relapsed, trying to recover

[SteelNinja]

I posted similar things in two other threads in the SI column, so I hope I'm not doing this too many times already.

All I can say is I did hurt myself on purpose yesterday, and I was released from the hospital later that day. It was agreed between me, a psych nurse, psych doctor, another doctor, that it was more an impulsive mistake and that it did lead me to extreme regret and guilt about having done it.

I feel the same about it today. I can't believe I did this to myself I can only imagine how much I hurt other people yesterday as well. I apologized multiple times to them already. But it changes very little about how I'm feeling, absolute shear irresponsible impulsive stupidity on my part. I take full responsibility and I admit it was entirely my fault.I can't even tell you how difficult for me it's going to be to forgive myself for this.

I'm hoping that if there's support or advice out there, and forgiveness, I can try whatever I can to move forward. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist. I'm hoping to move the next appointment with him sooner. I hope I can find some good counseling and support groups extremely soon. And I welcome support or advice from foru.ms/CF.

 

[ChristInAction]

Hey,
my prayers & love go out to you threw this.
it sounds so hard.
trust me, i understand the hatred toward yourself.
though i do not know what going to the hospital for it is like.
so i dont really know what to say to help, i'm glad you have people in your life now, to hold you accountable & to talk to & you want to get better.
Just remember that when things get hard.
I'm always here to talk to if you need it.
ally xox

 

[BlessEwe]

There is nothing you can do about yesterday except to give it time and forgive yourself, God already does forgive and loves you very much. Let it all go to God. You did not do this on purpose, and you are seeking help. Try to be better to yourself, you can do this. I have heard that some people who have relapsed become even stronger of those who haven't because you have seen just how fast it can take you. Let God lift you up and start again.
God Bless you!

 

[justaspeck]

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