Relationship advice

[iron4life]

This is my problem in my life currently there is a girl who I have become close to and I think that she feels the same way so I went to my pastor to ask him what I should do and he told me to pray about it and also to answer these 2 questions
What kind of husband will she need

What can I do to make myself the best husband for whoever my wife will be

But then I was discussing relationships with my parents who have been christians for a long time and was surprised to find out that they believed that god doesn’t lead u to the right girl and that u can go out with a number of people without even considering if you could see yourselves staying with them which is totally against what I believe the bible says. Although I have been out with a few people without thinking of the future this was when I was younger and not really a christian. I respect my pastor and I respect my parents and I just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation

 

[Aggiegal]

In my mind may of my past relationships helped me to develope who i am and who I want in a husband. i never consitered anyone I dated before college to be really marryable. I can see how i have matured over the years and how my expectations have changed. Anymore I am looking for a guy to make a future with, but not when i was younger.

 

[Hediru]

I disagree with what your parents said to a point. I believe that God does lead us to the person we are to marry, (if indeed we are to marry - some people can be called to a life of celibate singleness) just sometimes we don't recognize it as such. I would follow the pastor's advice and answer those questions, but not without much prayer. Despite the increased rate of divorce these days, marriage is still a committment that is for the long haul - to death do you part. Therefore, it is not a decision to be made lightly and God definetly should be kept in the loop. Good luck to you and best wishes. I will pray for you!

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

Part of me agrees with both and here's why...

I think that if you come into every relationship thinking you're going to marry that person, it can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself, and the other person. Sometimes it's good to just cautiously pursue a relationship with someone without the intent of marrying them at first. If things keep going good and you grow closer to each other, then start thinking about it. If things don't work out, as others said at least you hopefully learned soemthing through the relationship and gets you that much closer to being ready for the person of your dreams.

What happened with my relationship of 3 years (officially 3 years tomorrow!) is I just thought she was a really great person to be with, and was an amazing friend to have. I didn't really think of marriage all that much at the beginning, but as our relationship grew stronger and stronger I knew she was the one.

Then on the other hand, I do think every relationship you encounter is because of God. For whatever reason, He lets everything happen to us to make us better in the end, whether it's a good relationship or bad. Our weak eyes can only see 3 feet in front of us, but God sees things miles ahead. And I do feel it is important to take every relationship seriously, other wise you're just using the other person. by seriously I don't mean with an outset intent of marrying the person, but just to get to know them better and get closer to them.

Anyway, hope that helps ya out!

 

[NicelyAged]

The pastor left out 2 other important questions.

1. What kind of wife does iron4life need?

2. What has she done to make herself the best wife she can be?

 

[Moluku]

I think as Christians God has a part in everything we do. Especially when it comes down to finding a mate that we will remain with for life. I wound't think He'd want us to go around playing the dating game as we hope to be right in finding the one person who will make us happy. Only God knows who will make us happy in a marriage, and we have to stay in tune to that. Yeah, dating is nice and all, but avoid the hassle and seek first the one God may want you with. Try not to be preoccupied with what your parents, your pastor, friends, anyone around you may be telling you. This may be good advice and it could be idle noise as well. Just pray, that's your best course of action.