Rejection

[leothelioness]

Whether it be relationships, friendships, etc., I think everyone has suffered rejection at some point. But do you ever find yourself fearing rejection? Does that fear ever hold you back from forming meaningful relationships? Or am I just the only one?

 

[Brad2009]

No, you're not alone

I hate feeling excluded or rejected. But, God works all things to good for those who love him, even rejection and feelings of inadequacy - perhaps to draw you closer to Himself first And its such a universally bad feeling that Jesus even lists it up there under suffering for His name's sake (blessed are you when you're excluded by men for my name's sake).

 

[radhead]

You are not alone.

 

[BRISH]

Whether it be relationships, friendships, etc., I think everyone has suffered rejection at some point. But do you ever find yourself fearing rejection? Does that fear ever hold you back from forming meaningful relationships? Or am I just the only one?

Your'e the only one hun.


I'm sure, actually, that this issue is one of the more common ones and I definately am dealing with it.

Hang in there.

 

[* kittie *]

Yes I do fear...often enough. And yes it does hold me back.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

It's pretty common.

 

[leothelioness]

But, God works all things to good for those who love him,

IDK, I can't really believe that. It seems to say that if God hasn't worked good in your life then it's because you don't love Him. Not to mention the fact that those who were closest to God suffered the most.

even rejection and feelings of inadequacy - perhaps to draw you closer to Himself first

I've heard that so many times. I just don't think that's what it is.

 

[leothelioness]

Yes I do fear...often enough. And yes it does hold me back.

I understand.

 

[kevlite2020]

I don't have a fear of rejection, although I don't like being mocked. I'll give you an example. If there's a girl I think is cool, there's nothing in me that holds me back from asking her on a date. But if let's say that girl is hanging out with a bunch of her girlfriends, I wouldn't approach her in the middle of all of them and ask her out, because if she does reject me, I don't want a whole group of people to share that awkwardness and laugh at me over it or anything.

 

[mochamajesty]

Yes, I fear rejection, and it does hold me back. I always wait for the man to make the first move. Some of the reason is because I am old-fashioned. But, a huge part of it is because I don't want to be the one to be rejected.

 

[Blank123]

mmhmm. you're definitely not alone.

 

[Brad2009]

IDK, I can't really believe that. It seems to say that if God hasn't worked good in your life then it's because you don't love Him. Not to mention the fact that those who were closest to God suffered the most.



I've heard that so many times. I just don't think that's what it is.

I really like that you're honest about your doubts, if we don't help one another from our inner parts then we're not family, sis I guess I'll tell you a little story from about a year or so ago, kinda embarrassing, but oh well.

I went out on a date with a girl I met on a Christian dating site... went out for coffee. I didn't buy her coffee, which I guess set a bad tone. Anyway, I hadn't been out on a date in awhile, so I was kinda nervous and I didn't make a good first impression, and kinda struggled to come up with something to say to her, etc... So about 20 minutes into it, she says that she doesn't think this is a good match and whatnot. Reflecting on it, she was prolly further along in her walk than I was at the time and I have absolutely no problem with her actions - she was very straightforward and honest

Anyway, I felt really low after that. So, I went home and maybe stewed for a bit... then I started to pray and cried (not cried out, broken down crying) about my situation to God... AND then it was like He was right there with me and I felt His love in a way I never had before. He was right there all along, but suddenly His love for me just became so tangible and real and so wonderful. And all this time before, I wasn't really loving Him back... He was holding out His love to me and it wasn't until I needed Him sooo much that I started really loving Him back.

And the irony? His Love is preferable to life itself, which is something I now know because He started a good work in me and has been faithful to carry it through. Even when I have been faithless, he has called me back. I love my God and I am thankful that He broke through my pride so that I could love Him back.

Here's the original scripture in context FWIW:

Romans 8:18-30 (NIV):
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

More Than Conquerors

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

 

[sister4mercy]

@ Kevin's avatar!

Afraid of rejection? As far as relelationships..I don't pursue men.
The only real fear I have is of God. He brought me into this world and he can take me out!!

 

[IDDQD]

I don't fear rejection considering I know who I am in terms of self-identity, I have a cockroach-esque level of self-sufficiency, I have my autonomy, and I know how to be happy no matter what stage of life I'm in.

 

[GQ Chris]

Risking rejection is worth possibly winning, I'd rather live my life with no regrets than not ever risking.

 

[GQ Chris]

@ Kevin's avatar!

Afraid of rejection? As far as relelationships..I don't pursue men.
The only real fear I have is of God. He brought me into this world and he can take me out!!

Somebody's daddy taught her well

 

[GQ Chris]

Courage is not the absence of fear, it's doing your job despite the fear you feel.

 

[contrabar]

you're not the only one

 

[Allen1901]

Yes, I fear rejection, and it does hold me back. I always wait for the man to make the first move. Some of the reason is because I am old-fashioned. But, a huge part of it is because I don't want to be the one to be rejected.

Yay, another Democrat! We're taking over!

Welcome to CF!

 

[Qyöt27]

Debilitating fear - I suffered from violent*, paralytic panic attacks during High School, and there was more than one time that the school had to call the paramedics over it. But I think there was a lot more to it than simply the fear of rejection, even though that was the main thing. I've struggled with self-loathing practically since I was 15 or 16, and it only gets worse the more numb I get.

*violent, in the sense of extremely severe; my joints/muscles would lock up so completely that it was capable of producing vice-grip pressure in the couple of times they were locked on the sides of my head. Also-extreme emotional distress usually accompanied it as well, not typically due to the attack, though. It was bad enough that my classmates had no idea what was even going on, and it didn't help that a couple of those times when the paramedics had to be called, they even had the class leave the room and go out into one of the nearby courtyards.

Some of my posts on here from right after I first joined even show this (the text in my signature is another fragment from that point in time), although as I said, I've been pretty numb for the last, I don't even know anymore. Every so often something will hit that nerve and all of it will come flooding back in excruciating intensity and detail - to be honest, I'd much rather feel that all the time than have to deal with not feeling anything at all, or feeling only a distorted sense of time and reality because of the former.