I'm under impression that Finland is Western country in cultural sense, but I can't tell if community is more valued here or there, because I've never been in US. Anyways, this is getting a bit OT, so if you want to discuss our cultural differencies, feel free to ask in my AMA.
I'm not saying religion is entirely about community, or even mostly about it, but my point of view is that in religions with strong emphasis on community (such as Christianity in my understanding, with it's idea of "body of Christ"), the community is inseparable part of the religion. To reject the community is to reject part of the religion.
True, but what I'm saying is that I don't think it's a good idea for you to decide which religion you want based primarily on the atmosphere the community provides. There are plenty of factors, like doctrine, how well said doctrine is explained to newcomers (which I'll admit I'm no good at, I don't know how to really explain Christianity to someone who is about as familiar with it as I am with Buddhism), how well the group responds to criticism, etc. And that's all in addition to individualistic matters like whether you personally or willing to really "get into this".
Although I will say that I might be a bit of a biased source, since I was able to accept the religion without its community--not because I was ostracized, but because of difficulties with social interaction. The churches I went to were a reasonably good mix of worship and social club, which I always assumed was just sort of an American, Southeast US thing. I assumed churches in Europe were too small to have additional social activities like that.
For example, the churches I went to had, in addition to a regular service, Sunday school classes for every age group, annual picnics/cookouts, dinner that consisted of whatever the congregation collectively knew how to cook, Wednesday evening services that leaned more towards social stuff than worship, etc. I did very little of that since I didn't go to a church to find a community or make friends. I came to learn about God and apply the Bible to my life. Is this "wrong" or "right"? It depends on who you ask. My parents had no problem with it, even though they felt differently. So yes, while for most people religion is a lot about community, for me it's sort of been different. I intend to change that, eventually, but for right now CF has been a very good Christian community
What exactly are you looking for by joining a religion such as Christianity, exactly? Community, identity, a fixed moral compass, or both? I think I'd be able to explain this better if I knew exactly what you were looking for.
I also want to add that since I think you said you're most familiar with Lutheranism, I'm not, unfortunately. Those sorts of churches tend to be in the Mid-western US. Where I live your only choices are literally Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, and maybe a conservative version of Episcopal/Anglican. And my family literally chose for me!
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