Remaining a virgin until marriage

[EricTheRed]

I know exactly what you mean. Right now I am on a pass in Basic Training. We have had Drill Sgt.s call all the virgins in front of the company and started asking them questions. But they at least tend to leave the religious ones alone.

 

[rusmeister]

Hey, dude! What an awesome chance to witness! (I underwent similar questioning in boot camp many years ago, but had abandoned my Baptist faith, so had no legs to stand on...)

 

[Dorothea]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Theres many factors, from the breakdown of the family to people waiting longer and longer to get married, false expectations, an erosion of morals and values (and the 'why' of this erosion is explained in the above post) , etc

You know, I've been thinking about the underlined. I've been reading this thread and this really had me thinking. I mean, reading that teens have a hard time controlling their sex drives. Is this because decades ago, they were married off by 18 at the oldest? And eventually by 20 or 21? But nowadays, it's anywhere from 25-35. So, I would guess it was easier to remain a virgin back in those days and the fact that morals were different then too, than it is today.

 

[Dorothea]

I know exactly what you mean. Right now I am on a pass in Basic Training. We have had Drill Sgt.s call all the virgins in front of the company and started asking them questions. But they at least tend to leave the religious ones alone.

That seems very offensive. They picked out the virgins and asked them questions? What kinds of questions? Humiliating ones? Geez, that seems horrible to me.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

Maybe people are being told to wait too long to get married now. For most people they come to a breaking point where they just can't hold out any longer. That seems to be around 25. I think they get tired of waiting and they get discouraged. They panic and feel that if they don't have sex now they might never get the chance. I took the advice to wait until I got out of college (which isn't such a bad idea). Then it was wait until you have a good job. Then it was wait until you are finacially secure. We are never financially secure. Good things come to those that wait but if you wait too long you get left out and that scares people. One thing I've definately noticed is that even in some Christian circles younger people will think to themselves "I don't want to end up like them" when they encounter an older virgin because it's just so uncommon. And when I mean older I mean someone over 30. There is this perception that there's something wrong with that person. At my age the number of available single women is very small and that's one of the reasons why you see men with younger women. Younger women are available. Maybe churches need to rethink how and what they are teaching to young people about when to get married.

 

[rusmeister]

In my time, I had a drill sergeant scream questions at us individually about things like our sexual practices, and all you could do was answer "Yes, sir" and "No, sir".

Yes, everything is designed to encourage fornication and break down both the concept of the sex act within marriage, and what marriage itself is. So the encouragement to marry late practically guarantees a non-celibate society - and also weakens the point of marrying at all. (The "Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?" kind of logic.)

 

[MariaRegina]

A long time ago, when I was 15 in high school, the principal called me into her office because I had not purchased tickets to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She wanted to know if I were going and if not, why not. When I mentioned that my parents had forbidden me to date or wear lipstick until I was 16, she was aghast. So, she made me see a counselor. She was trying to turn me against my parents. Even though I was part of a Catholic youth group where we had dances, that still did not settle the matter.

Since the school dance included a band, the sponsors needed the ticket money in advance to make the dance successful. So, the principal started doing number crunching.

It seemed that our school had a double standard: It was okay to have premaritat sex as long as you did not get pregnant. However, if you did become pregnant, then you had to leave school or get an abortion. So, the burden fell on the girl.

However, freedom of religion was not allowed. So participating in a church youth group was not considered to be a valid extra-curricular activity, especially if you wanted to go to college on a scholarship.

 

[EricTheRed]

That seems very offensive. They picked out the virgins and asked them questions? What kinds of questions? Humiliating ones? Geez, that seems horrible to me.

I dont think Drill Sgts know questins that are not humilitating

 

[cowboysfan1970]

One thing I know about D.I.s is that any answer that you give them will be wrong. If they press you about something and then you change your stance on it because they were putting pressure on you, then they will really give it to you because you buckled under the pressure. Part of what their job is is to instill that inner strength in you not to give in.

 

[buzuxi02]

You know, I've been thinking about the underlined. I've been reading this thread and this really had me thinking. I mean, reading that teens have a hard time controlling their sex drives. Is this because decades ago, they were married off by 18 at the oldest? And eventually by 20 or 21? But nowadays, it's anywhere from 25-35. So, I would guess it was easier to remain a virgin back in those days and the fact that morals were different then too, than it is today.

You can take it even furhter, in agrarian societies people lived further from each other, and had chores to keep them busy, with the advent of the automobile, going out and hanging at local hot spots, increased temptation. Likewise in todays age the internet has increased temptation where it has singlehandedly increased the numbers of divorce due to extra-marital affairs.

 

[vanshan]

If you are honored for resisting temptation, let the honor come from others. Anytime we exmaine ourselves, and conclude we're more pious for any reason than others, whom we see have sinned, we sin by our pride.

My priest always tells me, that when I judge others, or think about the sins of others, it's because I've either already committed the same sin, and recognize it for that reason, or I'm about to fall into the same sin. He always gives great examples of saints who've worked to hide the sins of others, rather than praise themselves for virtue, but I don't remember any specific stories right now.

You are worthy of honor for your abstainence, but no doubt you've sullied yourself with enough other sins to make a sailor blush. Try to meditate on this, to obtain godly humility. I recognize pride, because I'm guilty of it continually. Lord have mercy.

Basil

 

[Anhelyna]

Maybe it's time for the original poster to return to this thread and actually answer these comments instead of apparently posting and running

 

[rusmeister]

One Adam-12, One Adam-12, Code 1-9. (static) Hit and run at the scene (static).

Roger. 10-4. Hit and run. Over. (static)

 

[Dorothea]

I dont think Drill Sgts know questins that are not humilitating

Oh yeah. I forgot about that part.

 

[Dorothea]

You can take it even furhter, in agrarian societies people lived further from each other, and had chores to keep them busy, with the advent of the automobile, going out and hanging at local hot spots, increased temptation. Likewise in todays age the internet has increased temptation where it has singlehandedly increased the numbers of divorce due to extra-marital affairs.

Ah yes. Very true. All those folks living "double lives" on the computer. Ugh.

 

[Kristos]

Can they put plaques on a chastity belt?

 

[cowboysfan1970]

I dont think Drill Sgts know questins that are not humilitating

One of the funniest lines in Full Metal Jacket is when the D.I. asked Private Pyle if his parents had any children that lived. He answered "Sir yes sir!" and the D.I. replied with "I bet they regret that!" People have told me that sometimes in basic when someone was really getting it from the D.I. that they had to try really hard not to laugh because some of the things they said were so funny.

Back on the subject though. Virginity isn't something I think to be really proud of or ashamed of. We can be pure in body but not really any of us are 100% pure in mind. I know I'm not. Maybe I haven't commited that sin of having sex outside of marriage but there are other sins that I have so I'm no better than the next person. The outside world though will never understand it and will always put you down for it. Part of being a Christian is knowing that some people will put us down for what we believe. We don't live for them though.

 

[AlitatheSaved]

What an interesting discussion. This is my first post. First, I want to praise the original poster for maintaining her views on purity even with the pressure from our sex-crazed world. Second, I'd like to add those lines of Jesus: that if you look at someone else's spouse lustfully, you've already committed adultery with them in your heart. So if a technical virgin has thought of having sex with someone before, in their heart they are no longer a virgin. Interesting concept.

Peace to all.

 

[cowboysfan1970]

So if a technical virgin has thought of having sex with someone before, in their heart they are no longer a virgin. Interesting concept.

Peace to all.

That would basically be all of us. Unless someone is a true asexual (which I think there are very few of them) you've thought of what sex would be like or what it would be like with a specific person before. The only person that ever had complete purity was Jesus. The rest of us have fallen short.

 

[Photini]

One Adam-12, One Adam-12, Code 1-9. (static) Hit and run at the scene (static).

Roger. 10-4. Hit and run. Over. (static)

LOL