Remembering Dan.

[Eagle Of Oz]

I agree with dayhiker. Thanks so much for posting, and sharing your beautiful memories and photos of Dan. Continuing to pray for Dans boys, and Katie. God bless you all. (((hugs)))

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I agree with you dayhiker. It just reaffirms how many lives Dan touched and there are so many we won't ever know about too. Think about that when you think about yourself and your life. You don't know who you affect and in what way you affect them. Some moments are fleeting, but others are burned into our memories. Some people have something we said or did, burned into their memories, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. We should consider this going forward. Dan had no idea how many people he affected and he was (at least for the people here) laying at home in bed, deaf and in pain constantly, and YET he affected so many people in positive ways.
I love people stopping by to remember him and he will always be a reminder to me, that it does not matter if you are blind, deaf and bedridden, God can and will use you for His glory if you are available. So be kind, pray for those that are difficult to love, encourage others whenever you can, and give God ALL the praise, honor, and glory that He deserves.

 

[bobross]

I agree with you dayhiker. It just reaffirms how many lives Dan touched and there are so many we won't ever know about too. Think about that when you think about yourself and your life. You don't know who you affect and in what way you affect them. Some moments are fleeting, but others are burned into our memories. Some people have something we said or did, burned into their memories, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. We should consider this going forward. Dan had no idea how many people he affected and he was (at least for the people here) laying at home in bed, deaf and in pain constantly, and YET he affected so many people in positive ways.
I love people stopping by to remember him and he will always be a reminder to me, that it does not matter if you are blind, deaf and bedridden, God can and will use you for His glory if you are available. So be kind, pray for those that are difficult to love, encourage others whenever you can, and give God ALL the praise, honor, and glory that He deserves.

Amen Michelle. If I died today, I don't feel like people could say that I did much of anything for anyone in my life. I need to make some changes so that my life can be more about others and less about myself.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Amen Michelle. If I died today, I don't feel like people could say that I did much of anything for anyone in my life. I need to make some changes so that my life can be more about others and less about myself.

But then again bobross, you don't and won't, know how many people you have affected and in what way you have affected them for better or for worse.

But I totally agree with getting our eyes off ourselves and onto others that need our help.

 

[GIPPER119]

Good picture. Thanks, MrsVanB. There is no question he left quite a legacy. I knew him only for a very short time here (posting on one thread), but I was very saddened when I heard he had passed. At first I had thought that he died in combat, but as I read more it sounds like he took his own life? So sad that he felt that was the best solution, although I know brain injuries can cause suicidal thoughts and actions. Poor guy. I feel for his family. They will be in my prayers and I will also add them to my church's prayer list.

Everything you said here is spot on, blackribbon. The last paragraph is important and I don't think most people really contemplate it enough. Thank you.

I'd love to share more memories when I get a little more time. I'm sure my husband could go on for days, but he hasn't been able to talk about it much yet.

This is my favorite picture of Dan b/c his relaxed and happy personality shines through. It was his profile picture on FB, so even though he never did anything on there, I would sign on and see his smiling face on my friends list. Being around him made you a happier and more positive person.

 

[somnambulist]

If there is a heaven he is there. Great dude.

thanks for this brinny.

 

[dayhiker]

bobross ... what I've done my whole life is just look for a little thing to do to change myself. I've never tried to make a big change quickly. So I find some small thing that I want to do and that's what I learn how or work on getting bold enough to do it. Over time its amazing how much I've learned, experience or tried.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

or changed?

 

[Elderado]

bobross ... what I've done my whole life is just look for a little thing to do to change myself. I've never tried to make a big change quickly. So I find some small thing that I want to do and that's what I learn how or work on getting bold enough to do it. Over time its amazing how much I've learned, experience or tried.

Yeah if you try to make a big change quickly you're bound to fail and then give up all together. THen you end up worse off than you were before. That's what happens with a lot of new years resolutions I think.


I had a few buddies over to watch the basketball tournament earlier and we were talking about Dan. It was a good therapy session because its never easy when these things happen and a lot of times nobody talks about it at all and that builds up with their own psychological problems. I don't ever want to lose a friend like this again and I will do whatever I can to make sure I don't. I plan on talking to my company commander on Monday and getting in some more mental health training for our platoon.


My one buddy was saying I'm sure everyone up there knows Dan arrived in heaven because he's making them get up at 0300 to run 20 miles and PT for 5 hours. My grandma is probably in better shape than I am now! Haha.

 

[tuolumne]

Yeah if you try to make a big change quickly you're bound to fail and then give up all together. THen you end up worse off than you were before. That's what happens with a lot of new years resolutions I think.


I had a few buddies over to watch the basketball tournament earlier and we were talking about Dan. It was a good therapy session because its never easy when these things happen and a lot of times nobody talks about it at all and that builds up with their own psychological problems. I don't ever want to lose a friend like this again and I will do whatever I can to make sure I don't. I plan on talking to my company commander on Monday and getting in some more mental health training for our platoon.


My one buddy was saying I'm sure everyone up there knows Dan arrived in heaven because he's making them get up at 0300 to run 20 miles and PT for 5 hours. My grandma is probably in better shape than I am now! Haha.

I love your posts, Elderado Hey, would you mind reposting the pictures and stories you deleted in the other thread? I never got to see them. Thanks.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Talking is good and I think it is so sad that even though we know 100 percent of us will die, we can never in our lives prepare enough for it. Whether it is like my great Aunt who died at 96 or my husband that died at 55, we are never prepared. And then no one ever knows what to say because nothing can be said to satisfy.
The same week Dan died, my daughter's boyfriend had a heart attack and died. She was crying on the phone and asked me "why won't God answer me? Why?" And I told her that some questions there is no answer for. And then I said to her "If God did answer you and said ...Tim had to die because of X Y and Z, would you then say OH OK I get it, I understand?" NO! you wouldn't!
Even to this day when I mention that my husband passed away 9 years ago, people still say "oh I'm so sorry". And while that is not bad to say, it's just that really there is nothing that can be said to comfort or satisfy.
And that last sentence about Grandma being in better shape and all, LOL funny!

 

[Elderado]

Talking is good and I think it is so sad that even though we know 100 percent of us will die, we can never in our lives prepare enough for it. Whether it is like my great Aunt who died at 96 or my husband that died at 55, we are never prepared. And then no one ever knows what to say because nothing can be said to satisfy.
The same week Dan died, my daughter's boyfriend had a heart attack and died. She was crying on the phone and asked me "why won't God answer me? Why?" And I told her that some questions there is no answer for. And then I said to her "If God did answer you and said ...Tim had to die because of X Y and Z, would you then say OH OK I get it, I understand?" NO! you wouldn't!
Even to this day when I mention that my husband passed away 9 years ago, people still say "oh I'm so sorry". And while that is not bad to say, it's just that really there is nothing that can be said to comfort or satisfy.
And that last sentence about Grandma being in better shape and all, LOL funny!

It's true that nothing that can really be said to comfort people who are mourning. I feel so awkward in those situations because I want to say something but I know whatever I say will be the wrong thing. So I try to avoid it which is the wrong thing too. But it was good to talk to my boys today because it was mostly just good memories and a lot of busting up laughing. Which is probably not good since I just had my appendix out. Haha.

 

[Elderado]

I love your posts, Elderado Hey, would you mind reposting the pictures and stories you deleted in the other thread? I never got to see them. Thanks.

Yeah a few other people have asked me that too Tuolumne. I won't post any pictures of his family though. Here are the ones I posted:


(only lets you do 5 at a time)

 

[Elderado]

The last one isn't mine but someone else posted it in the other thread.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

It's true that nothing that can really be said to comfort people who are mourning. I feel so awkward in those situations because I want to say something but I know whatever I say will be the wrong thing. So I try to avoid it which is the wrong thing too. But it was good to talk to my boys today because it was mostly just good memories and a lot of busting up laughing. Which is probably not good since I just had my appendix out. Haha.

The thing is though, we ALL feel awkward, whether we have lost someone and know first hand what it's like, or not. I don't think there is a wrong thing you could say unless you said glad he's dead or something really lame like that. I hate it that most of the people say "I'm sorry." EVERYONE is sorry. I was sorry too when my husband died. At one point I wanted to scream if one more person said "I'm sorry" but what are we supposed to say right? That is the age old problem there really IS nothing good or right to say, but I don't think there is a wrong thing that can be said unless you're a jerk. I was listening to a woman giving a lesson on the net and she was from the south and she said every time someone would say so and so died, they would bow their heads for a moment.

 

[blackribbon]

Even nurses aren't prepared for death. I had an 89 year old patient whose heart was functioning at less than 15% capacity. His active problem list was a mile long...much of it heart problems. He was on oxygen. But when he died 2 days after being discharged, the nurses were just astonished "because he was doing so well!" Never mind, we were on a cardiac critical care unit. He was a really nice guy and tired of being in the hospital. He was weak but walking after very stressful surgery. I was happy that he was able to die on his own terms in his own home. I'm not so sure if his family was able to see it that way though. We just aren't very good at dying.

 

[Elderado]

Yeah. Death sucks. I know there's nothing we can do about people dying naturally or from accidents and stuff, but like I said I'm not going to sit around and let another person I care about take their own life.

 

[MrsVanB]

I love those pictures, Elderado. One thing that I will never forget is Dan's infectious smile. Happiness really is contagious. You could be having the worst day ever and just being around him would make you feel better. I really like that you all have this thread here. I know it probably won't be posted on much longer b/c that's the way these things go, but for the time being it's nice to know that he's remembered for the good person he was.

 

[Elderado]

I love those pictures, Elderado. One thing that I will never forget is Dan's infectious smile. Happiness really is contagious. You could be having the worst day ever and just being around him would make you feel better. I really like that you all have this thread here. I know it probably won't be posted on much longer b/c that's the way these things go, but for the time being it's nice to know that he's remembered for the good person he was.

You are welcome. And I agree with what you said.


One more thing I'd like to say. If you guys could please pray for Alex (Dan's older boy) to do well this weekend. He is wrestling in the state tournament. It's really good news because just last week he was having a tough time, being violent, and refusing to go to school. I think this will be a good opportunity for him to harness his frustration and kind of rejoin the world. All of Dan's boys were/are really good wrestlers so I'm confident he will do well. I know Dan would be proud and I hope he's up there watching.

 

[bobross]

You are welcome. And I agree with what you said.


One more thing I'd like to say. If you guys could please pray for Alex (Dan's older boy) to do well this weekend. He is wrestling in the state tournament. It's really good news because just last week he was having a tough time, being violent, and refusing to go to school. I think this will be a good opportunity for him to harness his frustration and kind of rejoin the world. All of Dan's boys were/are really good wrestlers so I'm confident he will do well. I know Dan would be proud and I hope he's up there watching.

Praying that he is doing well at his tournament. This is great to hear