Rejection

[latteda]

Yes, I struggle with it and have struggled with it in the past. It definitely hast held me back at times.

Other times I've sucked it up and taken emotional risks anyway (romantically or with friendships) because I determined not to let fear dominate my life. In retrospect I am so incredibly thankful that I did, even though it hurt like heck learning to face up to it.

 

[Yankees7]

No big deal, I can't be everyones type.

 

[mina]

yes i do fear it and yes it probably does hold me back. I've also sucked it up and taken risks and gotten horribly rejected anyways- both in relationships and friendships. That is what is hard to me. I've just never had it work out for the good even when taking a huge risk. I still risk b/c that's life but yeah i struggle with it. But in some instances it's no big deal to me..... hard to explain i suppose.

 

[ceh85]

yes i do fear it and yes it probably does hold me back. I've also sucked it up and taken risks and gotten horribly rejected anyways- both in relationships and friendships. That is what is hard to me. I've just never had it work out for the good even when taking a huge risk. I still risk b/c that's life but yeah i struggle with it. But in some instances it's no big deal to me..... hard to explain i suppose.

Same here! I do feel like I've learnt something from each time it went horribly wrong though! Like how not to do it Knowing what I do now I would never go about things the way I did a few years ago so I think that is progress...

Life is a risky business and putting yourself in a position where you can experience rejection is part of that. It is upsetting when you are rejected but then you get over it. Not to mention that when you are brave and open up, you can make really good friends and more!

 

[Sketcher]

Yes. But it's not really the initial "no" that I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of "yes" and a subsequent changing of the mind.

 

[songz777]

Whether it be relationships, friendships, etc., I think everyone has suffered rejection at some point. But do you ever find yourself fearing rejection? Does that fear ever hold you back from forming meaningful relationships? Or am I just the only one?

I have "rejected" many times and many times I have been hurt. I am used to rejection BUT it doesnt phase me.. because I know that the past suitors were not the one God has set apart for me.. just tests of my faith in him

 

[Im_A]

Whether it be relationships, friendships, etc., I think everyone has suffered rejection at some point. But do you ever find yourself fearing rejection? Does that fear ever hold you back from forming meaningful relationships? Or am I just the only one?

Blind post:
Sometimes...I do try my best to remember that since I've dealt rejection to other people that means I can't really be right to bask in the fear of rejection with making myself look like an idiot.

 

[LadyL]

Yes, I am afraid of rejection. But most of the time I try to suck it up and eventually I know I will realize that, like my brother John- that person was not meant for me. There's something great about waiting for the right person for you.

As far as friendships, I've dealt with the whole mean girl attitude and sadly still do to a certain extent. But I'm still learning how to deal with those.

We all want to be loved, we just can't expect or think that other people whether in romantic relationships or friendships, can fill that void.

 

[GQ Chris]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[stephanieamber]

The fear of rejection is crippling to me. I've never truly opened up to anyone or let my guard down or let anybody get to know me. It sucks. But then if I start to and feel like I am about to face rejection, I push people away and put my guard back up.

..Which would happen to describe my past three days, hah.

 

[Niels]

We all probably fear rejection to a degree.

When I meet a woman who is particularly interesting, I'm able to get over myself and take initiative... but it's not always easy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[Thunder Peel]

This may sound really strange but I've kind of reached a point where it doesn't bother me anymore. I've been through it so many times in so many different circumstances that it just kind of bounces off of me without any effect. I'm actually more surprised when someone is accepting of me, because that's pretty rare these days.

 

[LadyL]

The fear of rejection is crippling to me. I've never truly opened up to anyone or let my guard down or let anybody get to know me. It sucks. But then if I start to and feel like I am about to face rejection, I push people away and put my guard back up.

..Which would happen to describe my past three days, hah.

I am a lot like you. I clam up especially with men I like and shut down. Still, I have hope that whatever caused this reaction, we will both be healed in Jesus name.

 

[stephanieamber]

I am a lot like you. I clam up especially with men I like and shut down. Still, I have hope that whatever caused this reaction, we will both be healed in Jesus name.

Word.

I do a lot of opening about myself, but never opening up TO myself, if that makes sense? I'm generally an open book and don't censor the information people hear about me.. but I rarely, if ever, am honest about my feelings. Somehow, in my brain, I created this idea that people want to be friends with/date/love/etc someone who is simple, who is easy going. The result has been a lot of "oh don't worry about it"'s or "Seriously, no big deal" or "You're totally fine, I was kind of in the mood to stay inside anyway" or what have you not.

For me, it helps me keep people at a distance. Then, when I go through hard weeks like I have now, I feel so stupid saying anything about it because I build up this idea that I can handle negativity with grace and a smile. Which is only true until my bedroom door is shut or I am alone at the piano, you know?

It's so weird to me that we ALL have emotions, we ALL struggle with sad days or extremely happy days or useless days or ugly days.. but for some reason it's so hard for some of us to be honest about them, as if those emotions will make us someone we're not. or something. I don't know. I have cupcakes to frosting.

 

[LadyL]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9znqy_4FY40 Ever heard this song?

I heard it yesterday and actually understood what it was saying. It describes me sometimes, sadly one of my downfalls is that I have this perfectionist tendency that I've struggled with for a while, ready to let it go but it's a battle.

Sure, one I know God will take away. But yes, I know exactly what you mean. We've just got to learn to know that it's ok to be hurt and share that with others. I am trying to learn how to trust people and let my guard down, at least with friendships.

It will take awhile for me to trust some guy romantically enough to let my guard down with them. But that's ok- if he's the right guy, I figure he'd say that I'm worth it and would be patient.

 

[stephanieamber]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9znqy_4FY40 Ever heard this song?

I heard it yesterday and actually understood what it was saying. It describes me sometimes, sadly one of my downfalls is that I have this perfectionist tendency that I've struggled with for a while, ready to let it go but it's a battle.

Sure, one I know God will take away. But yes, I know exactly what you mean. We've just got to learn to know that it's ok to be hurt and share that with others. I am trying to learn how to trust people and let my guard down, at least with friendships.

It will take awhile for me to trust some guy romantically enough to let my guard down with them. But that's ok- if he's the right guy, I figure he'd say that I'm worth it and would be patient.

I actually have heard that song. Natalie Grant is really great.. because a lot of times I feel like I can relate to HER? anyway, tangent.

Christ was vulnerable with people - people he knew would betray him and disown him. if he did it, I guess we shouldn't worry about it so much. Even though our time on this earth with the potential for pain and rejection and betrayal seems to go on forever, it is really just a short amount of time. Soon we will be in front of the Lord, who will heal it all anyways.

 

[Brad2009]

This may sound really strange but I've kind of reached a point where it doesn't bother me anymore. I've been through it so many times in so many different circumstances that it just kind of bounces off of me without any effect. I'm actually more surprised when someone is accepting of me, because that's pretty rare these days.

LOL

 

[white dove]

I hate the lie that comes with experiences of rejection - that of worthlessness. Just because someone else does not value a person for whatever reason doesn't mean that the person has no value whatsoever. When I've been rejected for jobs, roles or even a guy, I would usually shrink up and emotionally ball up into a yarn ball inside. I figured if one job or group of people rejected me, that means I'm a reject, right? But, who cares. The world is so diverse, people can be so different in the things they're looking for. When it comes to jobs, sometimes there are other things at play there that you might not see. It doesn't mean you suck as a worker; it might just mean you're overqualified or don't fill a need that particular office or whatever has. When it comes to someone you're interested in, maybe there's a good reason you don't pique their interest... and who knows, you might be glad later that they rejected you (Hello, high school! )

 

[ceh85]

I hate the lie that comes with experiences of rejection - that of worthlessness. Just because someone else does not value a person for whatever reason doesn't mean that the person has no value whatsoever. When I've been rejected for jobs, roles or even a guy, I would usually shrink up and emotionally ball up into a yarn ball inside. I figured if one job or group of people rejected me, that means I'm a reject, right? But, who cares. The world is so diverse, people can be so different in the things they're looking for. When it comes to jobs, sometimes there are other things at play there that you might not see. It doesn't mean you suck as a worker; it might just mean you're overqualified or don't fill a need that particular office or whatever has. When it comes to someone you're interested in, maybe there's a good reason you don't pique their interest... and who knows, you might be glad later that they rejected you (Hello, high school! )

So true! It depends not just on what you have to offer, but on what the other party is looking for. You may have all these amazing qualities/skills which are right for lots of things, just not for this one thing/person who rejected you. You don't suddenly lose all those qualities/skills because one person doesn't want them.

I think it is a blessing that we all work in different ways and have different strengths/weaknesses. Otherwise everyone would be after the same job, the same person.. it would be a total scrum

Stephanie I can identify so much with what you said. I hate to make a fuss with anyone except my family cos I know they will put up with it Although even then I can find it difficult. Lately I have been being more upfront with people and I hope I will get to the point where I think I am happy with myself (most of the time!) and God loves me...and that is enough.

 

[LadyL]

Aww, WD- that was great post.
Ceh- I agree, we have to get to the point where we realize God is enough.