Relationship status = divorced

[Khalliqa]

If your happy and enjoying the relationship then I say your doing fine. A lot don't have as much as you do and some of those are married.

Awwww thank you !!

 

[Rajni]

Never know what to choose. I'm dating but not married.. sort of courting ... maybe.. not sure.. divorced for over ten years.. Do I put single? Because I'm not married.. I'm in a committed relationship but after being a wife.. being someone's "girlfriend" just feels like such a step down and yet I'm not sure I'm ready for marriage.. and if it's not marriage it's kind of tentative and open and there's always a back door to get out.. so sometimes I feel single..

But I would never cheat on my boyfriend.. nor do I want the relationship to end..

I have confusement about fitting in.. and yet I'm happy with where I am right now lol

I've been divorced for around 7 years now, but I definitely feel more "single" than "divorced". I don't feel that divorce is a chief characteristic of mine, or of my life. It's more of an event that came and went than it is an ongoing state of being. I was divorced (in the past), hence I am single (now).

I remember posting a question about the absence of "Divorced" as a relationship-status selection here awhile back, and subsequently settling on "Single", because the other option, "Private", isn't really very descriptive (may as well keep it truly private by not having anything listed there at all, in that case).

I had the impression that "Divorced" was never provided as one of the relationship-status selections because it's considered 'scandalous' within churchdom, a failure of sorts, so maybe the rationale is "it's a bad thing so don't advertise it... keep such a shameful thing 'Private'", etc.

In my case, though, I don't see my divorce as necessarily a failure or an act of rebellion against God, but actually closer to an act of repentance, so feelings of shame don't really factor into it for me.

 

[Khalliqa]

I've been divorced for around 7 years now, but I definitely feel more "single" than "divorced". I don't feel that divorce is a chief characteristic of mine, or of my life. It's more of an event that came and went than it is an ongoing state of being. I was divorced (in the past), hence I am single (now).

I remember posting a question about the absence of "Divorced" as a relationship-status selection here awhile back, and subsequently settling on "Single", because the other option, "Private", isn't really very descriptive (may as well keep it truly private by not having anything listed there at all, in that case).

I had the impression that "Divorced" was never provided as one of the relationship-status selections because it's considered 'scandalous' within churchdom, a failure of sorts, so maybe the rationale is "it's a bad thing so don't advertise it... keep such a shameful thing 'Private'", etc.

In my case, though, I don't see my divorce as necessarily a failure or an act of rebellion against God, but actually closer to an act of repentance, so feelings of shame don't really factor into it for me.

You touched on a lot of things. I think I will start a thread about divorce soon.

 

[dayhiker]

chaela ... I can relate to your comments on feeling single and not feeling divorced. Which almost half of the church members now divorced its harder to be so negative and expect to have a lot of Christians attend your church. I do like that many churches have moved away from shaming people for their past as well.

 

[makeajoyfulnoise100]

I am divorced but I identify as single because there is no way of my ex ever coming back into my life. If I ever see him again I'll run to the nearest church and hope to God he didn't see me. I hope for the best for him, but not in a million years are we going to get back together. I identify as single to show that there is no more romantic love between me and him and that if anyone is going to date me they should know, eventually, I was married.

 

[Dr. Duderino]

I concur,
If two are legitimately divorced, then you are single until you find your true love.
I myself am entirely single even though I put "divorced" in my profile, as the vow and covenant of marriage were entirely destroyed by my former mate. There is nothing to go back to, no marriage left to reconcile. Like you can't do CPR on a dead corpse, ain't gonna happen.

 

[TheRealAriel]

Returning to this site after many years- I've been poking around settings and FAQs but can't seem to find the answers.. how do you change your marital status? I'm most definitely not in a relationship but I can't find any place to modify it.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Returning to this site after many years- I've been poking around settings and FAQs but can't seem to find the answers.. how do you change your marital status? I'm most definitely not in a relationship but I can't find any place to modify it.

You have to take out a support ticket using the Contact Us link.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

(Maybe this post should be in another sub-forum.)

Am I the only one here that lacks the possibility to chose "divorced" as relationship status in my profile? To me that's something different then being single.

Divorce is an event, not a status. In reality, there are only three statuses:

Married
Not married, but in a committed relationship
Single

How you got from one status to another can vary ("divorced“, "widowed", etc) but that is not a status in and of itself.