Roomate Differences

[superdave]

I just moved in with my good friend. We have been friends for 3 years now. And we are renting a house together. And most of the time, it's great. But sometimes he does things that get on my nerves, and I do things that get on his. We aren't truthful with each other. I want to build a strong spiritual bond with my friend. I want us to war with each other, and pray and do things together. But most of the time, we don't. We have some good conversations. But I want us to grow together in our living together. It's a good thing, we are learning to live with one another. I mean, we operate differently. I want things to be at the best quality. And he-- well he doesn't like things to be at the best quality, I think. For example, If I cook a meal, I go all out- and get the best. He does what's economical. If I have guests, I go all out to serve them. He does not want to do that. I like to have my laundry, by the washer and dryer- he doesn't like that. I don't like leaving the porch light on, but he does. I don't like cokes, in the fridge- He does. It's just little things like that.

I don't know am I taking this a little bit too far?

Dave.

 

[Periann]

It sounds kind of like what I imagine marriage would be like. Who's bugged most about it? Then maybe the other person should concede. The first thing I thought when I saw this thread was that you and Living4Him03 should talk!

 

[superdave]

We have really only had one fight. It was over him and his girlfriend. I didn't like the fact that him and his girlfriend are always trying to change my plans to suit them. Anyway, I was joking about him and his girlfriend. And he got really ticked off- and ran into his room and slammed the door... which I thought was horribly immature. I went and there confronted him. And I got mad, I went into my room and started putting up my laundry. He apologized...and Later I aplogized. That's really the only fight we have had.

Other times, it's just little bitty things. I mean, we aren't at each other's throats. I love my roomate to death. He's prob. been my greatest Christian Brother that I have ever had. It's just that we have been brought up differently...and we have to learn to stand each other's little quirks. I just hope we can get pass that.

 

[William Nunn]

Whenever you find yourself worrying about where laundry is put or where Cokes are stored - think of all the people in this world that are starving to death or homeless.

A little extreme I know, but it's what I do. I'm in the Army, and there are a lot of times where you just get SO frustrated with your roommate, or someone in your chain of command, and sometimes it's over the smallest things. So I just try to think of people with really horrible problems to keep mine in perspective. And it usually works.

You all will get over this stuff.

 

[Aijin]

God operates with purpose and is continually working in our lives.

Maybe God wants you (and probably your roomie too) to learn patience. It may be training for something God plans to use you for in the future. Remember, take joy in your trials because they are opportunities to grow in God.

Christ does instruct us to be humble servants like He Himself was. What do you see Christ doing in your situation?

I'm not saying that its wrong to tell others that something bothers you, but you can't expect things to go the way you want (even if its supposed to be a best friend... who knows, maybe this is preparing you for marriage!). So again, i think the best thing you can do now (and it will help you down the road) is learn patience.

God's glory.

 

[sparrow1029]

It sounds kind of like what I imagine marriage would be like.

Hehe--thats exactly what I thought when I read this. I have a roommate, too, and really we get along very well. However, it is the small things that become the biggest annoyances. For us, its the thermostat--when shes too cold, I'm too warm and when I'm too cold shes too warm--we have wars over what the temp should be set at, lol! But, I've learned that it doesn't do much good to stress. She and I are different people, and we're going to have fundamental differences in the way we live day by day. When I get upset, I just think about all the things that I like about her, and how glad I am to have her as a roomie.

But, I was also thinking that when the reaction is way out of proportion with what caused it, it usually means that theres some kind of underlying issue. It may be that you're just adjusting to your roommates quirks, but it might also be that theres some issue you guys need to resolve. A lot of time, anger at the stupid things is a cover up for whats really wrong.

 

[Living4Him03]

In one word, YES. Imagine living in a dorm room with some random person who is NOT your friend! It could be much worse ya know. I'd suggest learning to tolerate one another's little differences and talk about the things that really bother you.

 

[Jack_Racz]

Talking and compromising solves all difference

 

[Rivard]

I can totally relate. I've lived with one of my best friend for about 8 months now and it's not always easy.

We have the same problems as you guys are, he does think that gets on my nerve and I do too. The key is COMPROMISES just like marriage

You must say what you feel and also be opened minded to what your friend has to say. When you have a tensious conversation, always pray before hand, it always help to set your mind best.

We often pray together, have deep conversations but it also always help to have fun together. The problem we had when we first started living together is that we were almost always together, so we stopped doing this outside of the appartment, this didn't help, our friendship suffered from this. But we learned from it and I'm sure you'll do as long as your remember the keyword: compromises.

Good luck, God bless you, your frirend and your friendship.

 

[DJBelieves]

living with someone is hard. they will always have different ways of doing things. compromise is the key though.. discuss what differences you have and makes choices in doing something you both like.

about the food though... maybe he's just trying to save money? you buy the best, but maybe he can't afford it like you can? as for the cokes, put half in the fridge and half outside the fridge...

 

[Blake]

I didn't see the word flexible in anyones post, but it seems to be implied. Lots of you guys problems seem to be petty. Just remember not to turn a mountain out of a mole hill.