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remarried and struggling

cap1975

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I have always struggled with porn until the present date. what makes me feel so good one moment can lead to regret and guilt. COME ON SEX IS EVERYWHERE!
It destroyed my first marriage and a few potiential relationships.
At the beginng of this year I got remarried and thought I had everything together, but my past keeps haunting me, and instead of leaning on towards my wife, I dwell in porn again.
When we first met she made me promise her I never watch porn, and saddly to say she discovered the truth about me when she check the time on my cell phone and found the porn site. She almost divorced me over it except this time I need to get some help.
I love her more then I love porn. Please keep me in your prayers because I have a tough road ahead and one I really need to conquer. well thanks for taking the time to read my post.
 

dude99

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kbee125

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You should download an internet filter like Covenant Eyes. I haven't tried it so I can't tell you how effective it is, but I am sure you can read reviews about it.

Is your wife a Christian? You said you just got married this year and she almost divorced you over the porn thing. That concerns me. Have you guys considered seeing a family conselur?

Praying for you and your marriage.
 
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estadalamoo

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I have always struggled with porn until the present date. what makes me feel so good one moment can lead to regret and guilt. COME ON SEX IS EVERYWHERE!
It destroyed my first marriage and a few potiential relationships.
At the beginng of this year I got remarried and thought I had everything together, but my past keeps haunting me, and instead of leaning on towards my wife, I dwell in porn again.
When we first met she made me promise her I never watch porn, and saddly to say she discovered the truth about me when she check the time on my cell phone and found the porn site. She almost divorced me over it except this time I need to get some help.
I love her more then I love porn. Please keep me in your prayers because I have a tough road ahead and one I really need to conquer. well thanks for taking the time to read my post.
I'm sorry you lost your first wife over porn, it is everywhere. But let me free your mind or at least alter your perspective. Have you ever wondered why you feel guilty for eating to much cake or not giving more money to that homeless man and at the same time know you did your best. It's because guilt doesn't tell you you are doing something wrong, it's warning you that you just didn't need to do that. This is why people say "You can have to much of a good thing" your conscience tells you when something is wrong, consequently guilt and the conscience can cross wires.
 
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Johnnz

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Step one is getting a really healthy understanding of human sexuality from a Christian perspective. That is much more than moralistic ideals. That helps us distinguish our natural sexuality from the distortions of porn. Sex is all around us. We can't avoid it, either externally or from our internal drives. It's living realistically with that reality that we must seek to discover.

John
NZ
 
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ninjatoth

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What I have to say may not help you because you cannot change your spouse's opinion or reaction to what you struggle with, but in my experiences( I have had porn issues while dating or married before) the women that ask you to quit for them or not to ever look at it, or the ones that you know will be mad are the ones you mostly likely will not confide in which just makes the problem worse. I have had girlfriends that more or less were of the opinion "oh you did huh, well did you find anything really really good you wanna share?" Now I know that this response is probably not the best one either, but I guarantee that you would be more likely to open up and share your issues and to make that woman an accountability partner than someone that you know will come down on you in judgement. If you have a partner that understands it, and won't get mad no matter how many times you mess up, I think you will on your own feel more encouragement to do better for yourself. And that's what this is about-you. You aren't bettering your wife's mental state and eternity by doing better, you aren't bettering God's existence by doing better, you are bettering yourself and allowing God to help you, he is your friend, your wife is your friend and they care. If God forgives every time you mess up and gives you time to repent, and if your wife forgives you every time and gives you time to repent, it won't be long before you will beat this thing. If you keep praying you will beat it, it might not be today, or tomorrow or even next month, but you will eventually beat it gracefully. Just do not ever get to a point where you think "i'm free, I beat this addiction". Because that kind of thinking invites trouble. If you have ever had an issue with sin in a certain area in your life, than it's like a dead virus in your body that can still come back 50 years later and make you sick again. Satan is not dumb, if you "beat" a sin in your mind such as pornography, Satan is not going to come at you years later and tempt you to become an alcoholic if you never took a drink in your life, no, he's gonna stab you in the back and take you out at the knees with a sin he already knows you have fallen many times for before, so stay vigilant for the rest of you life and keep pushing forward and don't waste too much time on guilt when you mess up. Your heart is in the right place, just keep going and finish the race. God bless.
 
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