Respect

[Antoninus Verus]

Do you think respect is something that should automatically be given to certain people, or that it needs to be earned?

 

[MuAndNu]

Do you think respect is something that should automatically be given to certain people, or that it needs to be earned?

Depends. When I was in the Air Force, I was required to show respect to some people simply because of their rank. There's a good reason for that.

But are you talking about heartfelt respect? Sometimes I had to show respect to officers I might personally have wanted kicked out of the service.

 

[Ninja Turtles]

I would say respect is something to be earned. No matter the power you have over someone, you have to give respect to get respect. I think many make the mistake of believing themselves to have respect just because they are, for instance a parent and believe they can treat their children any way they please. I would disagree with those parents that always talk about their children honoring them when they do such despicable things towards their kids expecting respect.

I think the military is somewhat different as advancing in the ranks would be somewhat akin to "earning" respect, although it's not on the one-to-one level. But as far as respect on a personal level, that is to be earned.

 

[MuAndNu]

I think the military is somewhat different as advancing in the ranks would be somewhat akin to "earning" respect, although it's not on the one-to-one level. But as far as respect on a personal level, that is to be earned.

Yeah, I almost added something like that. There's the assumption that someone who's earned a certain rank has also earned the respect that goes along with it. And, I've gotta say, I didn't encounter many officers whom I think didn't deserved it.

 

[Spinrad]

Decency = Given
Respect = Earned

 

[AngelusSax]

If you have to give respect to earn respect... then I say respect should just be given. I mean... if we all give respect, then we're all also respected. Everyone wins...

Pipe dream, I know. But still... a light and fluffy and happy one isn't it?

 

[MoonlessNight]

Respect, like trust is earned.

The trick is to not confuse respect with love or courtesy. Both of those things don't have to be earned, and they sometimes get confused with respect. Also note that a certain amount of respect is earned simply by being a human being.

 

[Lithium Hobo]

Earned. Definatly.

 

[dkara]

I give everyone the same opportunity to gain my respect.

 

[sandman]

I will take a different approach ….. although I agree with MuAndNu’s classification of respect. It was an automatic respect of the position and for what they stood for. Basically for an officer to be disrespected they had to earn that.

My different approach is that of Ephesians 5:33 which is backed up and documented through studies in the world.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence {respect} her husband.

No place in the Bible does it tell the wife to love her husband ….it doesn’t have to, a woman naturally is loving and nurturing. It does however tell the woman to respect her husband …unconditionally, which means it’s not earned, just as the man is to love the woman unconditionally. I won’t turn this into a marriage post but to conclude this I will state that, respect is to a man what love is to a woman; and it’s not the respect of performance it is the respect of desire.

 

[Spherical Time]

I respect people when I meet them, but if they loose that respect then it must be earned back.

 

[dialogue]

I try to ACT respectful, because my action reflects my person and my self-respects. No one can earn or deserve my way of presenting myself.

I only have respects for people who have earned it.

Obviously, I think being respectful and giving someone respect is apples and oranges.

 

[James T]

Earned.

What I give for free is the opportunity to earn respect.

 

[sanaa]

respect should be automatically given until the other person does something to lose it

 

[azheis]

I think I agree with sanaa. I have never met anyone whom I disrespected without knowing something of that person first. I think most people we meet do not start out in the neutral category of respect
It is possible that we offer others the same respect we have for ourselves and it either rises or declines from there; although there is another factor which is clothing and/or environment. As much as I hate to admit it, when I see a homeless person before even talking to them I have already judged them with a certain amount of respect or disrespect rather then compassion, which is sad.


Songs are pretty powerful. I started thinking about the song RESPECT sang by Aretha Franklin, which didn’t make much sense after reading one of the other posts I think by the sandman. The post talked about the woman giving the man unconditional respect yet the song in my mind was sang by a woman. Interestingly enough I found this information when doing a search

A common thread in Franklin’s music is a lively, assertive femininity. There is the way she turned Otis Redding’s “Respect” into a female empowerment anthem;

So the song was originally written by Otis Redding which would make more sense and collaborate what the bible was stating, not that the bible needs affirmation from a song.



azheis – so are we in this world

 

[Ledifni]

Depends. When I was in the Air Force, I was required to show respect to some people simply because of their rank. There's a good reason for that.

But are you talking about heartfelt respect? Sometimes I had to show respect to officers I might personally have wanted kicked out of the service.

Note: There is an astronomical difference between respect and showing respect. One need not respect a person to make a show of respect because it's required.

 

[Ledifni]

If you have to give respect to earn respect... then I say respect should just be given. I mean... if we all give respect, then we're all also respected. Everyone wins...

Pipe dream, I know. But still... a light and fluffy and happy one isn't it?

Yes, I agree. The idea that you cannot have respect unless you first show respect is akin to the excuse, "Well, I'll be nice to them if they'll be nice to me." It doesn't work. In a situation like that, everybody waits for everybody else to start showing respect, and they all end up hating one another.

Rather, respect is something that is given to everyone by default, and can then be lost. You do not earn respect; however, you can lose the respect you would ordinarily deserve.

But I strongly object to the idea that a person deserves respect by default because of who they are. A father doesn't deserve respect because he's a father; he deserves respect just like the kid down the street, because he's a person. The corollary is also true -- a father can lose the respect of his children just like anyone else.

 

[talitha]

There are levels of respect. I would give, say, Charles Manson, a certain level of respect just because he is human. I would give another level of respect to my little niece, another to a peer of mine, and another to my senior pastor, etc..... There is a certain amount of respect that comes with being a living breathing human being and should be given freely, but increasing levels of respect are earned.
another thought here.....
I am very intrigued by sandman's post...... and would like to ask him -- could you elaborate on the following statement, particularly the part I'm putting in bold?

respect is to a man what love is to a woman; and it’s not the respect of performance it is the respect of desire.

What do you mean by "the respect of desire?"

blessings
tal

 

[Mashley]

I think that you should respect people, until they do something to lose your respect. Then, maybe they will earn it back eventually. As far as respecting someone who doesn't deserve it: I think you should still treat them kindly. You should treat them good, but you don't have to like revere them or anything like that.

 

[James T]

To treat someone with respect is not the same as giving them respect.