Relationships. PLease answer quick? sorry

[owenlikesknowing]

Hi, is it true that its against gods "will" for Christians to have relationshiops with non-Christians?

I swear if it is ill kill something.

 

[psalms 91]

What it says is to be not unequally yoked. You would be in this case. My suggestion would be to develop a friendship and see if they will go to church with you and consider being a christian. What happens sadly in many of these type of relationships is that the believer gets pulled away rather than the other one being saved. Unequally yoked also means when believers are at such opposite ends of their walk, such as one that takes God seriously and prays and fasts and the other doesnt develop that personal relationship, it can also be hard. Since you are not a christian, would you be open to attending church and open minded to accept Christ if you are so led? If not then this could be a mistake for you and them.

 

[owenlikesknowing]

Shes already in a relationship with me. Some idiots came and told her she shouldn't be.

 

[psalms 91]

I stand by what I wrote. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will draw you through her and others that come into your life. As is you will either take her away from her beliefs or you will end up being saved. The third possibility is that it will be a disaster. Think if you got married and had children, how would they be raised? That is just one area of contention I can see. There are many others.

 

[seashale76]

Hi, is it true that its against gods "will" for Christians to have relationshiops with non-Christians?

I swear if it is ill kill something.

Marriage is a sacrament in the Church. We are only to marry with other Christians if we choose to marry. The exception being if someone is married and then becomes a Christian. If the non-Christian is okay with staying married to them, then it is fine. Like everything else, it is about the Eucharist.

Fortunately for you, if the girl you're with is already dating you she's bound to know you're an atheist. I suppose you can rejoice in the fact that she is choosing to ignore her faith for your sake. In inter-faith relationships one or both partners wind up compromising their beliefs in some way. If they claim they're not, it's because they pick and choose what they want to believe anyway. I'm sure you won't have much of a dilemma.

ETA: It's a serious thing in Orthodoxy. If a Christian were to knowingly marry a non-Christian- then he/she would be choosing to excommunicate himself/herself. They certainly wouldn't be allowed to get married in the Church.

 

[owenlikesknowing]

I suppose you can rejoice in the fact that she is choosing to ignore her faith for your sake.

I don't rejoyce in it. I could cry. I promised her I wouldn't do anything that contradicted her faith.

 

[seashale76]

I don't rejoyce in it. I could cry. I promised her I wouldn't do anything that contradicted her faith.

You're not. She has made a choice all on her own. You can't be held responsible for her actions. She is the Christian who got into a relationship with you. I don't think you've done anything wrong here. Is she breaking up with you because of this?

 

[psalms 91]

I am sad when I read that. Would you be open to attending church with her? To at least being open to the possibility that God exists? To explore Christianity from the bibles perspective rather than just saying there is no God? If you are open then I would suggest this as a start.

 

[owenlikesknowing]

Would you be open to attending church with her?

Do it almost every Sunday

To at least being open to the possibility that God exists? To explore Christianity from the bibles perspective rather than just saying there is no God?

I am

Is she breaking up with you because of this?

I think shes thinking she should but doesn't want to. I don't want her to feel like shes betraying the most important thing in her life for me.

Thanks.

 

[psalms 91]

Do it almost every Sunday



I am



I think shes thinking she should but doesn't want to. I don't want her to feel like shes betraying the most important thing in her life for me.

Thanks.

I think you are on the right path. I would urge you to explore her faith with her and find out why it is so important. Explore the bible together. Most of all ask God to help you with your unbelief. I dont think you are a athiest but rather someone who questions and just isnt sure.

 

[seashale76]

Do it almost every Sunday

I think shes thinking she should but doesn't want to. I don't want her to feel like shes betraying the most important thing in her life for me.

Thanks.

I get the impression that this relationship is pretty serious and you're both headed toward permanent status? You're a kind-hearted guy, Owen. I know many an atheist who wouldn't go to church for anyone's sake- not that anyone should expect you to if you don't want to in the first place. Perhaps you both should take the concern to her priest/vicar/minister/preacher? I hate to say that the ball is in her court on this. It isn't fair for you to be put in this position.

ETA: I wouldn't convert if you don't really believe. Don't feel pressured to do this for her sake. It is a serious commitment.

 

[owenlikesknowing]

be that as it may - I can't force myself to believe anything instantly, and for a long time it would be impossible even if I found absolute proof before I believed properly, even though I would like to believe. I can't lie to her although I would feel like it to stop our separation.

I don't know what to do. I can't leave her. Idk even if its in her interests I don't know if i could

 

[owenlikesknowing]

sorry seashale i didnt read your comment.

Perhaps you both should take the concern to her priest/vicar/minister/preacher?

Yea maybe. Thanks.

 

[psalms 91]

You are deeply inlove with this girl and you have a good heart from what I am seeing. First talk about your doubts and the lack of faith with her if she believes you are an athiest. You are not, you are someone searching for truth and if you want to you will find it in a relationship with Jesus. Notice I said relationship for it is a personal relationship rather than religion that you want. O)wen, all it takes to be saved (the first step) is to believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for you and paid the price for your sins and to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord. I know this wopuld be a big step for you but I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit as I type this. As you love this girl Jesus loves you so much more, so much that He gave His life for you and for all. I know that this is a lot coming at you but I urge you to explore what a real relationship with Christ is all about. Ask God to help you, discuss doubts and misgivings with her or the priest/pastor. Examine it closely for I promise that once you find the truth you will never want to have anything else. I know this is long but the point is that God wants you and you want truth. You will find it I promise you

 

[owenlikesknowing]

psalms91 and seashale76

I thank you for your all your advice.

Examine it closely

I will try my best. Yet if she breaks up with me before then...

Thanks again,
Owen.

 

[psalms 91]

Thank you Owen, I wil;l be praying for you.

 

[Adoniram]

psalms91 and seashale76

I thank you for your all your advice.



I will try my best. Yet if she breaks up with me before then...

Thanks again,
Owen.

Owen,
I don't think that "do not be unequally yoked" falls into the category of "commandment of God." Rather...it is a piece of strong advice, maybe even admonition, from Paul. And here's why- Being a Christian, she has a different set of priorities than you. She is to put God first in her life, then you and family. She is to make decisions with God's will in mind, and in an effort to please him. She will want to teach any children you might have to believe in God, and when they ask you about God and you tell them you don't believe, it'll confuse the heck out of them. There are many other facets to your life together in which, as a Christian, she would (or should) have a different outlook than you do.

On the other hand, her desire to be with you may make her compromise her faith...another reason for the warning. All of these differences will cause friction or conflict in your relationship....sooner or later. Bank on it.

So...what do you do? It's tough, man. And, I don't really have an answer.

One thing I don't recommend is trying to fake faith, not that I think you would...that wouldn't work for you, wouldn't fool her, and certainly wouldn't fool God. God sees into your heart, knows your every thought, every motivation.

I don't pretend to know why you don't believe in God. But you seem to have an enough interest to come to this site searching. Maybe you're sincere, maybe not...could be you just like a debate. Honestly though, for all the talking we do here, if God does not draw you to him, nothing we say will be convincing to you.

One thing I might suggest though, if you are sincere, is to try to see the love of God as it is reflected in your girlfriend's love for you. You see, we are created in the image of God, and her love for you is the image of God's love for you. Ask her sometime if she thinks God loves you and why she thinks that. And I might add, your girlfriend is aware that as much as you love her, it pales in comparison to how God loves her. This is her comfort, and it is also her fear. Fear? How? Because, she knows what her eternal future is...and she knows what your eternal future is. They are separate, and that scares her. Another reason for Paul's admonition.

Let me finish this by saying, Owen, that no one believes due to the fact that they have intellectually figured it out about God...that's impossible, because God is just too big, too wondrous, too mysterious, too, well...God. We'll never understand or know all there is to know about him. We'll never even scratch the surface. The decision to believe is as simple as saying "This is what I'm going to believe," and then acting in accordance with that belief. Studying his Word, learning what the Bible has to say about God, and having a relationship with him. No one has faith before they make that decision. Faith comes and it grows afterward as one learns about God and the promises he has made to those who believe. Do you think a child has the knowledge to back up belief? Yet Jesus said to have faith like a child, for as such is the kingdom of God. God intentionally made it that simple.

I pray that you find your way.

 

[ephraimanesti]

Hi, is it true that its against gods "will" for Christians to have relationshiops with non-Christians?

I swear if it is ill kill something.

MY BROTHER,

Yes, Scripture is quite clear that relationships with non-Christians--beyond the necessary contacts of everyday earthly life--is dangerous at best, and spiritually destructive at worst.

As Paul puts it, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? . . . 'Therefore come out from them and be separate', says the Lord."(II Corinthians 6:14-15; 17)

Although i have a sense that you are going to ignore Paul's advice--sounds a little like your mind was already made up before you posted your thread, possibly even thinking you are in love or some such--you at least cannot say that you weren't warned.

i assume she already knows the truth. May God give her the strength to act upon it.

ABBA'S FOOL,
ephraim

 

[ephraimanesti]

.I don't know what to do. I can't leave her. Idk even if its in her interests I don't know if i could

MY BROTHER,

Would it not be more honest to replace "can't" with the truth--"WON'T"? Were concern for the spiritual welfare of another you say you care about the primary motivator in your life, you wouldn't think twice and wouldn't look back, given the eternally significant aspects of the situation for her--if not yourself.

So it is perhaps best to tell it like it is, not confusing cannot with will not. That way you can at least stay grounded within yourself.

ABBA'S FOOL,
ephraim

 

[owenlikesknowing]

yes ephraim I am selfish.