relationship HELP

[urwill4me]

hi everyone. my name is jason and im a 26 year old christian from canada. this looks like a really great place. anyway my prayer request is not life or death, but its a serious problem i need guidence and advice with.

i have this female friend that im very close with. i would go as far as to say were best friends. shes a christian and the most amazing girl ive ever known. some time ago i realized i was starting to have feelings for her, so i prayed about it and asked God to take them from me if it was wrong. ive spent months praying about this and my feelings for her have only accelerated. now im starting to feel empty when shes not around, and shes constntly on my mind. i think I KNOW that God has made us for eachother, that Hes made her for me. i know shes the one im meant to be with. shes my wife. i know i think im crazy to. i know God wouldnt allow my heart to feel this way if it was wrong.

i want to tell her, but i feel so guilty and dont want to make her feel uncomfortable, because i dont believe she feels the same for me, or even could see herself taking our relationship in that direction. but she has a right to know. im starting to worry that its inappropriate to keep this from her(even tho were both very respectful of eachother).

im seeking Gods will, His guidance, and His blessing. i dont currently have a church family to turn to for support. i need to understand how to proceed. thank you all for your prayers and i would be happy to post more info. if requested.

jason

****UPDATE****

hi friends. thanx for all your input - its very encouaging to read your thoughts and im blessed to have found this place. since my original post, ive been coming here before bed every night and praying for the other requests in the thread. what an awesone tool for God this site is! God is amazing.

i wish i could understand what Gods doing with me right now. the way i feel is so unusual. (just a little history) i was engaged once to our family pastors daughter, but she was unfaithful and we broke up in late 2003. i was with her for many years, and loved her with all i had, but now i feel as much love for my friend, if not more. i dont understand how or why my feelings are so intence. and now when im with her, i act so uninterested and stupid because she scares me to death. i see no evidence that she has an interest in me. ive spent at least 3 nites a week with her for the last 4 years. she hasnt had a boyfriend in all that time, not even a date. believe me when i say, shes the most beautiful girl i have ever seen. without a dout. shes my best friend. she drives an extra 25 min to come see me after work, and another 25 to go home. when you like someone you continue to see them until you like them more and more and eventually love them. thats kinda the process ive gone through the last eight months. now i cant imagine my life without her. i know she would encourage me to be a better person and a better christian, and id even go as far to say god has been preparing me my whole life to be her perfect partner to build a future with. and vice versa for her. the amount of things we have in common is phenomanal. its hard to describe what our relationship is like. besides sitting close to eachother and the occasional playful nudge, we dont touch eachother. i do find her very attractive, but that has little to nothing to do with the feelings ive been having. we have never talked about dating or our deep feelings for eachother.

i have prayed so many times for Jesus to remove these feelings from me if it wasnt his will for me to be with her. God answers my prayers all the time, so there must be a reason for why i feel this powerful about her since then. and that really scares me. sorry for the short story, but all the people in my life that i could vent this on are too close to both of us, and i dont want to make this into a public secret.

your continued prayers would be appreciated. please pray that god will give me peace in my heart. im so stressed from worrying about this all the time. i feel like im going to explode sometimes. i just ask that God will give me answers, even if its just be patient. thank you again all.

jason

her names erika by the way. shes 23 and im 26. if u know me please keep a lid on it for me until i figure out what to do

 

[Trails]

Lord give this man guidence in his relationship.
In my opion you need to let her know. Take her out and have a talk.

 

[devoted daughter]

May the Lord with you, Jason, and guide you; may you have clarity and insight in your decisions; may you have support on your path, and comfort in your heart; may you receive answers as the Lord reveals His plan for you. INJC

 

[lady_of_god]

Hello....


I'm going to say this, if it is meant to be (if she is your wife), as your feelings hasn't change but grown, then it will be. You don't have to worry about because the relationship will take a natural transgression in that direction.

You could ask her for her feelings for you, and then tell her yours in a day your having an indepth conversation.

I wouldn't worry about it all truly, just continue to pray to the Lord on what to do, and say next. Allow God to lead things as they should be.

Lord I pray that you give urwill4me the right words to say, and knowledge on Your will for him. Show him Your plans as to why they are close and if you will have them further their bond. We thank you father because we know you've heard us. In Jesus name Amen.

 

[Nyvvy777]

Saying a prayer for your guidance...

 

[JPPT1974]

Lord help Jason in what you want him to do and that he needs to lean on you as also he needs to follow your righteous path and that all will fall into place for your sake and his benefit. Amen!!

 

[urwill4me]

thank you everyoe for your kind words. God is keeping me positive and i am praying and waiting on him. erika and i are going for lunch today. i know she desires a relationship and is struggling and praying for God to provide. i pray he will open her eyes to me and give me corage to declare my feelings when the time is right. please continue to pray for us and for Gods will.

jason

 

[wingcross]

Father,

I pray You open a way for this young man to confess to this girl he liked. Bond this two mortals as You have bond many others. I pray You will bless them.

Finally, Father, I have the same problem here. Pls open a way for me.

In Jesus Name, I pray, Amen.

 

[MaddiesDad]

praying to bring a good outcome here.keep your faith.

 

[lady_of_god]

still praying for you

-Lady

 

[Cat59]

please pray that god will give me peace in my heart. im so stressed from worrying about this all the time.

Praying for you!

 

[JPPT1974]

thank you everyoe for your kind words. God is keeping me positive and i am praying and waiting on him. erika and i are going for lunch today. i know she desires a relationship and is struggling and praying for God to provide. i pray he will open her eyes to me and give me corage to declare my feelings when the time is right. please continue to pray for us and for Gods will.

jason

You are certainly and definately welcomed. God bless you and Erika!!

 

[silentpoet]

I pray God will provide you with wisdom and courage.

 

[urwill4me]

hi everyone

things are getting intense. im considering telling her my feelings this weekend. her parents are going away and shes invited me over friday and satruday evening. im scared to death and i have no idea what im going to say, but after how well my week with her has been, i have this feeling Gods preparing our hearts for satruday. i keep trying to gauge this situation logically, and it just confuses me more. weve spent 6 nights this week together, for 4 or 5 hours each night, just talking and playing cards, one on one. and were not kids were semi adults here, who live far away from eachother and both work all day. either were made for eachother, or im a fool, my feelings were false, and she will be heartbroken because her best friend turned out to be in love with her just like every other loser guy shes been close with. this cant be true. im sure god will watch over me either way, but right now i think if she hates me afterwards, its going to destroy me. and i survived a cheating fiance with best friend. so, why would Jesus allow me to fall for her SO much (even more this week!) that i HAVE to tell her, and destroy our 4 year friendship, after all this time spent in prayer? i just sit here, and look at her eyes, and inside im screaming prayer at God. "take this away if its not meant to be in Jesus name!" and oh...look...yup still there. i wish God would just tell me what to do. "tell her now" "kiss her now" "just be her friend". sorry for the rant. i called my old bible study teacher last weekend to break down and tell her everything, but she hasnt been home to return my call. its hard not having one person i trust (besides erika) to spill all this onto so i could get some feedback.

so if you can, please pray about satruday evening. i just want to know what to do and say, i need all the pieces to fall in place. please pray that satan and his demons will be cast out of our presence for our talk in the name of Jesus and that any influance he has over us will be broken in Jesus name.

God bless and THANK-YOU

jason

 

[silentpoet]

Be very careful that you do not mistake the desires of your heart for the will of God. I am not saying this is so, but it is a very real danger in the path you are on. I would not be a good brother if I did not warn you of this possible trouble spot in the road. I hope I am wrong and only wish the best for you, but I would feel amiss if I did not warn you to watch out for it.

I pray for the Lord's will in this matter and for your heart to be protected.

 

[dia_liom]

Praying that God will show you His will regarding your relationship with Ericka.

 

[JPPT1974]

Be very careful that you do not mistake the desires of your heart for the will of God. I am not saying this is so, but it is a very real danger in the path you are on. I would not be a good brother if I did not warn you of this possible trouble spot in the road. I hope I am wrong and only wish the best for you, but I would feel amiss if I did not warn you to watch out for it.

I pray for the Lord's will in this matter and for your heart to be protected.

Praying that you will be lead to the Lord's will and planning in your life and the life of those around you. For your sake and the Will of the Lord! Amen!!

 

[urwill4me]

. I would not be a good brother if I did not warn you of this possible trouble spot in the road. I hope I am wrong and only wish the best for you, but I would feel amiss if I did not warn you to watch out for it.

as i said before, i am without anyone to council me about this. i appreciate your warning and am praying about it. thank you.

i do feel guilty for feeling this way. but ive prayed every day for God to take this away if it was wrong or not his will. the last thing i need is to fall in love and be rejected. i didnt choose this, it just happened.

anyway i think tonites the nite - im asking for advice in the mens only forum here and again thank you all for your continued prayers

jason

 

[Witness Of His Love]

It's quite possible that Erika is as shy about her feelings for you as you are for her. Take it slow. Meet each other socially with other friends in Christ and simple dates that put no pressure on either of you like places and events you both have interests in. The lunch date you planned is nice. And no need to pour all your heart out at once. State simply how much you enjoy her company and always look forward to seeing her. Perhaps, some time, bring her one rose and a card and say it's just for her being who she is. Little things will add up and slowly you will both open up to each other revealing your true feelings.

Heavenly Father, help urwill4me find peace in your will concerning this relationship with Erika. Give him hope that no matter the outcome you are with him and have a plan not only for his purpose for you but also for his personal happiness throughout his life. Settle his spirit, Lord, let him know you are aware of his desire for he and Erika to be together but bless him with patience to wait on your timing and wisdom. In Jesus' name, Amen

 

[JPPT1974]

as i said before, i am without anyone to council me about this. i appreciate your warning and am praying about it. thank you.

i do feel guilty for feeling this way. but ive prayed every day for God to take this away if it was wrong or not his will. the last thing i need is to fall in love and be rejected. i didnt choose this, it just happened.

anyway i think tonites the nite - im asking for advice in the mens only forum here and again thank you all for your continued prayers

jason

If you want we can council you and please don't feel guilty for feeling that way as the Lord will be right behind you regardless of what happens no matter what occurs. May God bless and keep you Jason!!