret that I came home, and I will never have that chance again, though I can always find a job when the kids grow up and leave.

 

[marezee]

It's true, people really do think that the SAHM thing is not as much work as it is unless they have done it. I often catch the (ooops) remarks from parents that work which imply that I have it so easy compared to them.

I worked for two months after my maternity leave with my first. SO, I can compare the two. I'd take her to day care, I would go to work, hubby would go to work, one of us would pick her up, and come home to a house that was clean.....no one had been there all day!

I had extra money to order in take-out or go out, to bring my nice professional clothes to the dry cleaners, and even some of my casual clothes. (everything in my life is wash'n'wear now LOL!) She was at the day care long enough in a day, so I could fit in a dentist apt, a work out, to pick up the groceries, buy diapers run errands. When I came home, either I had to take her, skip it, or go during the hours I should be sleeping.

I had 2 15 minute-a-day and a 1/2 an hour lunch breaks with my work.....there are no breaks as a SAHM.

On sleep...my hubby and I would alternate getting up with her at night, so we would each get one night of full sleep every other night, but when I came home, I became the one who got up every night, so he could make up for our lost income at work.

Socially, when I worked, I talked to adults about complex interresting issues all day. When I came home, I would crave uninterrupted grown-up conversation about grown-up issues. I could meet with other moms, but really, my attention needed to be constantly on her (and soon after our 2nd, then 3rd child).

If I was sick, I took a day off from work (paid!), while she went to day care. When you are a SAHM, you still keep working when you get sick.

And here is the weird thing. WHEN YOU ARE A NEW MOM, WHO WORKS, people offer to help out, babysit, cook a meal. When you come home, and need a break, no one offers anymore, they figure you have it made and life is easy...just hanging out playing with your kids.

From experience, I can say, being a SAHM is more exhausting physically and often emotionally than it was as a working parent. BUT spiritually and maternally, it far outweighed anything I ever gained from my job.

I will never regret that I came home, and I will never have that chance again, though I can always find a job when the kids grow up and leave.

well Faith...you have said it all!! AMEN!

 

[KristiLee]

I think though too, I would never want to be the working mom... to have all the responsibilities of a wife and mom ON TOP OF working outside the home... not spending time with the kids so the time spent with them is fixing them or letting them get away with things because you feel bad for the little amount of time you have... not to mention I don't like the idea of daycares/schools raising my kids when it is my job to raise my kids.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

 

[Moms4Christ]

I'm a SAHM/WAHM mom of a 16 yr old and a 9 yr old. I also homeschool them. I used to work for a large financial institution but quit last November to stay home with the kids. I didn't have to work but I really enjoyed having the adult interaction. I miss it but I know that it was in my children's best interest for me to come home.

My daughter was failing miserably in public school, her teacher was a real witch and my daughter started hating school because of this. My son is academically gifted and pretty much self-taught. He is taking college courses now so he will be out of the house as soon as he finishes high school to attend a university.

There are still days I wish I could go back to work but I know right now this is where God wants me to be. I'm fine with it more than I was a few months ago. I was depressed for a while. I felt like I was "wasting" my skills by not using them. Then God told me that anything having to do with my kids was not time wasted. So here I am.

 

[KristiLee]

What a lie from Satan??! Amen? Caring for our kids; raising them to be children of God and functional people in society is NOT wasted skill. Consider the mental, emotional, and physical work that is required for a SAHM. I don't think we could get a better dynamic of exercise in any workplace.

 

[Moms4Christ]

Oh, absolutely, KristiLee. Satan will do anything to confuse us and keep us from doing God's will in our lives.

Now I thank the good Lord every day for giving my husband a job where I can afford to stay home. I know many mothers at my old job wanted to be home with their children but could not afford it.

I'm so much closer to my kids now. Also, I believe older kids need their parents more which is contrary to what many believe. A lot of parents go back to work when the kids are older and that's when the trouble begins. I don't know of too many 3 or 4 year olds that go out drinking with friends due to peer pressure but teens nowadays are under a lot of that.

I'm glad and praise the good Lord that I am at home now.

 

[Redstiletto]

Well now I dont work, so until I find another job I am a SAHM!

 

[Leanna]

I think though too, I would never want to be the working mom... to have all the responsibilities of a wife and mom ON TOP OF working outside the home... not spending time with the kids so the time spent with them is fixing them or letting them get away with things because you feel bad for the little amount of time you have... not to mention I don't like the idea of daycares/schools raising my kids when it is my job to raise my kids.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

What a lie from Satan??! Amen? Caring for our kids; raising them to be children of God and functional people in society is NOT wasted skill. Consider the mental, emotional, and physical work that is required for a SAHM. I don't think we could get a better dynamic of exercise in any workplace.

I'm with you and I think over these last 3 years I have really grown as a woman and wife. This does take skill and being a SAHM can be what you make it.... you can do a lot, or a little in everything, you can put in as much effort and challenge yourself as much as you choose. You have to self-motivate despite no paycheck. You have to roll with the seasons, laying in with the new baby, making clear boundaries with the preschooler.... meanwhile everyone thinks you are at home just not having a job. Its really too bad. I don't like the idea of daycares raising my children either, I get to be an important part of that and relay all of the little fun stories to my husband that I would never have heard about if he had been in day care with someone else.

 

[faithmom]

Amen, and again I say Amen to all of you!

Isn't it nice to have GROWNUPS here who we can talk to (thanks for making this thread Marezee!)

Even now, that my kids are all in school and gone for a part of the day, I don't quite want to give up the ability to be available for them when they are sick, and in the before and after school hours. (So, now I am working part time out of our home for my hubby's business).

Illinioismommy....what you just said is so true, and my hubby just thanked merecently, for being there for our daughter as she begins to sort through moral issues when it comes to her friends. It demands time and attention, that might not be available if our family life was crammed into a few moments before bed. He also thanked me that, because I am with them, and he comes home to dinner at 6, on school nights they go to bed by 8 (our older ones can stay up to read if they aren't tired, don't have homework or arent' sick). He appreciates that because then he and I have a couple of hours to reconnect (stop giggling.....I mean that in all of the possilbe senses of the word, including watching TV and talking!!!!! and the other thing too .)

 

[KristiLee]

I've witnessed all of my kids' firsts. I've taught my kids their manners. I was there every time they were sick. I hear their cries even when they aren't with me! I think that is important for them as well! They don't need me and I think it has to do with their security that I'm not going anywhere. They know that I'm always going to be here so they feel free to enjoy everything else.

 

[super mom]

i have been a stay at home mom for quite a while i have two boys one is two and the other is 15 months old now and i am pregnant again and i soon have to change to being a working mom for a bit till baby is here. because we are short on money for bills. it is hard for me to leave my kids with a daycare provider especially the youngest because we alomost lost him twice he has had three surgeries in his firsrt year. however we just got out of the homeless shelter like a month ago and are having a hard time staying on our feetas of yet

 

[faithmom]

i have been a stay at home mom for quite a while i have two boys one is two and the other is 15 months old now and i am pregnant again and i soon have to change to being a working mom for a bit till baby is here. because we are short on money for bills. it is hard for me to leave my kids with a daycare provider especially the youngest because we alomost lost him twice he has had three surgeries in his firsrt year. however we just got out of the homeless shelter like a month ago and are having a hard time staying on our feetas of yet

My prayers are with you....absolutely feeding your family and keeping a roof overhead is your first priority for you and your children. Bless you for being a rock of inner strength and determination to get through the challenges you are facing. I thank God every day that my husband was able to run a business that provides for us. I pray for you to be given every path that God longs for you to have and follow. No choices are easy, and all of us have different options. We are here to hear you and support you. Still come here when you are working. O.K.?

 

[marezee]

yes! super mom! you are welcome, even if you have to work for a bit!! Life isn't easy and we all need the support of other women in our lives! I will pray for you and your family!

(you are welcome for the thread faith! It's a bit selfish too! LOL!) I need fellowship too! And it really is nice to know that I will be here if the boys ever need me!

 

[faithmom]

So...when daughter has a friend here, because her mother had to work late....am I now the stay at home mom of 4? JK!

 

[marezee]

So...when daughter has a friend here, because her mother had to work late....am I now the stay at home mom of 4? JK!

i suppose...maybe....NAAAHHHHH! LOL!

 

[faithmom]

Welllll. I am helping her with her math now. She will probably be here for dinner.

In reality I look at it this way. It is because I am here, and the kids can have their friends here, that I have some clue as to what is happenning in their pre-teen lives.

 

[KristiLee]

Ladies what are some things that you LOVE about your day with the kids? Any particular memories you cherish?

(I don't remember if I shared this before or not... but I'll share it again anyway! )My 3 y/o one day as she sat in the big recliner watching tv asked, "Excuse me, Mother?" (She says this every once in a while since she discovered I'm a mother, daddy is a father, Gramma is a grandmother and so on). I said, "Yes babe?" To which she asked, "Mama, uhh.. what's the plan?" LOL!

She can recite Romans 8:35 - it truly has to be the most precious thing I've heard to hear scripture come out of the mouth of a child.

She asks if she can watch "Molar Espress" AKA "Polar Express."

"Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Ma----" "Excuse me." I interrupt, firmly but softly. "Excuse me, Mother?" Intentionally I wait a moment to show her to wait and then I say "Yes, babe?" "Uhave pleasah can I havuh X?"