Routine Vs No routines...

[Called2Grace]

I am excited for you!! I think it is awesome that you feel that way about breastfeeding...many women feel overwhelmed by that thougght.

I think even with a new baby you can develop a rhythm to your day, which will be of great use to Susan as well. In fact if you can develop a bit of a rhythm to your day before baby-it might help Susan transition. But again something like: wake up, have breakfast, clean table (Susan helps), craft time, outside play, TV time-- lunchtime, booktime, naptime...etc.

In there- just nurse babe whenever he's hungry..and of that scheduleisn't working because say craft time coincides with a nurse a thon everyday--switch TV time and craft time.

Part of the challenge of the first few weeks is precisely the one of "organising" baby--that task is made simpler if you have a pretty good rhythm to your day.

Can I urge you to make it a quest to learn how to nurse lying on your side--to me that is the single most important tool in making breastfeeding work LOL!

Your sleeping arrangements sound great--and leaves you with lots of options to decide what's working best--remember not to put guilt upon yourself for whatever choices you make--the right choice is where everyone gets the most sleep-at least in my opinion.

ooohhh I can't wait for you to have your baby!!

I bit the bullet last night to talk to DH about the sleeping arrangements for when the baby arrives, I wasn't sure how he would react, but he was really good about it. We used to have a lounge thing which we had between our bed and the wall when DD was in with us most nights, and it gave us extra room, so we talked about how to set it up again, on DH;s side this time. We just need to get something to go underneath to boost it up a little as we have a new bed now and it is a bit higher. I was so relieved, mainly becuase I wasn't sure how we would fit DH and I plus the baby plus DD, as she has been spending a bit more time with us lately, and she may also be a little more like this when the baby comes, not sure how she will go with the transition

I'm really excited about it too!! I just have to move a few things around to get my rocking chair into the bedroom, and although I alread have a sling, I'm thinking about getting another kind, just so that we have a couple to try out.

I';m not used to using a sling, as I didn't really use one with DD, but do they sleep all the time in one? I suppose when they are newborn they will sleep most of the time anyway?

I feel like this is my first time again! It has been so long since Susie was a baby...She started preschool today....Even though she goes to family day care twice a week, we added one day of preschool to get her used to a larger group of kids (She starts kindergarten in January) and as a lot of these kids will be going to her school, so she will have some friends already. We had a special dinner last night, she made rissoles (her choice, probably becuase she gets to get her hands all gross!)
So we dropped her off, and even though it is only one day a week and only preschool, it is sad for me! DH doesn't really understand, but it is one step closer to school! Which is one step closer to growing up!

I have thought about homeschooling, but it isn't right for our family at this time.
ANyway I guess I have gotten a bit off topic here!

I will start to incorporate some sort of flow to the days that we are at home together, it will also help me with my housework routines, and she is at the age where she loves to help, so there is stuff that we can get done together.

I bought some flower seeds that we are going to plant too, so that should be really good! And she loves craft!! (I'm not that good at it though, generally her stuff is better than mine!)

 

[lin1235]

We started out with dd on a strict schedule like the 1st one you describe. It worked for a while (4 weeks or so) but it was bad for my milk supply. Then she dropped a different feed from the one the book predicted, and we had no way to know what we were "supposed" to do. We went more flexible from there, to where we let baby decide when to feed and sleep and it just worked SO MUCH better.

Many of the strict routines are just not adaptable with breastfeeding, because they'll tell you to feed for 15 minutes from one breast and then switch, but you individually may have a slow let-down and after 15 minutes baby is barely halfway through the foremilk. So you end up only giving him foremilk. The babywise system (by Gary Ezzo, a slightly more flexible but still very schedule-based system) has been associated with babies failing to thrive repeatedly - check out ezzo.info for more information.

I think a routine is fine, but a schedule is not. A routine would be "baby wakes up, I feed her, we play a bit, I change her nappy, dress her in day clothes, I nurse her to sleep for a nap". Schedule would be "wake baby up at 7am sharp, nurse for 15 minutes on one side and 10 on the other. Change the nappy in between. Put baby on carpet for some playtime with a mobile to watch while you drink a cup of tea. Sing songs to baby for 15 minutes and then put her to bed drowsy but awake. She must be in bed by 8:30." That just doesn't allow for baby's individual needs IMO. So I'm also more in favour of rhythm over schedules like someone else said.

You should really check out gentle christian mothers - you'll get loads of advice from like-minded mommies there! (www.gentlechristianmothers.com)

 

[Called2Grace]

I have been looking around the GCM website and it looks great! They have heaps of advice about gentle discipline which is good for a 4 yr old, but I can't register until the beginning of June.

 

[AJ29]

Sounds like you have things sussed!

I am not into "timed" routines, but we definitely have one. For us, it is more about a sequence of events than timing.

My second baby is very adaptable - far more than my first child was. Partly, that is his temperament, and partly, it is my confidence as a parent. We both just go with the flow.

I find that my 2nd child sleeps when ever and where ever he gets a chance. He has always been much better in the car and the stroller than my first son was. When he was first born, I would take my eldest son to the park most afternoons, and the short walk around was enough to send him to sleep, which would free me up to play with my #1 son.

I breastfeed around the clock. If my child is a bit grizzly, its the first thing I offer. He is now 13 months and still feeds a couple of times over night, and who knows how many times during the day. He likes the snuggles, and so do I - his dependence on me is something that we both enjoy.

Having said all of that, I do use "controlled crying" methods - although I am not particularly "hard core" about it. At around 3-4 months old, I found that both of my boys needed a little help to get to sleep. I would change them, feed them, make sure that they were comfortable, then wrap them and put them to bed. Within a couple of days, they would barely whimper when I put them down, as they were tired, and ready to sleep, so would - for me, it was really very simple. I would put them to bed, and they would go to sleep! I always knew (and still do - even with my 3 year old), that if they actually "cry" (as opposed to grizzle about the idea), there was something else they needed - clean pants, a drink or something else.

Everyone just has to find what works for them! It sounds like you are on the right track, and no doubt, you will figure out the rest when it all happens!

 

[jennyren]

I was routine with my first child, a little more relaxed with my second and completely go with the flow with my third. The older ones who were used to a routine became very difficult to deal with when the routine disappeared after my third was born. for me, some routine is good.

 

[llghoney]

I don't think I will be strict in routines. Whatever baby needs is what will happen. I knew this girl who had her child on a strict strict routine & scheduled her whole day aorund him. When it was time to eat & everything. She could only go places in a time frame and had to be home to feed him. So she wanted me to revolve around her schedule ALL the time & that didn't sit well with me. He was a little over a year old so he was eating solids.