Alynn

Active Member
Jan 22, 2020
77
34
29
Fort Wayne
✟40,088.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Okay, So I'm back at Repentance. Again.
I'm trying to yet figure this out. Again.
I've been so mad and hurt, I tried to give up. many times.
but It seems that something inside me tells me that I'm wrong

I want to read the word but I don't.
I want to change but I don't.
typing this now I now see that I have a double mind. and I have to make up my mind. (Please no judgement)

So in order to do something ANYTHING I am forcing myself to read the bible. It's a start.
I am unwilling but I'm doing it.
Is this wrong?

I came across Psalm 81:15. "Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever"

I read this in different translations and versions of the bible. I've looked at commentaries and summaries. I think I have a grasp of what it is saying but can anyone elaborate this for me.

I believe it to mean that "faking" or "pretending" is not right. God doesn't want you to fake a relationship with him. But because of where I'm at (head-space wise) I'm just mad at everything, mostly not getting the things I wanted resolved the way I wanted them to resolved. And I feel doing this is better than not doing anything? I'm hoping that sometime down the road these feelings and emotions will change.

I found this. Could someone else this further? :

"Should have submitted themselves unto him - Margin, yielded retained obedience. Hebrew, lied. See the phrase explained in the notes at Psalms 18:44. The meaning is, that they would have been so subdued as to acknowledge his authority or supremacy, while it is, at the same time, implied that this would have been forced and not cordial. No external power, though it may so conquer as to make people outwardly obedient, can affect the will, or subdue that. The grace of God alone can do that, and it is the special triumph of grace that it can do it."

Can anyone offer any advise or insight?

Thank you!
 
Last edited:

ByTheSpirit

Come Lord Jesus
May 17, 2011
11,422
4,650
Manhattan, KS
✟186,612.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I'm just mad at everything, mostly not getting the things I wanted resolved the way I wanted them to resolved.

This is the source of your problem, right there. You want things to be resolved the way you want them resolved and that leaves no room at all for God's will or judgement. You need to accept that things are not always going to go your way, that sometimes God works in a way that is a mystery and seemingly contrary to what we think is good or just, yet He works all things for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28), even if his working may not be what we feel is best.

As long as you hold on to this idea that things have to go my way, you haven't truly repented and thus cannot fully meet or experience God. Confess that to Him and then let it go. Faith is believing in something you can't see or grasp (Hebrews 11). Faith in God means that even if he asks you to sacrifice your child of promise, he will be able to raise him back to life for you because God is faithful. (Hebrews 11:17-19)

Repentance is choosing not to follow or desire the things that your flesh wants, but following what God wants by His Spirit. As long as you hold onto that, you'll not be able to progress much farther in your walk with God.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,649
6,108
Massachusetts
✟583,430.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
So in order to do something ANYTHING I am forcing myself to read the bible. It's a start.
I am unwilling but I'm doing it.
Is this wrong?
I would say being unwilling is wrong, but reading God's word can be good. And you are admitting you need to do better, and now you have us praying for you.

"But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing." (in Psalm 34:10)

So, I could have given you a scripture directly telling you to repent, but I offer this one in order to help you to see where you need to repent to. Yes, God wants us to turn from our sins, but to turn to where? To God. And trusting God and seeking God through Jesus Christ His own Son. And with this we rightly expect the LORD to share all that is good with us.

And all He does with us is so more and better than maybe things you are hoping for, to get resolved. God pleases to do better with us, than what we might be wishing for.

So, repenting includes leaving behind how we can wish and what we can try. And the motive of repenting, then, needs to be more than knowing how we have been guilty and wrong, but God wants us to see how good He is and ready to share His good with us >

"Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?" (Romans 2:4)

And repenting is not self-produced. We are turned "from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God" > I offer, considering this which Jesus said to Paul, in Acts 26:18.

When a person repents by not depending on oneself, but trusting in Jesus, there is an eternal change of power involved. The person is removed from Satan's kingdom with his cruel and stupid power . . . of fear and doubt and confusion and dominating demand for pleasure and control of people and things. This power is stupidly cruel and makes things worse, and this power is impersonal, uncaring, and abusive and wasting of a person emotionally and socially and spiritually.

But in repenting, a person is with God Himself, in personal and tender sharing with Him. And God does not waste us, but is kind in us, with His almighty peace caring for us > as I understand Jesus means here where He says >

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

Here Jesus calls to "all". So, yes I understand He means He has hope for you.
 
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
back at Repentance. Again.
I'm trying to yet figure this out.

To repent, to say sorry, means that one knows what they did/said etc was wrong, that they were wrong and that they are willing to try to put it right.

Feeling mad about something, wanting something done your way does not enable one to know that one is wrong as all feelings are that someone else is wrong.

No one can be sorry for what someone else has done only for what you, yourself have done.
 
Upvote 0

JimR-OCDS

God Cannot Be Grasped, Except Through Love
Oct 28, 2008
18,341
3,284
The Kingdom of Heaven
Visit site
✟185,132.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
It sounds like you're seeking religion without faith.

Faith is God's revelation of Himself to the individual, however that may happen.
Religion is the person's response to faith.

All you can do is be open to God and ask for the gift of faith. It will come
according to how open you are to Him. Before faith, religion can be nothing
other than a yoke.
 
Upvote 0

FutureAndAHope

Just me
Supporter
Aug 30, 2008
6,362
2,910
Australia
Visit site
✟733,159.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Okay, So I'm back at Repentance. Again.
I'm trying to yet figure this out. Again.
I've been so mad and hurt, I tried to give up. many times.
but It seems that something inside me tells me that I'm wrong

I want to read the word but I don't.
I want to change but I don't.
typing this now I now see that I have a double mind. and I have to make up my mind. (Please no judgement)

So in order to do something ANYTHING I am forcing myself to read the bible. It's a start.
I am unwilling but I'm doing it.
Is this wrong?

I came across Psalm 81:15. "Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever"

I read this in different translations and versions of the bible. I've looked at commentaries and summaries. I think I have a grasp of what it is saying but can anyone elaborate this for me.

I believe it to mean that "faking" or "pretending" is not right. God doesn't want you to fake a relationship with him. But because of where I'm at (head-space wise) I'm just mad at everything, mostly not getting the things I wanted resolved the way I wanted them to resolved. And I feel doing this is better than not doing anything? I'm hoping that sometime down the road these feelings and emotions will change.

I found this. Could someone else this further? :

"Should have submitted themselves unto him - Margin, yielded retained obedience. Hebrew, lied. See the phrase explained in the notes at Psalms 18:44. The meaning is, that they would have been so subdued as to acknowledge his authority or supremacy, while it is, at the same time, implied that this would have been forced and not cordial. No external power, though it may so conquer as to make people outwardly obedient, can affect the will, or subdue that. The grace of God alone can do that, and it is the special triumph of grace that it can do it."

Can anyone offer any advise or insight?

Thank you!

I would not worry about one verse of scripture that appears condemning to you. The Bible tells us that the "goodness of God leads us to repentance", focus for a while on the good things God has done. Like, given His son so that we can have life. Focus on the good things He taught. There are two sides to every coin. Think of a natural father who disciplines his kids, yet still loves them takes them fishing, and takes them out to eat at their favorite restaurant. If the child meditates on the fact that the father disciplines, but do not think about the good, they will grow to hate their dad. If they have a balanced view, and see their father really does love them, but sometimes needs to discipline, they will grow to love him. It is the same with God, yes he disciplines, but he also shows us love and care. We need to focus on the good, not the discipline. Pick some positive scriptures, and meditate on them like:

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Gal 5:13-14 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

They are ones I like but think of ones that you think are "good" and mediate on them.
 
Upvote 0
Jul 28, 2022
45
17
88
East Sussex
✟18,470.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
To repent, to say sorry, means that one knows what they did/said etc was wrong, that they were wrong and that they are willing to try to put it right.

Feeling mad about something, wanting something done your way does not enable one to know that one is wrong as all feelings are that someone else is wrong.

No one can be sorry for what someone else has done only for what you, yourself have done.
Christ took all of our failings to the cross. THATS WHERE THEY ARE.
I now try !! Not to give my stains of sin space in my thoughts or life, otherwise I am acknowledging that they still have some place in the whom God sees.
Hope this is of help
 
Upvote 0

nhisname

Active Member
Dec 21, 2020
177
70
68
SW MO
✟28,311.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Okay, So I'm back at Repentance. Again.
I'm trying to yet figure this out. Again.
I've been so mad and hurt, I tried to give up. many times.
but It seems that something inside me tells me that I'm wrong

I want to read the word but I don't.
I want to change but I don't.
typing this now I now see that I have a double mind. and I have to make up my mind. (Please no judgement)

So in order to do something ANYTHING I am forcing myself to read the bible. It's a start.
I am unwilling but I'm doing it.
Is this wrong?

I came across Psalm 81:15. "Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him, and their punishment would last forever"

I read this in different translations and versions of the bible. I've looked at commentaries and summaries. I think I have a grasp of what it is saying but can anyone elaborate this for me.

I believe it to mean that "faking" or "pretending" is not right. God doesn't want you to fake a relationship with him. But because of where I'm at (head-space wise) I'm just mad at everything, mostly not getting the things I wanted resolved the way I wanted them to resolved. And I feel doing this is better than not doing anything? I'm hoping that sometime down the road these feelings and emotions will change.

I found this. Could someone else this further? :

"Should have submitted themselves unto him - Margin, yielded retained obedience. Hebrew, lied. See the phrase explained in the notes at Psalms 18:44. The meaning is, that they would have been so subdued as to acknowledge his authority or supremacy, while it is, at the same time, implied that this would have been forced and not cordial. No external power, though it may so conquer as to make people outwardly obedient, can affect the will, or subdue that. The grace of God alone can do that, and it is the special triumph of grace that it can do it."

Can anyone offer any advise or insight?

Thank you!

It sounds as if you want things done your way, on your timeline and you're getting frustrated.
Christians live by faith, which is pleasing to God, this shows we trust him. Maturity in Christ is a gradual thing, we go thru many, many trials and tests while on on our journey. We either grow, gain strength and character thru them or we sink in the ocean of fear and doubt. Reading God's word opens up communication with him thru the holy spirit.
When praying Ask God to renew your mind and quiet your thoughts then go from there.
 
Upvote 0