rude comments

[dobieman0488]

we've told our family about our coming baby, my parents are ok now, theyre just afraid it's too soon. my one neighbor, hwoeverm was extremely rude, "don't you know what a condom is?", etc, argh. people

 

[Genuine]

we've told our family about our coming baby, my parents are ok now, theyre just afraid it's too soon. my one neighbor, hwoeverm was extremely rude, "don't you know what a condom is?", etc, argh. people

Seriously?! How rude. You should ask your neighbor if they know how to hold their tongue.

 

[Xgthug]

I've had similar comments made, although you've got a couple years on me dude.
I was 19 (almost 20) when my daughter was born, though I was married. (I also received a lot of criticism for getting married young, too... despite having a job and my own house)

Just shrug it off. Don't let anyone steal a moment of excitement from you. It's not worth getting all riled up over. You have a lot to look forward to. It's a little rough at first, but once your kid hits 3-4 months it's pretty easy, and a lot more rewarding.

I wish you luck.

Is it a boy or a girl? (or too early to tell?)

 

[Singermom]

When my WH and I were married just over a year, I became pregnant. We were thrilled beyond belief! When we told my MIL, she YELLED at me for making her a grandmother too soon (for the record, my WH & I were 26 and 22, respectively)!

We lost the baby...she said nothing, but bought us new pillows.

Less than a year later my husband's sister announced that she and her husband were expecting, and my MIL was THRILLED.

All that is NOTHING compared to some of the snide comments we faced in the subsequent years of childlessness we faced, until we had out first child 17 years after we married:

"Well, practice makes perfect."
"It must be lots of fun practicing!"
"The world is overpopulated anyway."

Grrr...

 

[Lena75]

Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut and mind their own business.

When I was pregnant with my first-born, I was 20, had been married just over a year and when we were in the hospital, the nurses assumed that I was an unmarried 16 year old and my husband was my boyfriend. My husband then told them that we were married and they started treating me better right away! "You look so young to be having a baby!" Yeah, yeah, tell me that after the kid's born!

Sure enough, after my son was born a friend of mine told me "how old" I looked!

Get ready to grow some thick skin 'cause you're gonna need it. Let it in one ear, then out the other. Except for the doctor's office!

 

[FallenPaladin]

Tell your neighbor it just feels better without condoms and the welfare check should be higher too once the little one arrives. I like to prick the conceit of annoying people if you couldn't tell. I wish I had your neighbors. It would be fun.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Wow, people are so dumb.

 

[LovesToBless]

I'm sorry, you're right, that is very rude.

It seems whether you have kids or not, the comments people feel so very free to say are all too often insensitive and just plain rude. We did run into rude comments when we weren't having children yet, and many friends were. It was actually very hurtful.

I agree with the rest of the advice...move past it and enjoy the excitement of having your baby. Oh, and maybe share less with those people in the future.

 

[Mayzoo]

Congrats again. However, sadly you will have to get used to people and their dumb/ignorant/rude comments. Had you waited a long time as we did (12 years to her birth) then they would have had rude comments to that as well ie: "we can get you a how too video" etc....

My daughter has special needs that involve her being in debilitating pain at times. One of those times I was trying to get us out of Walmart to tend to her, and a passerby commented on how I "ought to be proud I am raising a total brat" because she was crying pain.

People either think they are "funny" or they are simply ignorant or mean. I prefer to assume most are ignorant rather than mean. It makes it easier in the long run

 

[illudium_phosdex]

We didn't get too many snide comments when I was pregnant and had our first. We'd been married 3 years and were 37 and 28 respectively.

Boy did that change with my second though. I had already decided before my daughter was even born that I wanted the second immediately. When I announced around the time my daughter was 4 months old that I was pregnant again, I got a lot of, "Are you crazy???!!!!"; "You guys are old enough to know better."; "Do you really think you can handle two babies?" and yes, "Do you know what birth control is???" Even my OB/GYN gave me a lot of grief about having them so close together.

Guess what though? I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[moonkitty]

When my WH and I were married just over a year, I became pregnant. We were thrilled beyond belief! When we told my MIL, she YELLED at me for making her a grandmother too soon (for the record, my WH & I were 26 and 22, respectively)!

We lost the baby...she said nothing, but bought us new pillows.

Less than a year later my husband's sister announced that she and her husband were expecting, and my MIL was THRILLED.

All that is NOTHING compared to some of the snide comments we faced in the subsequent years of childlessness we faced, until we had out first child 17 years after we married:

"Well, practice makes perfect."
"It must be lots of fun practicing!"
"The world is overpopulated anyway."

Grrr...

Off topic, I get that DH means dear/darling husband, and with the WH I get that the H stands for husband, but may I ask what the "W" means? I have not been keeping up with my internet shorthand and this is a new one.

 

[Everlasting33]

Becoming angry and irritated only means you have allowed the comment to offend you. The comment was certainly insensitive and rude and you probably felt judged in some way. What was behind that comment? Well, the person thinks you are probably too young to have children. And why would that be? Generally, the older a parent is the more wise and stable.

And if you have doubts yourself, this comment will only stir the thought: what if he/she right?

Do not be dragged into the judgment by others. We often engage this judgment by defense or anger and that serves only to lengthen the strong emotions.

 

[dobieman0488]

I'm a little worried about it, an d sarah's already getting really emotional and having some morning sickness, this comment didn't help any. it's gonna be a lot of comfort cuddling and holding her hair back for the next 2ish months, but hey, that's what im here for

 

[Mayzoo]

Off topic, I get that DH means dear/darling husband, and with the WH I get that the H stands for husband, but may I ask what the "W" means? I have not been keeping up with my internet shorthand and this is a new one.

I may be wrong, but I read it as "wonderful husband".

 

[Everlasting33]

I'm a little worried about it, an d sarah's already getting really emotional and having some morning sickness, this comment didn't help any. it's gonna be a lot of comfort cuddling and holding her hair back for the next 2ish months, but hey, that's what im here for

It didn't help and people who make such comments are especially judgmental toward themselves. Instead of encouragement and sensitivity, they would rather express condemnation.

No matter if you are 22, 26, or 35 having a child can be quite scary and overwhelming. One of the top stressors in life is getting married and having a child. Both are very positive but the adjustments can cause stress.

Understand this. Be kind and patient with yourself. This is a lot to take in, for sure. However, you have our support, God's strength, and each other.

Your attitude will be one of the most important attributes. Do your best to find humor in whatever you do!

Praying for you.

 

[dobieman0488]

I just wouldn't mind the comments if it didn't effect my girl. but it is, sarah cried about it last night, if you make my wife cry, it's a problem

 

[NiamhDhabolt]

My daughter has special needs that involve her being in debilitating pain at times. One of those times I was trying to get us out of Walmart to tend to her, and a passerby commented on how I "ought to be proud I am raising a total brat" because she was crying pain.

That's horrible! I'm so sorry someone said that to you!

 

[janman345]

we've told our family about our coming baby, my parents are ok now, theyre just afraid it's too soon. my one neighbor, hwoeverm was extremely rude, "don't you know what a condom is?", etc, argh. people

Why do they even care, the only thing I talk to my neighbor about is remodeling stuff, how much her new windows cost etc so I can get a base line. Maybe we should be more involved with our neighbors but you cant have involvement without some rights to speak your mind as well. Otherwise just be the guy that says hi at the mail box or whatever.

 

[Singermom]

Becoming angry and irritated only means you have allowed the comment to offend you. The comment was certainly insensitive and rude and you probably felt judged in some way. What was behind that comment? Well, the person thinks you are probably too young to have children. And why would that be? Generally, the older a parent is the more wise and stable.

What about the people who comment, "Aren't you a little OLD for this? Do you realize how old you'll be when your kids graduate?" I got those.

People always have to come down on someone...rain on their parade. I, personally, have made it a point that, whenever I knew someone who was pregnant, to be as affirming and positive as I could be...no horror stories (not that I had any...I had 2 DREAM pregnancies), no snide comments, etc.

(...and yes, "WH" stands for "Wonderful Husband". I got it from another forum and rather like it.)

 

[blythe_ann]

I just wouldn't mind the comments if it didn't effect my girl. but it is, sarah cried about it last night, if you make my wife cry, it's a problem

That's very sweet.

Romans 12:20 really applies well here... heap burning coals of shame on the commenting party's head by showing them kindness and giving the comment no mind.
Though, admittedly, I've made snide remarks back about as often as being kind. I don't take sarcasm well, especially in question format, so I usually respond with text book definitions. Yes, I do know what a condom is, and here is the definition, use and brand names to boot. There are such things as stupid questions, and I am happy to give a stupid answer.

I hope your wife will be able to look past that comment and enjoy being pregnant. Congrats again.