Hello, my name is Ashley. I became a member here a few years ago b/c of Dan but I haven't been around for a long time. I was told that this post was here, and I would just like to say a few words if that's alright (I'm married so I'm not sure if I'm really allowed to be here).
Dan and Katie were very good friends of my husband Craig and I. Dan and Craig served together in the Marine Corps and Katie and I got to know each other through that, and I can honestly say she is the best friend I ever had. They were a beautiful couple inside and out, and their sons were sweet and wonderful young men. Some of our best memories are of our time spent with them.
So first of all, we were very heartbroken to hear that Dan had taken his own life. I'm glad he found some refuge here when he was on his own and I'm sorry you all had to go through something like that "firsthand". In my eyes there is no way to describe Dan that really does him justice. You always hear how wonderful people are after they pass away (even if they were not such great people when they were alive), but in Dan's case it was seriously very true. He was a great man. Kind, generous, loving, faithful and strong. He was the best dad you would ever meet. He always put others before himself and he led some of the most elite Marines into combat many, many times. Ultimately, he sacrificed himself so that many other men could make it home to their families. He lost his best squad in the process and that weighed very heavy on his heart.
Dan was critically wounded, both on the outside and the inside. His back was broken very badly, so much so that his spine was exposed in several places. One arm and both legs and his pelvis were shattered. His internal organs were badly damaged. He had a significant traumatic brain injury in which his brain was exposed, and lost hearing in both ears. He was in the hospital for a very long time. It was a miracle that he even survived at all. But Dan's heart and soul were broken much more than his body. It was a very sad thing and a string of unfortunate circumstances led him to an even more dire place. I guess it just wasn't worth the pain of living anymore. I don't think anyone can really judge that decision. I don't think he is anywhere other than Heaven right now either. He earned his spot there long ago.
I also want to say that Dan's wife, Katie, was the most beautiful, kind-hearted person. I know it is easy to judge and say that she abandoned Dan in his time of need, but she really just did what had to be done at the time. It breaks my heart to hear anyone talk badly about her b/c the things they say just aren't true. She loved Dan more than life itself. That much is true. She is an extremely sweet woman and she would never do anything that wasn't best for her family. She is really needing prayer right now. I know y'all are such caring people here and that you will do that for her. She is very distraught and regretful of many things and she needs our prayer to have those feelings and burdens lifted. She lost the love of her life and now it's final. Not only that but she lost her eldest son to suicide two years ago and will never be the same. (That was also another death that Dan carried the burden for). Katie really is a sweet, caring person so please don't let anyone say otherwise. She already feels bad enough.
Their handsome little guys need lots of prayer as well. Their youngest son is in the hospital now and not eating. He is a precious boy and Katie's baby, so she is right there with him even though she is suffering badly with her own grief. A mother tends to feel every ounce of her childrens pain times ten. Their other boy needs prayer as well. He is a strong boy but I know he is hurting deeply. They are such good kids. Just as sweet and loving as their parents. Please pray for them all as they go through this unbearably difficult time. I realize hardly any of you probably knew them in real life, so it makes it even more special that you all would care so much and keep them in prayer. Thank you so much.
~Ashley Van Beusekom
